


SHINee ships || One shot collection

by MoMyMiddleName



Category: K-pop, SHINee
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Art, Attraction, Bakery, Bathtubs, Beaches, Being Lost, Blow Jobs, Bonding, Breakfast, Clubbing, Coffee, Coffee Shops, Cooking, Cute, Falling In Love, Fascination, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Football, Gay, Glasses, Growing Up, Idiots in Love, Insomnia, Late Night Conversations, Late at Night, Light Angst, Living Together, Loneliness, Lost Boys, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic, Meddling Kids, Non-Graphic Violence, Ocean, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Piano, School, Shyness, Silence, Sleep, Sleepy Cuddles, Smoking, Smut, Snow, Sports, Tea, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Waiter, Writer, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2018-09-24 22:09:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 50,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9789254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoMyMiddleName/pseuds/MoMyMiddleName
Summary: Smut, fluff or angst, anything really - check the (way too) thorough tags for the themes.All SHINee ships, all gay, all good, all written by me.Enjoy the result of a soft Jinki stan writing about her favourite babies.





	1. Jongyu - Puppy Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut/fluff  
> Wordcount: 6,6K
> 
> Edit: Keeping the "plot", I basically changed up the whole thing because it was shit before. Now it's a little less shit :) yay!

Jinki took his first walk after moving to Seoul from Gwangmyeong bordering up to the capital. As much as Jinki had desired to get away from home, he was still feeling the nerves that come with living all alone for the first time. That is why he was comforted by the relatively close proximity to where he was born and raised. Jinki had found it rather enjoyable to be able to step out onto his new balcony in the morning and realise he only would need his thin jacket today. He put it on with a smile on his face, already enjoying the walk he was about to go on, nearly forgetting the responsibilities that a new day alone brought. Lately, his head had been filled with those worries and the memories of a simpler time.

The air feels just as comfortable on street level, Jinki noted once he stepped out of the building. Jinki loved long walks, especially in the spring. It was the time of year where everyone and everything felt hopeful and happy, just like Jinki always did, even in this big new city where he only knew a couple of people beforehand. His worries vanished with the breeze that hit his face gentle and with that, his surroundings became a dear friend. The city was company enough for him.

He took a deep breath to feel the comfort rush through him before his feet carried him down his little street. With each step something new would catch his eye; everything from a building's colour to little bumps in the road. He stuck his hands in his pockets and wrapped one hand around his small sketchbook, lying safely in the depth of his right trouser pocket as always and decided to take a right turn where he had spotted a small park earlier that week.

Jinki loved when city and nature would clash. To him, it was as if they had made a compromise to live in between each other in a happy unison. Jinki liked to imagine that city and nature had sat down and discussed the matter over a warm cup of tea some solemn afternoon and come to a mutual agreement so they could live peacefully together. Peace was important to Jinki. This was one of the reasons he liked walking; it was peaceful. Even in a stressful city, it was peaceful to him.

Jinki spotted a football team practising on the other side of the park. Jinki never understood sports but found it fascinating nevertheless. He walked mindlessly (no, Jinki never did something mindlessly) in their direction and made a subtle skip for the bench nearby, where he sat and watched the group of young men play. Now Jinki was very honest with himself; he knew that the reason he had sat down to watch football of all things, was partly that he was somewhat interested in men. He watched as they continuously ran after the ball with determination and beads of sweat making their way down their foreheads. A few took their red and white shirts off when they had the chance.

Jinki took out his sketchbook and began to draw a certain one of them, one he had found the most captivating. He tried to catch the details of his face as he ran up and down the field not quite as close as Jinki would like him to. He had quickly noted the prominent cheekbones, the pink lips and the slightly bushy eyebrows. Jinki's drawing was finished about the same time as the game. The men all scattered around in a circle that broke a few minutes later, all of them leaving in different directions. Jinki noted the time and the weekday. He would come back, he was sure and it was better to simply roll with it than to lie to himself.

As Jinki walked home, he pictured the same face he had drawn, lining out his features in his mind. Somehow all of those lines gathered together into something more perfect than Jinki thought possible. Not even Jinki's drawing skill could quite live up to those godly shapes. He closed his eyes for a second to properly see his face before him again and found he had to reach for his sketchbook to see the drawing again. That night he pleasured himself, thinking of him. He felt it needed as the image of the man's face had not left his mind for a single second that day. Was it creepy? Maybe a little bit, Jinki had to admit in the self-deprecating aftermath of what a tiny infatuation had led him to do.

Jinki was quick to find out that they played at eight in the morning, twice a week. He attended every time without fail. He would sit on the bench and week after week, watch them run back and forth after the ball while his sketchbook was in his firm grip of one hand and his pencil in the other. Jinki was continuously entertained by the sport, well, the men playing the sport, well, one man in particular. His favourite part was the warm-up where they would run in straight lines and do different exercises. Another moment he would secretly sit and enjoy was when  _Jonghyun_ , that was his name, would push his sweaty hair back and Jinki would neglect the pencil pressed against the half-finished drawing in favour of watching the simple movement. Jinki had noticed quickly that the young man he had his eyes on would always react to the name "Jonghyun" and he took it that would be his name.

It did occur to Jinki that the footballers might have noticed that a weirdo with a sketchbook would always come by and watch them practise. One thing that made him suspicious that they might know was how Jonghyun had sometimes glanced over at him. The warm feeling occurring in his chest aside, he wondered if it was creeping him out as much as Jinki feared when he was in bed overthinking more or less everything.

It had been just about one month into Jinki's new habit of watching, maybe the boys and not actually the men, practice when he sat watching Jonghyun leave with his three friends. This time, they went in a different direction than what they used to; straight for Jinki, to be exact. With his heart racing faster at each step they took closer, his mind began to run through the options. His first idea was to bolt although as ideal as it sounded to Jinki at that moment, his legs were not with him on that one. The second idea was to start explaining straight away - no way. He would sound like he knew he was doing something wrong and, completely honestly, he didn't know if he was. The third option; hear them out; very mature. Bingo, that was the one.

"Hello," they all said to Jinki, who was still unsure what their intentions were and very fearful that he had been seen gawking too obviously.

"Hello," Jinki replied. He bowed his head just a little bit. Respect comes first, his parents had always reminded him and it had stuck with him all the way to confused young adulthood because old habits die hard.

"Are you interested in football?" One of them asked. Jinki believed this was Minho.

"Not in particular," Jinki answered. The grip he had on his sketchbook was tight.

"We don't intend to sound rude, but you always sit and watch us. We were wondering why?" Jonghyun asked. The look in his eyes told Jinki that the much worried about intentions were not as bad as expected. It was merely curious. Jinki could deal with curiosity.

"I am not quite sure. I take a lot of walks and somehow ever since I moved here, I like to end up here every time." Jinki did not want to tell them that he came to admire (more like gawk to the point of almost drooling at) their unrealistic beauty. Even with an honest nature like Jinki's, he found that to be more information than needed to share.

"Fair enough. I'm Kim Jonghyun, by the way." He stepped closer and reached out a hand for Jinki to take. Jinki was tempted to tell him that he already knew this but decided against it. Once again, TMI on the creepy stalker front.

"Lee Jinki." He took his hand and shook it. This repeated with Kim Kibum, Lee Taemin and Choi Minho. He had known all of their names already. "It's nice to finally meet all of you considering I've been quietly watching you play football for about a month now. I'm sorry if I freaked you out in any way. That was certainly not my intention." Politeness was dominant in Jinki's wording and was strangely followed by Jinki beaming at them, showing off his slightly crooked teeth. The four boys, Jonghyun in particular, shot baffled smiles right back at him as if what his friends back home had said was true.  _"Your smile hits so hard, the only thing you can do is smile back. It's too charming for you to be so awkward around people."_

"It's nice to meet you too." Jonghyun seemed to be leading this conversation which Jinki did not mind. He was finding Jonghyun increasingly more interesting with every word leaving his mouth and every movement made subtle as they may have been. Jinki wanted desperately for him not to leave now that there had finally been initiated contact between the two of them. As this thought ran through his head, another replaced it. An idea. He would ask Jonghyun if he would let Jinki paint him and so he did.

"Oh, wow, that's really cool. I- sure, okay. Let's do it. When were you thinking?"

"Whenever you have the time." Jonghyun hesitated for a moment with a quick look at his friends whose eyes were definitely all giving their opinions on the matter but that was the kind of BFF communication that Jinki would not be able to pick up on for the life of him.

"Now?" His puppy eyes found Jinki's once again with questioning intensity. Jinki found Jonghyun to look gracefully innocent at this moment which was the opposite of how he had seen him up until now, up until he got him this close. From afar, Jonghyun came off as sexy and very aware of this fact. However, from where Jinki was standing now, Jonghyun seemed innocent and cute. As if his lips had never touched another's. If this was the case, Jinki very much wanted to be the one to change that.

"I have time now," Jinki nodded. "I have all my equipment at home. It's not far." He smiled half a smile to cover up the nerves that he was afraid were starting to show. Jonghyun nodded and stepped closer to Jinki, waving goodbye to his friends with a reassuring smile.

"Why do you want to paint me?" Jonghyun asks them as they begin to move in the direction of Jinki's flat.

"Because you're beautiful." When Jinki was alone with Jonghyun it was easier to be blunt and honest - still trying to keep the creepy levels at an OK, though. "Truth be told some of the reason I have been watching your team a lot is because of you."

"Because I'm beautiful?" Jonghyun chuckled lightly. Maybe not so creepy then? Jinki had to smile.

"I couldn't take my eyes off you when I first saw you on that field," Jinki continued with his honest words before realising it had taken Jonghyun aback. "My excuse is that I am an artist. That is what I do. I look for beautiful things to interpret," he added with a small smile to make Jonghyun feel at ease. It seemed to work.

"Have you painted for a long time?" Jonghyun was genuinely interested in Jinki's life. Jinki did not know this, but Jonghyun had too found Jinki interesting as he sat on the bench practice after practice. Not once was he late. He had stolen glances at Jinki a few times. Jinki would always be looking in his direction so he wondered if he had seen him glancing.

"I have. I originally started drawing first but after developing an interest in painting, I kept both up." Jinki took out his sketchbook and opened on one of the many pages, where Jonghyun's face had been drawn.

"Is that me?" Jonghyun's puppy eyes were back. Jinki nodded and Jonghyun's impressed glance flickered between Jinki's face and his own on the paper of the mentioned male's notebook. "It's really beautiful. I didn't know I could look so good," he joked ever so light-heartedly.

"Oh, but you can, and you do." Jonghyun's eyes found Jinki's again at these words. Jonghyun was once again startled by Jinki's honesty. "Here we are." Jinki stopped by his front door and opened it up. He held it for open for Jonghyun and it earned him a blush that Jonghyun very obviously failed at hiding.

Jonghyun's attraction towards boys had always subconsciously been there. Only two years ago had he admitted it to himself and his friends. Although he swung both ways, he had not yet engaged in any physical or emotional relationship with a man. He had once kissed Taemin on the lips during a drunken game of truth or dare with his friends. He did not count that as a real "homosexual experience".

Jinki, on the other hand, had been with a few men. He had even been in several relationships, although none of them had lasted long. The longest being seven months. The men Jinki had met stopped being interesting after a while, which made Jinki believe that maybe he was not made for love, so why was that feeling forgotten when his eyes fell on Jonghyun? He had this feeling of need towards Jonghyun more than he had ever had with anyone else, in a way he had never needed someone before, especially not so soon after meeting them.

Jonghyun sat down on a chair as Jinki instructed. Before they had begun, Jinki made them tea. He put Jonghyun's mug on a chair next to him. Jinki sat opposite Jonghyun by his canvas.

"Just relax. You can sit however you like," Jinki told Jonghyun, who then relaxed his body and directed a small smile towards Jinki. Jinki instantly smiled back to ensure the utmost relaxed atmosphere in the room. "Tell me about yourself," Jinki said as he began outlining.

"I'm 19 and from Seoul. I have played football for six years with my friends Minho, Kibum and Taemin. I also live with them. I go to school with them too... And I'm bisexual." Jonghyun hesitated with the last bit but decided to be honest like Jinki had been with everything.

"I am too." Jinki could not help but smile at the idea that there was a chance to at least date him a little bit if not a whole lot. "When did you find out?" Jinki wanted Jonghyun to continue to speak. His voice made him melt completely.

"Two years ago, I admitted it to myself. I told my friends the next day. They were very relaxed about it and that made me more confident... What about you?" Jonghyun was just as mesmerised by Jinki as Jinki was by him. He wanted to hear Jinki's voice melt him in return.

"I have always known and always accepted it, ever since I knew what it meant to be gay or straight. I told my parents when I was 11 which says a lot."

"How old are you now?"

"22."

"What do you do?"

"I just moved to Seoul after finishing up art school. I have been drawing and painting. I try to sell some of my works and then I work part-time at the café just around the corner. Very cliché job, but it gets me money and it's fun."

"It is kind of cliché. Comes to Seoul trying to make it as an artist, meanwhile living in a small flat and working part-time at a café so you can survive. I bet your bed is just a mattress on the floor too." Jonghyun looked amused at Jinki. His puppy eyes had returned along with his blinding toothy grin. A giggle so light Jinki almost didn’t catch it escapes through his teeth.

"... Shut up," Jinki laughed because the younger boy had gotten it spot on.

"I knew it." Jonghyun’s amused smile stayed on his face much to Jinki’s joy. Jinki liked Jonghyun the best like this... Well, he liked everyone best when they were happy but there was something about Jonghyun's smile that was special, something about Jonghyun's happiness that was special, something about Jonghyun that was special. Jonghyun took a sip of his tea.

"Is it any good?" Jinki watched him as he swallowed the liquid in his mouth. He watched how his Adam's apple bopped once as he did so.

"Very." Jinki looked back at his canvas and bit the inside of his lip.

Their small talk continued while Jinki painted, unaware of the time ticking on the watch on his wrist. It was starting to look like something when he stood up and walked closer to Jonghyun.

"I need to see the details of your face." Jonghyun slowly nodded as Jinki's face came closer to his. Jinki grabbed Jonghyun's chin, making Jonghyun bite his lip without thinking. He quickly let go of it and gulped instead. Jinki noticed both of these actions and could not help but let a chuckled escape his mouth. As Jinki examined Jonghyun's face and made mental notes to himself, Jonghyun searched for Jinki's gaze. He wanted Jinki's eyes to lock with his so badly. He wanted Jinki's lips to lock with his so badly. Finally, Jinki's eyes met Jonghyun's and due to some still remaining teenage bravery, Jonghyun moved his face slightly forward until their noses touched at the tips.

"Would you kiss me... If I asked you to?" Jonghyun was looking up at Jinki with awe and hope. He found Jinki to be absolutely breathtaking both on the inside as well as on the outside. He felt an urge; an urge to discover everything there was to discover about Jinki. An urge to uncover everything about this beautiful painter. Uncover his mind, uncover his body, uncover his soul.

"Of course." Jonghyun's breath turned shaky. He was breathing slowly just like Jinki. Slow, deep breaths. Jinki wanted Jonghyun in every way possible. Physically, mentally, spiritually, artistically, whichever way he was allowed have him.

"Please do," Jonghyun whispered to Jinki. The silence grew louder up until the point where it became unbearable and Jinki crashed his lips onto Jonghyun's as if he had waited all his life for him. In a way, he had. He had never loved someone as he loved Jonghyun. He did not know this kind of love existed, but he had waited for it, for Jonghyun. He let his hands caress Jonghyun's thighs sweetly before placing them on his warm cheeks. Jonghyun put both his hands in Jinki's hair, pulling gently at it as their lips moved together better than any of them had ever experienced before.

When Jinki's tongue slipped into Jonghyun's mouth, he stood up to pull Jinki closer. He locked his arms around Jinki's neck and kept his hands in the older boy's hair. Jinki moaned at this sudden movement, pushing Jonghyun gently up against the wall. He was careful not to hurt this piece of art he had stuck to his lips and clinging to his hair.

"Beautiful," Jinki mumbled and Jonghyun smiled into the kiss.

When the kiss broke, all Jonghyun could do was stare up at Jinki. Jinki was looking back down at Jonghyun, who had him lost for words for the first time in a good while.

"Can I stay?" Jonghyun broke the silence.

"Of course, ... Are you hungry?" Jonghyun nodded and was taken by the hand and lead into the kitchen where he was sat down by Jinki's small café table.

"What are we having then?" Jonghyun asked Jinki, who was getting out a pan and something from the fridge.

"I have some leftover pancake mix from this morning." Jonghyun cheered in excitement, which made Jinki chuckle. "You're very, very cute." When Jinki said this, like flipping a switch, Jonghyun’s eyes grew playfully dark. He got up from his chair and slipped in between the stove and Jinki.

"I'm actually pretty good at seduction." His voice had gone a few octaves deeper as he whispered this. His puppy eyes had turned into the most luring bedroom eyes Jinki had ever looked into. Jinki gulped and a deep sexy chuckle erupted from Jonghyun's throat.

This was going to be different from what Jinki had originally thought. He had, without really thinking about it, expected to be the dominant of the two, but looking at Jonghyun he could tell that whatever this was right now, it would turn into a constant fight for dominance and a lot of sexual tension. He was positive the possible sex was going to be fucking hot and he was also pretty sure that was an understatement.

Jinki stole a quick although wet kiss from Jonghyun and smiled widely at him. Jonghyun pulled Jinki closer by his neck with a tight grip. Their lips collided for another wet kiss.

 _Daddy much?_ Jinki had thought as Jonghyun placed a hand on his hip and had deepened the kiss further. Jinki was a fool for thinking it wasn’t a trick and nearly felt it as a stab of betrayal when Jonghyun moved away with a teasing look in his eye. "Still waiting for those pancakes.” He sat back down with a look of satisfaction that Jinki glared angrily at before getting started on the pancakes.

The more they got to know about each other over coffee and pancakes, the more they fell in love. At first, it was strange for Jonghyun, who had never even kissed a boy like this before but soon it felt only right sitting in Jinki's small kitchen, looking into his deep brown eyes, telling him he was beautiful at least once every two minutes. He adored the way Jinki would smile and tell Jonghyun that he was beautiful too.

"You keep staring at my lips," Jonghyun pointed out with a chuckle. Jinki wanted to kiss him again so badly. He expressed this to Jonghyun who then stood up and pulled Jinki with him. He reached up to place his lips on Jinki's. They were quickly accepted and Jinki towered over the younger, with his hands wrapped around his waist. Smoothly Jonghyun slid his hands up underneath the loose t-shirt Jinki was wearing and forgot to breathe for a few seconds as he caressed the soft skin of the older. Jinki detached from Jonghyun, who whined at the loss of contact until Jinki pulled his shirt over his head and got the younger awkwardly staring at the bare skin of his upper body. He looked up at Jinki with unintentional puppy eyes as he bit his lip. Jinki shivered. Those eyes could make him do anything. He prayed that Jonghyun would never find that out but he doubted that he would be able to keep it from him for long.

"I want you so badly," Jinki breathed out as he stared into Jonghyun's large eyes. A somehow innocent yet sexy smile told Jinki that he could go crazy because Jonghyun was one hundred percent his. The two stood silently I the kitchen for a few seconds when Jinki grabbed him by the hips and lifted him up from the floor. Jonghyun wrapped his arms around Jinki's neck and legs around his waist. Jinki then carried him into his bedroom where he was sat down carefully on the expected mattress on the floor. Off Jonghyun's shirt went and Jinki let him fall onto the mattress. Feelings of lust taking over their bodies, everything blurred out in Jinki’s mind as he went about undressing Jonghyun from his football clothes.

Jonghyun could not fathom the strong feelings he had so suddenly developed for someone whose name he had known for no more than a couple of hours. He shivered at Jinki's touch and as his kisses moved down Jonghyun's chest he felt his dick get harder. Jonghyun surprised himself with a moan that made Jinki pause to look up at Jonghyun and bite his lip. He felt Jinki pull at his football shorts as he continued planting sweet, wet kisses lower and lower. Jinki smiled as Jonghyun's breathing got heavier. When Jinki bit down on the exposed skin, Jonghyun’s hand flew down to Jinki’s head of hair with a yelp.

"I could kiss you like this all day," Jinki whispered into his skin. Jonghyun hummed to show he wouldn't mind, still with his eyes closed and a hand tangled in Jinki's soft hair. Jinki pulled down Jonghyun's shorts bringing his underwear with them. He sighed at the sudden freedom but simultaneously felt nerves and insecurities creep into his mind unwanted. Jinki slid back between Jonghyun's thighs, kissing them as he moved closer and closer to where Jonghyun wanted him the most. Insecurities? What insecurities? All Jonghyun felt as Jinki edged closer and closer was a deep and pure need. Everything went silent as Jinki removed his lips from the thighs of the man below him. Jonghyun bit his lip, awaiting Jinki's next move which he would soon find to be extremely frustrating. Jinki licked up Jonghyun's fully erect dick, slowly and teasingly from base to tip. He gave the tip kitten licks and skilfully sucked on only the head, making Jonghyun's sounds whinier.

"Jinki, please." Jinki needed not hear more to give the other what he wanted. He moved his mouth up and down Jonghyun's length using his tongue in all the right ways. Immediately choked sounds began to slip from Jonghyun’s mouth as he left this world and entered Jinki’s with eagerness. It was over his head how to get out of there but that was not a worry as he doubted he would ever need to.

Jonghyun found, with the little experience had with girls, that Jinki was eyes-rollingly, lip-bitingly good at this. Jinki did him better than any girl ever had. A series of uncontrollable moans reached Jinki's ears and made him move even faster. Jonghyun began thrusting upwards making Jinki gag, surprised by the sudden action. Jinki quickened the pace nevertheless and Jonghyun felt his high coming exceptionally quick.

"Jinki." This was enough for Jinki to understand. He grabbed tighter onto Jonghyun's thigh and felt Jonghyun twitch as he reached the edge. The next fifteen seconds consisted of Jonghyun almost ripping Jinki's hair out in pleasure, Jinki ignoring it to keep the pleasure coming and Jonghyun moaning loudly, a couple of times slipping in the name of the man between his legs.

Jonghyun's orgasm died down and he completely collapsed on the bedsheets. Jinki swallowed and wiped off his wet lips with the back of his hand. He crawled up to kiss Jonghyun's forehead that had beads of sweat rolling down from it. Jonghyun pulled down Jinki's face so he could put his lips on Jinki's again. He tasted himself on his tongue and only now could he really wrap his head around what had just happened. With his lips plastered onto Jinki’s, he held him close as if to express his gratitude that he found hard to do with words. What would he even say? Thank you? Jonghyun broke the kiss when his thigh brushed against Jinki's bulge and the perfect display of gratitude made its appearance. With willing eyes, he stared into Jinki’s.

"Should I..." Jonghyun awkwardly trailed off. He knew he was the inexperience of the two, especially after the magic Jinki had just worked on him. It made him nervous. He was afraid to screw up, but he was curious and he was drawn to Jinki. He wanted Jinki to feel the same pleasure that he had brought to Jonghyun.

"You don't have to... Have you ever done something like this with a boy before?" Jinki asked, caressing the younger's faintly blushed cheek. He shook his head. "You do seem to look a little nervous. You don't have to," Jinki reassured him with a warm smile.

"But I kind of want to." Jonghyun avoided Jinki's gaze. "I just don't know how... Or I do, of course. I'm just not sure I'll be any good at it." Jinki chuckled and kissed his lips once again.

"If you want to do it I can guide you all you need." Jonghyun's eyes met Jinki's again curiously. He whispered an “okay” and wiped the sweat off his forehead. Jinki smiled down at him, finding the sudden awkwardness so cute considering how seductive he had bragged about being. Jonghyun sat himself up and Jinki followed.

"Want me to lead you?" He smiled at shy, naked Jonghyun in front of him. He nodded, thinking to himself that he wanted to impress Jinki the next time and be a lot more confident. He wanted to show him that he actually was as seductive as he had made himself seem in the kitchen moments earlier.

"You go above me," Jinki instructed and sat up against the wall as Jonghyun moved above him. Jinki took off his trousers and Jonghyun sat for a second, wondering blatantly about the size of Jinki’s dick. Jonghyun bit his lip and curiously hooked a finger in Jinki's boxers and pulled them down. He had expected big from the bulge he had seen but still managed to gulp audibly as Jinki’s dick slapped up against his stomach. He looked into Jinki's eyes and Jinki looked back into his calmly. "You okay?" He caressed the younger's cheek with genuine care and concern.

"You're big." Jonghyun gulped again. Jinki chuckled and gave Jonghyun a sweet kiss. As he broke it to speak he stayed forehead to forehead with him.

"Don’t hesitate to stop at any time." Jinki kissed his lips once more before leaning his back against the wall again. Jonghyun decided to kiss up Jinki's thighs. This seemed to please Jinki, judging by the low groans erupting from his throat. Jonghyun moved upwards, giving Jinki's balls a squeeze before moving on to his dick. He licked up and down it a couple of times, following the vein, getting a feel of the size. As his mouth took in the top he looked up at Jinki, who moaned at the intensity of the eye contact. Jonghyun's mouth left Jinki's dick so he could purse his lips, getting ready to take as much of Jinki as he could.

"Fuck Jonghyun," Jinki moaned out at Jonghyun's sudden move. Jonghyun gagged as he took in almost all of Jinki. Jinki's hands landed in Jonghyun's hair and he looked down at Jonghyun who was deeply concentrated on going fast and making Jinki feel good. What he couldn't take in he was jerking off with one hand, the other supporting his weight on the mattress.

Soon the already spent Jonghyun slowed down, getting tired and cramped from the quick movements. He disappointedly neglected Jinki’s dick with an unintended pop and looked up at him apologetically, feeling embarrassed.

"Too spent?" Jinki smiled. Jonghyun nodded with a blush.

"Fuck me instead," Jonghyun mumbled and Jinki couldn't catch what he had said.

"What?" Jinki asked, unaware of the request he had just gotten from the inexperienced boy sitting in front of him.

"Fuck me instead," Jonghyun repeated, this time just loud enough for Jinki to hear. He was looking down at his fingers, conscious of how naked they both were. Jinki stared at him, surprised by the idea.

"You sure? It'll hurt and it might take some time." Jonghyun just nodded his head. Jinki brought his hand to Jonghyun's chin, pulling it up so their eyes met. "If you want me to I can. I'll be gentle."

"Please." Jonghyun bit his lip, relaxing a bit more, looking into Jinki's eyes. There was something about him that could calm down Jonghyun and make him feel safe. Jinki encouraged him to stay put as he got up to look around in his drawers.

“I could have sworn I had some lube somewhere.” He shuffles around some more until he finds what he has been looking for and bring it back with him.

With gentle hands, Jinki guided Jonghyun onto his stomach and prompted his bum up slightly. Jonghyun bit the pillow as Jinki worked a finger inside after a series of licks that had hardened his untouched dick. It didn't hurt for long as he felt himself relax around Jinki's finger. Jinki took his time with this process and made it as pleasurable for Jonghyun as it could possibly be by hitting the spot he had sensed made Jonghyun move against Jinki’s fingers.

Once Jinki slid all three fingers out of Jonghyun, he sat back against the wall whilst guiding Jonghyun on top of him. “This way you can have some control. I don’t want to fuck up.” Jinki shows a sign of his own nerves for the first time but now Jonghyun’s have all been overshadowed by want and he simply nods before muttering something about a condom.

With a hand remaining on Jonghyun’s hip, he grabbed a condom from somewhere and slid it onto his achingly hard dick. “Tell me if it’s too much.” Jonghyun nodded hastily again as Jinki worked out how to position Jonghyun just right.

As much as Jonghyun groaned with the pain of the stretch, he also moaned at the tinge of pleasure that is there somewhere if he were to squint hard enough. They sat there for a moment where their eyes met tenderly and Jinki brought a hand up to caress Jonghyun’s cheek. “Kiss me,” Jonghyun whispered and Jinki followed his command.

It didn't take long before Jonghyun couldn't wait any longer so with the worst pain gone he began to move. With his two hands, Jinki grabbed Jonghyun’s hips and helped his movements. They were slow, to begin with, and, sure enough, the pleasure soon overshadowed the pain before completely taking over. As they found a perfect pace, they found themselves completely melting into each other in any way possible. Jinki’s hands stayed helpfully on Jonghyun’s hips while Jonghyun’s hands roamed everywhere he could get them.

Jonghyun found that he adored the concentration on Jinki’s face as he worked to make Jonghyun feel amazing and brushing over the spot that made Jonghyun see stars. The concentration was mixed messily in with sounds and eye rolls of pleasure and Jonghyun absorbed every single movement and expression. Like a personal Eros, Jonghyun felt Jinki had become. There was no doubt that Jinki looked like a god right now. Beads of sweat dripping down his naked body, neck veins pumping and head thrown back against the wall in pleasure. Jonghyun couldn't help but speak up at this moment, somehow managing to get words out in between heavy moans.

"You're a fucking god." Jinki's lips turned upwards into a wild grin before he began to meet Jonghyun’s bouncing with his own thrusts. The sudden action caused a loud moan and a hand ripping at his hair. Nothing was able to distract him from Jinki at this moment. The whole building had to burn down with them before he would stop this moment. He felt his orgasm rapidly approaching and Jinki sensed this by the immediate change in the volume and intensity of Jonghyun’s previously softer moans. He grabbed Jonghyun's dick, matching his pumping with his thrusts. Jonghyun dug his nails into Jinki's back as he was pushed over the edge in a way he had never known to be or even thought possible.

As Jonghyun was a moaning mess beneath Jinki, screaming louder than anyone Jinki had ever dealt with, Jinki came at the increased pressure around his dick. He rode out his high with Jonghyun leaning against him completely absorbed of energy before every sound and movement came to a complete standstill. Their heavy breathing was the only sound in the room and their sticky chests rising and falling, the only movement. Jinki felt Jonghyun’s breathing against his collarbone and his sweaty forehead against his shoulder. As gently as he could, Jinki brought his hands up to rub circles on Jonghyun’s lower back.

"Thank you, Jinki," Jonghyun breathed out as he finally found the strength to lift his upper body.

“No problem,” Jinki mumbled and slowly started thinking practically as he pulled Jonghyun off his now flaccid dick to which they both winced. While Jonghyun laid himself down on his bed, he pulled off the condom and threw it in the bin before looking back and forth between his own stomach and Jonghyun’s. “Wet wipes,” he mutters to himself and leaves the room for less than ten seconds (Jonghyun may have counted) with a bag of wet wipes. Attentively, Jinki cleans Jonghyun’s stomach up first before wiping the same mess off his own skin.

Mumbling all kinds of praises, Jonghyun closed his eyes in exhaustion. Jinki managed to drag a tired smile out of him as he was pulling his duvet over the more or less sleeping boy. He watched as Jonghyun reached after him, whining at the lack of Jinki in his arms. His eyes remained closed and Jinki found himself staring in pure awe at this Jonghyun; tired and needy. For the entirety of the few hours he had known him, he had seen this part of Jonghyun that was seemingly not there from afar. Counting himself lucky for getting to experience the magic up close, Jinki laid down next to Jonghyun and wrapped his arms lovingly around him.

"I didn't think I could fall in love this quickly." Jonghyun responded to this with a hum and a lazy kiss to Jinki's jaw before he fell asleep completely in Jinki's arms, safe and satisfied.

"Jonghyun, Jinki's at the door!" Kibum yelled, making Jonghyun rush out of the kitchen to the front door. Taemin and Minho followed, curious to see why Jinki had come by unannounced. Soon enough, Jinki stepped out of the elevator with a painting in his hands.

"I finished your painting," Jinki blurted out before even a hi. His excitement amused Jonghyun who walked over to Jinki to kiss him on the cheek.

"Let me see, then." Jonghyun's eyes shone with anticipation as Jinki turned the canvas around, revealing the portrait of Jonghyun. Jinki smiled proudly at Jonghyun "There's just nothing you're not good at is there?" Jonghyun asked in awe. His friends, who still stood on the doorstep to their flat, tried to look past Jonghyun to see the supposedly great painting.

"Move out of the way Jong," Kibum commanded and Jonghyun did so, proudly looking up at Jinki.

"Wow it's prettier than Jong in real life," Taemin commented, stepping closer to look at it.

"Wow thank you, Tae.” The bitterness in his words was completely ignored by Taemin as he moved in closer to the painting. Jinki chuckled at his boyfriend who he found to be a masterpiece as he was standing in his pyjamas, arms crossed, looking annoyed at Taemin. He shook his head and grabbed the painting out of Jinki's hands. He carefully placed it up against the wall and grabbed Jinki's face. "I love you, Lee Jinki." He brought him in for a heartfelt kiss and felt his arms wrap around his waist. This was picture perfect. This was exactly what true love was. This was all the two of them needed.

"I love you too, puppy-eyed Kim Jonghyun."


	2. Onkey - Where Do We Go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just casual romance  
> Wordcount: 3,1K

"Just the usual," Kibum said as he pulled out his laptop from his bag. Jinki nodded, restraining his huge smile that threatened to show. He turned on his heel and let his lip twitch slightly upwards for a short moment only. He made Kibum his usual Americano and placed his usual cheese scone on a plate.

"Here you are." Jinki placed the plate and the cup next to Kibum's computer. This time Kibum turned his head and looked into Jinki's eyes as he spoke.

"Thank you Jinki. It's been longer than usual." He smiled up at Jinki, who allowed himself to smile back without a second's thought.

"I've been away to visit family. It's good to see you again." Jinki politely bowed his head and left Kibum to his writing. He sighed as the sharp yet sweet smell that belonged to Kibum disappeared as he did another spin on his heel, returning to his work.

Jinki knew that Kibum would stay until closing time. He always did. It was 5:23 when Jinki brought him his last cup of coffee. The couple by the window left at 5:26. Jinki finished at 5:28. Kibum looked up to realise what time it was at 5:29. He turned around to see Jinki undo the knot on his apron, downed the last bit of coffee and walked to the counter with his empty mug at 5:30.

"I didn't even notice it was closing time," he excused. Jinki grabbed the mug to wash it.

"No problem. You know better than anyone that I'm lucky if everyone's gone at 5:30." Jinki placed the mug back on the shelf into the mess of colours as bright as Jinki himself.

"True. And I'm a blessing to be in the same room as anyways." Kibum meant this as a joke, but they both knew that, to some extent, he was serious.

"You're so full of yourself, Kim Kibum," Jinki chuckled and picked up his jacket and backpack from under the desk. Kibum opened his mouth to reply with another of his endless sassy remarks when Jinki spoke up. "Now... Follow me home and I'll cook you a delicious dinner. You must be poor with all that new designer clothes you spend your money on," Jinki teased, walking towards the door. Kibum gathered his stuff and followed quickly.

"Says the guy who tells me the number of caps he owns is larger than the number of words in my first book." Kibum scoffed, throwing his shoulder bag on. "But I never say no to free food. I must admit that as a young, unknown writer I am not the richest."

"I must treat you more often then." Jinki held the door for Kibum and they walked the few streets to Jinki's flat. Kibum and Jinki had only spoken once before outside of the café when they bumped into each other at the supermarket about four months back. It was strange for Kibum to be entering Jinki's home. He took note of this feeling, thinking it could be used in a story of his. The whole flirty atmosphere between the two made ideas pop up into Kibum's head that he prayed not to forget before he had put them down on paper. Jinki lived on the highest floor, so the elevator ride was long and awkward. Kibum looked down at his soft hands and then over to Jinki's dry ones. He wondered if it was laziness, forgetfulness or the many times he had his hands under the water of the sink in the café. Jinki had his eyes closed the whole ride up. He didn't know where to look and he felt his body starting to tell him that it needed a break. A nap maybe. The elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open with a squeak of a midlife crisis that Kibum believed it was well into. He scrunched up his nose for a short moment out of sass and habit.

Inside the flat, Kibum followed Jinki into the kitchen. Here he pushed himself up on one of the counters. Jinki's place was furnished just how Kibum had expected. It was calm, cosy and bright but unorganised. Only because Kibum kept his flat perfectly organised did he notice this because, really, it wasn't that bad.

"It's been one hell of a long day," Jinki sighed, leaning back on a counter across from Kibum. Before Kibum could reply to this, Jinki had proceeded to pull off his t-shirt. He sighed again, this time of relief. He curled it up in his hands, looking back up at Kibum who subtly gulped.

"Must have been. You worked the whole day by yourself," Kibum proceeded the conversation as casually as he could manage. Jinki's smile was small but telling. Kibum knew that Jinki was aware of why his cheeks had turned a sweet shade of pink.

"I'll just go change my shirt," Jinki smiled. Kibum nodded. As he walked out of the kitchen Kibum couldn't help but look at his back. He bit his lip.

"Low key wanna rip his trousers off too," he mumbled to himself when he was sure Jinki was out of range. He was surprised to find that fluffy Jinki from the café was actually very fit. Even if he wasn't, Kibum would still have been as flustered as he was now. It was not so much the muscle as it was Jinki himself. Kibum realised something, sitting alone in Jinki's kitchen. His breath hitched and he rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Why now?" He felt a familiar warmth spread throughout his body. He greeted the feeling like a long lost friend, embracing it because he knew there was nothing much he could do about it. He liked to think rationally like that. "Long time no see," he sighed as he felt the neediness kick in. He wanted Jinki back in the room. Kibum sat begging this wouldn't change his behaviour towards Jinki. He wanted nothing less in this world than to become soft.

"Let's see what we've got." Jinki came back into the kitchen, smiling. Kibum smiled back at the, once again, fluffy man in an oversized sweater. "I'm experimenting with Italian lately. I'll make a pasta dish if that's fine with you."

"That sounds nice," Kibum nodded. "What can I help with?" He rubbed his hands awkwardly together.

"No need. I'll do it. You just relax right there where you look so good." Jinki's smile showed no signs of embarrassment after such a statement. It was sweet and complimenting. Kibum looked down at his thighs, flattered and speechless.

_What a man._

"Thank you Jinki." Jinki smiled one last time at him before turning around to open the fridge.

Jinki began cooking as Kibum stared at him. He took out his notebook that he always had close by. He wrote down small things that he noticed about Jinki. _Strong looking hands, slightly wavy hair, cute bum._ As he wrote this he felt the warmth in his cheeks return.

"So other than working at the café, what do you do?" Kibum curiously asked, wanting to hear his soothing voice speak only to him once again.

"Just the normal stuff. I hang with my friends and I listen to music... I like to sing when I'm all by myself." There was nothing special about the things Jinki mentioned and yet Kibum seemed to think there was for the mere reason that it was Jinki doing them. Kibum wished he was one of those things. "What about you, writer Kim Kibum? Do you do anything other than writing all day?" Kibum could tell that Jinki was smiling.

"More or less the same. Friends, music, reading." Jinki hummed in response. "I like to sing when I'm by myself. It's somewhat therapeutic, much like writing." Kibum pushed up his thin glasses.

"I agree. It's a beautiful thing, singing alone. It makes it so much less boring to live by yourself. I've never disliked being alone but the hours can easily grow a little long." Jinki turned around to get something in a cupboard next to Kibum.

"I definitely enjoy the alone time but I'd like a roommate," Kibum said and Jinki closed the cupboard, pausing to look at Kibum for a second. He looked dead serious.

"Even if it meant you couldn't sing as much?" He cracked a smile and even a small chuckle.

"Even so," Kibum laughed. Pinching his own thigh as he felt Jinki's smile make him go soft again. His face had been quite close to Kibum's which made it even worse. "Your smile is very hard not to love." The confession kept Jinki's eyes locked with Kibum's. He smiled again.

"I get that a lot but not the way you said it." He broke the eye contact and turned his back to Kibum again, letting the statement drop like an apple from a tree, waiting to be picked back up. Kibum, who couldn't stand the unanswered questions, did just that.

"How did I say it?" He asked curiously, nervously, afraid to be exposed.

"I'm not sure. I guess it felt, to me, like you meant it more than other people do. I feel flattered." Jinki smiled to himself, feeling his cheeks flush. This was the best feeling he knew. The way another person could make him softer than he already was. He lived for that feeling and Kibum delivered it to him like no one else.

"You should because it's probably true. I could write a whole book based on your smile. I'd call it something really cheesy like 'the story of the sunshine boy' or something." Kibum let a chuckle follow his strange compliment.

"I'd read that. It already sounds good. You should write that down in your notepad," Jinki laughed the softest, sweetest laugh Kibum had heard in a good while. He did as Jinki suggested and wrote 'sunshine boy – the story of Lee Jinki's angelic smile' down on a page for itself.

"It's noted," Kibum informed. "I'm gonna snoop around your house now. If I have to write a book about you I have to gather further information." Jinki laughed it off as Kibum left the kitchen.

Inside the living room, Kibum took a careful look around. He sat down in a big chair in the corner looking at the homey living room. A good mix of modern and vintage that matched nicely together. There looked to be a couple of gaming consoles by the TV; something that Kibum had always found intriguing but never enough to actually buy one. His gaze moved to a picture on the wall of Jinki with his parents. They came from time to time down at the café and Kibum had even been introduced to them once. A meeting that he still found awkward enough to cringe over. He stood up from the chair in search for the bedroom.

His bedroom was bright, much like Jinki himself. Pictures and cut-outs filled the walls with colours. Kibum sat down on the bed, feeling the sheets that Jinki was tangled in every night. Kibum's mind could not help but imagine the waiter sleeping in another one of his oversized t-shirts with messy hair and slow breathing. Kibum couldn't help but take a quick look in Jinki's closet, not finding much other than clothes neatly folded on shelves.

"You really are snooping." Kibum shut the closet door in surprise and panic. He was met with the angelic grin of a proud Jinki, having just caught the cute writer looking through his clothes.

"I am," Kibum said, regaining his sassy persona from the embarrassing blow he had just received. He brought a hand up, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, again losing his element of sass. Jinki did nothing but stare and grin at Kibum, who wasn't sure what to say next.

"How do you like my room?" Jinki leant his back on the wall by the door, looking around his own room with a look of satisfaction in his eyes and a smile to match.

"If I was put in this room without any context whatsoever I would most likely guess that it was yours." Kibum's words triggered a chuckle from Jinki.

"I'm going to assume that it's a good thing judging by your facial expression," Jinki pointed to Kibum, who wasn't smiling but his eyes were glowing with fascination. Kibum became aware of this and awkwardly shifted his gaze to Jinki. "You're not the only good observer here, writer Kim Kibum." He pushed himself off the wall. "Pasta is cooking. Give me five more minutes and it's ready."

"That was quick."

"It's an easy dish," Jinki shrugged his shoulders, leaving Kibum alone in the room again. Soon enough Kibum found himself looking at Jinki's backside from the kitchen counter. Jinki finished the dish and ordered Kibum over to the small table in the opposite end of the kitchen. He brought them both a plate and a fork.

"Wow Jinki," Kibum moaned as he swallowed. Jinki lit up, happy to hear that Kibum liked it.

"Want a beer with that?" Kibum nodded, eyes widening, showing his eagerness. Jinki stood up and brought back two beers from the fridge. "I wasn't sure if it was smart... Inviting you over." Jinki let the bottle touch his pink lips.

"Why so?" Kibum's heart had jumped to his throat at the change of tone in Jinki's sugar sweet voice. There was something a little too exciting about the calm seriousness that Jinki could step into from time to time.

"I wasn't sure if I wanted to feel." There was a deafening silence. The writer knew exactly what this meant, having spent most of his teenage years writing cliché teenage love stories with a dorky twist. The sentence was all too familiar and he felt his heart jump. "I realise, especially for a writer, that it might sound cliché but it's the best way to express it." As if Jinki had read Kibum's mind he broke the silence with these words.

"I wasn't sure if I did... Feel," Kibum replied, thinking about the warm hand lying on the table. He could so effortlessly pick it up and hold it in his own but he didn't know how to because life wasn't a book. Yet here they were saying cliché lines to each other, repeating a story that had happened before, not only in books but in real life too. This felt special, cliché or not. It felt special to the two young men in the kitchen quietly sipping on their beers, both unsure.

"I put my hand on the table because I hoped maybe you'd get the courage to pick it up since I didn't really." Once again it was Jinki breaking the silence. Kibum didn't reply, instead, he brought his hand up to the table. His fingertips brushing against Jinki's before he eased his fingers in between Jinki's. "Thank you, Kibum." Jinki stared down at their hands as he spoke. Kibum stared at Jinki's lips. They looked adorable, smiling down at their hands. He so badly wanted to touch them with his own. They looked as soft and squishy as the pillows lying on Jinki's bed. Jinki felt the eyes on him and he looked up to find them glowing with fascination. "Stare at me like that more often," Jinki chuckled, relaxing himself, or maybe it was Kibum's stare that did it. Jinki wasn't sure.

"Smile at me like that more often," Kibum replied in a dazed state. He was unable to take his eyes off Jinki's lips. "Your lips look delicious," Kibum confessed. Jinki felt instant consciousness over what his lips were doing. He took a bit of his food thinking it would make Kibum look away but it didn't. He wasn't sure if he wanted it that way or not. He found that he definitely did when Kibum snapped out of his trance and proceeded to eat. None of them commented on the handholding nor the last comment that was still surrounding the two, creating a certain mood that they were both unfamiliar with.

"I think..." Jinki started, feeling his heart start to beat a lot faster as he spoke up. "I think I'm feeling that way you do when you fall in love for the first time but it's worse."

"Keep talking," Kibum commanded, closing his eyes. Instead of doing as he was told, Jinki took this chance to stand up, making Kibum open his eyes again as he felt the tug on his hand. Kibum stood up, following Jinki into the bedroom. Their fingers stayed entwined. "What did you take me here for?" Kibum asked, not sure what to expect from the sunshine boy in front of him, who had for once gone serious.

"I just want to kiss and sleep. Will you do that with me?" Kibum nodded his head and a smile spread across his face. Everything somehow fell into place. He chuckled and Jinki furrowed his eyebrows.

"What a Jinki request." He felt a calmness wash over him. This spread to Jinki whose smile soon returned much to the pleasure of Kibum. The two of them got ready for bed, Kibum looking fluffier than ever in one of Jinki's t-shirts. It reached down to mid-thigh, making Jinki giggle. Before throwing themselves on Jinki's bed they remembered to put the plates in the sink. They didn't have time to wash them. The two had found a more important matter to attend to: Kissing.

In the bed they landed, lying on their backs with their heads tilted so they could stare into each other's eyes. Jinki's hand went to Kibum's hair. None of them had ever had a kiss this planned before and yet it felt the most casual because it just fit. The kiss deepened and Kibum reached out to hold Jinki's cheek in his hand. Their lips moved well together, Jinki's tongue working on Kibum's, making butterflies appear in his stomach and his mind go blank. Jinki pulled away only to smile at Kibum, who was drunk off Jinki's lips.

"Do you work tomorrow?" Kibum's hand stayed on Jinki's cheek, caressing it lovingly. He shook his head. "Make me stay tomorrow when I say I should get going." Jinki's hand caressed the soft skin on Kibum's arm. He pecked Kibum's lips. Kibum smiled and threw his head into the curve of Jinki's neck, nuzzling himself closer. Jinki chuckled at the smile he had caught a glimpse of on Kibum's face.

"Stay like that," Jinki mumbled. He brought one leg over both of Kibum's and Kibum slid one leg in between Jinki's to get close and comfortable.

"Lee Jinki, the sunshine waiter." Kibum kissed Jinki's jaw.

"Kim Kibum, the sassy writer." Jinki kissed Kibum's hair.


	3. Ontae - Light Me Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figuring out love, brief smut and (very) light angst  
> Word count: 4,5K

My hand hesitated on the doorbell. He was my best, and only, option. I heard the ring coming from inside the house as I pressed in on the small button. My heart beat fast, unsure of the reaction I would be met with. It was hard to tell with Jinki, but I knew I was very obviously obsessed with him. I knew that he rolled his eyes at me on a daily basis. I knew he called me clingy to his friends. I knew he only really found good use of me when he needed a light for his cigarette. I knew I was just some stupid kid chasing him around, but I couldn't help it. I had no one and I was drawn to Jinki. I wanted him. Being as alone as I was, I didn't hide that fact.

A pair of eyes met my own as the door had swung open. He wore his usual jeans and a zipper hoodie over a t-shirt with a print of an alarm clock showing the time 4:20 on it. Only one thing was different from his normal appearance. He wore a pair of thin, round glasses. They were large and dorky. It almost made me smile but I held it in, knowing that he would most likely send me away if I had any sort of reaction to them.

"You?" Jinki looked confused at me, standing by his door at twelve past midnight on a Wednesday with a backpack thrown over one shoulder, a busted lip and a temple so blue that there was no hiding the fact that I had been socked not more than an hour ago.

"Uhm... Sorry. I- I was thrown out. I don't know where to go and I thought maybe... But." I looked down at my old converse. They were torn and dusty. I looked up at the sound of a sigh leaving Jinki's mouth. He stepped to the side, gesturing for me to come inside and closed the door behind me. The familiar scent of Jinki's favourite cigarettes hit me. I stood in place, afraid to get thrown out for doing something wrong. I cautiously looked around at the small room, having only seen his flat from the outside. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah just come on inside." He walked further into the living room and I followed. There was a small kitchen in one corner of the room and only two doors.

"Bathroom's through there if you need it. That's my room but you have no business in there." I nodded as I looked around his small flat. It was a lot tidier than I had expected. There was a small mess here and there but nothing major. He slouched himself back down on his sofa where I imagined he had been sitting before I disturbed him. "Your parents did that?" He asked, pointing to my bruised face.

"Well, as you've seen they aren't exactly gentle with me." I gulped, remembering the time they had walked past as I lit a cigarette for Jinki. Their reactions hadn't been pretty. I remembered Jinki's face as I was dragged away by the head, being scolded for smoking with the older boys. It had probably just been my tattooed heart playing tricks on my fogged up mind, but I was certain I saw a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"You gonna stand there all night?" I shook my head, walking over to the sofa, placing my backpack next to me. "Your parents aren't fucking around with those hits. Your lip's fucked."

"It's not exactly done out of love." He ignored my salty comment and leant forward to give it a closer look. He wasn't much closer than my arm could reach and yet my heart skipped a couple of beats from the intensity of which he stared.

"Since you're here I might as well get you some ice or that ain't gonna be looking pretty tomorrow." He stood up and walked over to his freezer, leaving me in a state of shock. Not once had I experienced the caring side of Jinki, heck, I didn't know there was one. He came back with ice stuffed in a worn kitchen towel. I looked at his stretched out hand that held the towel. It took me a moment before I had gathered myself enough to take it from him.

"Th- thank you." I placed it on my lip and flinched in pain. "Fuck." This caused Jinki to chuckle.

"You might be a pain in the ass but you don't deserve a beating like that." I looked up at him, standing tall in front of me.

"I don't?"

"Well Taemin, listen here." He sat down on the coffee table and leant forward with his elbows on his knees, hands folded in front of him. "Not once did you take a cig even if I offered you one. Not once did you speak to us rudely, no matter what we called you. Not once did you do anything we asked you to if it meant that someone else would be hurt by it. You don't do anything just to look cool. You're a good boy Taemin." He raised his eyebrows at me before standing back up, walking over to his window. "Got a light?" He popped a cigarette between his lips. I hurried up from the sofa, finding the lighter in my pocket. I brought it up to the end of Jinki's cigarette and watched closely as he sucked in. He opened the window and leant on the edge. I did the same, giving my lip a break from the ice.

"I can't remember how many lighters I've bought for you." I played with the blue see-through lighter before placing it back in my pocket. I was sure Jinki was used to my staring as he placed the cigarette between his lips and sucked in. He let the smoke into his lungs and back out through his nose. I loved the way his eyes would flutter as he welcomed the nicotine into his body.

"You're killing me slowly. I appreciate it." He smiled to himself, still aware of my intense stare. I wondered if he ever thought about it anymore or if it had become one of those things that just is but you never really pay attention to it until someone makes you aware of it, like breathing; something I had found very hard to do before I met Jinki.

"I could say the same to you." Jinki turned his head, raising his eyebrows. "It's not like it's news. I've been obsessed with you for a long time."

"But saying I'm killing you slowly is implying that I'm either doing something that's making you go crazy or that you want more from me than what I'm giving you." He tapped his cigarette twice making the ashes disappear out in the darkness. "Am I killing you slowly?" He pushed up his glasses and I knew I had a new obsession. That one movement made a shiver go down my spine. I resisted the urge to reach out and touch his face.

"You make it sound so simple. In my head, it's really not."

"Your head is special, Taemin." He dropped the cigarette out the window and closed it. "Did they feed you before they fucked up your pretty face and kicked you out?" I shook my head. "I don't have much at the moment, but I'll have a look."

"You've never been this nice to me before."

"You've never asked for my help before." I didn't say a word as I followed him to the kitchen. He opened his fridge, scanning the shelves. "Or rather begged," he sent me a joking look. It wasn't mocking like it usually was. His smile was so kind. My heart grew warmer, something no one else had achieved to make me feel in a long time. I leant up against his kitchen counter, smiling back at him. "Ham and cheese sandwich?" I nodded. "Always a safe choice." My eyes never left him as he made me the standard broke student sandwich. His hair wasn't that long but once in a while, he'd have to reach up to move it out of his eyes. He was a prince in my eyes, not the traditional kind but his own kind of prince, one I liked better than any of the ones in the fairy tales.

"To me... You're like that moment in Donnie Darko, where Frank takes off his bunny head and he looks like a prince. Even if he's been creepy the whole movie and his one eye is a gunshot wound, it's like you see the charming parts of him... I think you're my Frank." He let my strange thought hang for a moment. Jinki looked at me with an empty expression as he took in what I had said.

"Frank rules Donnie, he controls him. Donnie might not always do as Frank says, but he always listens. He's not a prince, he's just a boy in control." Jinki's argument deflated mine like my point had meant nothing. I looked down at my hands, feeling a low sense of panic take over me. Had he deliberately ignored the fact that I called him my prince?

"That's because you don't see yourself as a prince," I mumbled. "But I do." Jinki put the sandwiches into his microwave and turned his head towards me, looking down. I got nervous wondering what he was thinking. I had never told him what he was to me like this. I had no idea what kind of reaction I'd be getting from him. I had a feeling that he didn't either. I felt the panic kick in again and my palms felt suddenly sweaty. I had had panic attacks before and I was constantly afraid that it would happen again. There hadn't even been any triggers, although Jinki was almost one in himself.

"A prince huh?" There was a calmness to his voice that made me relax as much as I could, being in the situation I was in next to Lee Jinki, whose lips I had imagined on mine thousands of times. "Thank you, Taemin. Thank you for seeing me that way." I spotted a small smile that only lasted until the ding of the microwave broke the comfortable silence. He handed me one sandwich and took the other one for himself. He pushed himself up on the kitchen counter and I followed. We sat in silence, devouring our sandwiches.

His reactions were strange today, different. His attitude was always harder when we were in the company of anyone, that mainly being his friends; but my company had never seemed this relieving to him, like a beer at the end of a long day. I wasn't sure if I believed that myself. I yawned as a sudden wave of exhaustion hit me.

"You tired?" I hummed, leaning my head on the cupboard door behind me. As I closed my eyes I heard a small chuckle coming from Jinki. I heard the thump of his feet making contact with the wooden floor. "I'll get a mattress. The sofa is back killer. You're injured enough already." I smiled to myself when I heard him leave the room. I opened my eyes and jumped down from the kitchen counter to grab my bag. "Come in here." I hesitated as I walked into the room that he had earlier told me I had no business in. "This is all I have." He pointed to a mattress lying close to his bed.

"It's just fine. It's luxurious compared to the park." He chuckled at my sad attempt at a sad joke. "So do I just sleep in here?" Jinki looked at me, a blank expression on his face.

"That's okay, right?" He asked as if I had any sort of say in this, as if I may not have wanted to sleep in the same room as Lee Jinki.

"Of course. No problem at all." I dumped my backpack down next to the mattress. Ten minutes later I was lying in my underwear and t-shirt under a few blankets, listening to Jinki's breathing.

"You can stay here for as long as you need." Jinki's voice broke through the darkness. I clenched the blankets to contain a sudden smaller euphoric rush. I heard sheets ruffle and his face appeared, peeking down at me. "Just wanted to... Look at you?" I felt my cheeks get warm and I hoped to god that it was too dark for him to tell. "Are you warm enough?" My mind was overwhelmed as I had never imagined Jinki to care as much as he did now. I had no idea how to respond to him, even with simple questions like these. I hummed, unsure if I would be able to form a full sentence. "Tell me more about how you see me." He got comfortable on the edge of his bed.

"I... I guess this is kind of obvious, but I care a lot about you. You saved me. I was on my own. I still am, but less, a lot less. I'm alright now, which is a lot more than I could ever have said before I met you." I paused for a moment. "Why do you let me follow you around? It can't just be the endless supply of lighters." I listened to the sweet sound of Jinki's chuckle.

"I know what it's like." He sighed. "I know what it's like being beaten up for nothing. I know what it's like to... I know. I know." His face disappeared from my view and I stared up at the white ceiling, speechless as I was still processing the words flying around the room before my mind.

"I," was all I mustered to get out.

"That feeling... A silent cry for help. I could tell you were like me from the first time I saw you. All the signs were there. You kept adjusting your shirt, most likely trying to cover marks on your body. You asked for help without asking for anything. You just wanted the company. I'm glad you chose me."

"I don't think I had much of a say in it. My heart basically did a couple of flips and my feet took me to you before my brain had the chance to follow." Jinki's chuckle returned, making me smile. "So many things I haven't said to you."

"I'm glad you got to tell me some of it... I hope- you should tell me more later. I want to say something now." There was a short pause. I saw his face again. I felt his hands pulling my shirt to get me to sit up. I did as told. He gestured for me to come sit on his bed. I did as told. He turned on the small light next to his bed, lighting up both of our faces just enough. "Now. You. You make me feel things that I'm unsure how to explain but they're strong enough to make me embarrassed to speak of them to my friends. When I look, well stare at you, it's like what you described before. My whole body knows but my mind doesn't. I can't let you go. It's not about the lighters, it's about you." He took my left hand and played around with my fingers, fixating his stare on that. "I don't know what kind of confession this is, but maybe you do." He glanced up at me before looking back down at our hands. They were basically entwined by now but I think he was telling himself otherwise.

"If I try something now, that will most likely give you somewhat of a clue of what you're feeling will you promise not to throw me out or get mad?" He nodded slowly, suspecting what I might be up to. I shuffled a little closer awkwardly, my left hand still in his grip. I awkwardly placed my right hand on his shoulder, removing it again quickly. Instead, I leant in, not too slowly, and let my lips collide with his. His whole body stiffened. I continued, finding it hard not to. I kept myself from flinching at the slight pain in my still swollen lower lip. My right hand found its place, cupping his face. My thumb gently caressed his cheek as I moved my lips lightly against his. I didn't dare to stick my tongue out. I had no idea what was going on, with eyes closed and a still frozen Jinki on my lips. I moved away slowly, fearing I had made a bad decision. Jinki grabbed my arm, making me stop all movement.

"Do it over." I furrowed my eyebrows and he gave me a very familiar look that I knew meant 'just do as I say'. I skipped the awkward hand on his shoulder and placed my hand on his jaw, caressing his cheek as I leant in and tenderly placed my lips on his one more time. This time I didn't get a pair of stiff lips in return. My lips were met with a pair of soft, slightly wet, lips that responded immediately to my touch. His mouth opened just enough to make the kiss a little wetter. His hands tightened their grip on mine. He soon let one go to pull at my hips making me come closer. He pulled until I was sat on his lap, close as I could get, lips still attached in a mess gone even deeper. Somewhere in the midst of the pulling and moving he had slipped in his tongue, making it dance skilfully around the walls of my mouth. We continued until we had to stop for air, earning a low groan from Jinki and a sigh from me, who suddenly became very conscious of where I was sitting. My heart beat even faster than before. I wondered how that was possible as Jinki's eyes slowly met mine and pushed the thought away, replacing it with a million questions and urges.

"I'll figure this out by tomorrow," Jinki told me, dazed by the longer snogging session we had just participated in. I nodded, moving off his lap and down onto the mattress on the floor. I moved myself up on my side and made my back face Jinki's bed. I took a deep breath, wrapping my head around the state of utter bliss I had just exited. I heard Jinki sheets ruffle. I felt an arm wrap around my waist and a body press itself onto mine. I felt his breath on my neck. "I think I figured it out." I leant into his touch and put my hand on his. I smiled, enjoying the feeling of his breath on my neck.

I woke up, still in Jinki's arms. The ringing from Jinki's phone made us both groan. School. That wasn't a factor we had taken into account when we went to sleep at a quarter to fucking late at night.

"I'm down for ditching if you are," Jinki mumbled in his deep morning voice. He snuggled me closer and I couldn't quite resist the urge to stay in his arms rather than going out into the cold weather of the early spring only to fall asleep during first-period biology. I flipped myself over and buried my face in his chest. This was enough of a response for Jinki. "This is not just a one-night thing by the way. I won't suddenly go back to normal as soon as we're around other people. I know I'm the kind to do that, but I won't."

"Thank you."

"Stop saying thank you, Taemin."

"Then stop being nice... Or actually, don't do that." Jinki smiled and caressed my hair lovingly. "That's nice too."

"I want to know everything you find nice."

I examined the smaller collection of books he had in his living room. I tilted my head to read the titles. I recognised the three Harry Potter books as the first, the third and a damaged paperback version of the sixth. I read aloud the titles as I went through them. Around halfway through the first row, I felt Jinki's chin on my shoulder. I felt him open his mouth to say something when we heard a knock on the door followed by a ring of the doorbell.

"Why the fuck aren't you answering your texts? Are you hungover you fuck?" I froze at the sound of Kibum's annoyed voice and Minho's laugh from the other side of the door. I heard Jonghyun's voice, unable to make out what he was saying.

"I'm not hungover, I just skipped today."

"Why didn't you answer our texts?"

"I've been busy." Jinki pressed his hand gently on my stomach so my back was pushed up against him. His touch enabled me to breathe again. I held his arm tightly.

"With what?"

"Uhm..." His eyes met mine. I stared back, unsure as to what to respond to his look of doubt. "Taemin," he responded loudly and clearly enough for them all to hear. I kept my eyes locked with his as his stare turned from doubt to worry. "Are you okay?" He almost spoke in a whisper to prevent his friends outside his front door from hearing.

"Taemin? Did you make him do some shit for you or something?"

"No I- one second." Jinki left my side, walking hastily towards the door. My heart beat fast as I heard the lock go. The creaking of the door made my breath hitch in my throat. The first to spot me was Minho. He didn't look surprised. It seemed from his sigh that he had expected this. Jonghyun, on the other hand, looked to me then to Minho before he slapped his arm and pointed. Minho just nodded. Kibum eyes widened. Instead of keeping his attention on me his eyes shot back to Jinki.

"What is he doing here?" Jinki sighed, stepping aside for his three friends to come in. I stayed in place, holding onto the fabric of my shirt tightly, a poor substitute for Jinki's loving arm. They walked to the sofa, sitting down. Jinki walked back to me. He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Is it okay if I tell them," Jinki spoke only to me. I nodded with a gulp. Jinki turned to his friends, keeping his hand firmly on my shoulder. "Taemin was thrown out of his house with nothing but a backpack and a couple of bruises and he came knocking on my door last night. I let him stay here because he has nowhere else to go. He's gonna be staying here for a while." I looked down at my hands to avoid any possible eye contact with the three boys sitting on the sofa. "He's a good kid. I like him a lot." I shot my head up to look at Jinki. He sent me a blinding smile. I returned it with my own careful one. Minho stood up from his place on Jinki's sofa and walked over to me.

"I don't think I ever really greeted you properly." He reached out a hand. I bet I looked as baffled as I felt during Minho's rugged and steady handshake. "Sorry that it took me so long." He sent me a knowing look that I wasn't quite sure what to place as. He put his hands back in his pockets and walked back to the sofa.

"So he's your friend now or?" Jonghyun had a look of confusion on his face.

"I guess he's always been my friend." He looked at me, who was already looking right at him. "I guess it just became... More than that now." Jinki sent me a knowing smile that I brightly returned, forgetting the world around me for the short moment. It was a little too easy for me to get lost in him. Kibum's eyes narrowed.

"More than what? How?" He looked suspicious, probably knowing his friend enough to be aware that the smile he had just sent me wasn't something he just let anybody see. It was a smile made for the ones he loved, one way or another. "You're..." Kibum realised his suspicion was true when he spotted Jinki's hand creeping around Taemin's waist.

"I know it's... Not expected. I didn't either. I'm not necessarily into guys... I'm just into Taemin." I couldn't help but crack a smile, looking down at my feet as I felt the blush spread on my cheeks. "I hope you don't see me in a different light now." Jinki's voice showed a hint of concern as he took a step forward towards his friends. All three of them stood up, all speaking their own words of promise and friendship. I kept still in the spot I had been in since their arrival. Minho looked over to me and stepped over as Jonghyun and Kibum continued reassuring Jinki that they still cared for him.

"We're not as tough as we seem. I'd say we're all a bunch of wusses here. You'll fit in just great," he joked and I laughed nervously, still finding him somewhat intimidating. "Sorry if we've given you a hard time."

"It's all good. I'm just glad you put up with me being around all the time. I couldn't help myself... Jinki just..." I wasn't sure how to express myself to Minho but his smile told me he had understood the meaning of my unfinished sentence. Minho turned to the others.

"Let's leave these two lovebirds alone. I bet they have lots to do," he winked. Jonghyun giggled and Kibum cringed but followed up with a small smile. They walked towards the door, waving goodbye to the both of us. The door shut behind them and Jinki turned back to me, chuckling.

"Well, that's them behind closed doors."

"I never thought- I- What?" Jinki continued chuckling as he watched my astounded expression.

"I don't think I've ever properly called someone beautiful before... But I think I'm about to." I giggled, avoiding his gaze as he walked towards me. "Look at me." My eyes met his. "You're beautiful." Jinki put his hand on my hip, pulling me closer once again. I grabbed his arm as he brought his lips to mine, kissing me with so much emotion that it sent a rush from my lips all the way to my toes. I let out a small gasp. He didn't take much notice of this as he pressed his lips harder on mine. His grip on my hip tightened. The energy I had just received seemed to be packed inside of him as well. He pushed me gently up against his book collection and cupped my bum. I bit his lip at the new feeling he gave me. One that went straight to my most private parts. It didn't take long for him to realise this and I soon found myself holding onto the shelves behind me in pleasure with Jinki on his knees, his mouth working wonders on me. I came, shaking and moaning his name so I was sure the whole building could hear. As he stood up, eyes meeting mine, I noticed the bright spark in his eye. Lee Jinki never failed to revive me like electricity to the heart.

"My turn next, but first... Got a light?"


	4. Onho - To Be Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fantasy/fluff  
> Wordcount: 4,2K

 

Minho trembled with curiosity as he watched Jinki walking down the road alone. The outskirts of Seoul were deserted this late at night, which gave Jinki some well needed time to breathe. What he hadn't sensed was Minho's presence. Minho followed after his classmate, curious as to why Jinki had gone this far from town. Was it, like in Minho's case, to be alone?

"Those bastards. If only I could have- if only I was allowed to- urgh." Minho watched as Jinki angrily kicked a stone, wondering who had pissed him off to this extent. Jinki stopped in the middle of the road, Minho settling behind the stone wall, keeping as quiet as he possibly could. Jinki reached his hand out in the direction of the stone he had just kicked. Much to Minho's surprise, the stone reacted. His eyes widened and his he threw his hand over his mouth as the stone seemed to be following Jinki's commands. Minho wasn't one to believe in anything supernatural or out of the ordinary but seeing this in front of his own two eyes was evidence enough to make him believe that Jinki possessed some kind of magic. What made him certain was Jinki clenching his hand into a fist, crushing the stone that was hanging in the air until that moment. Minho gasped as the completely powdered stone rained down onto the road. He fell backwards a few centimetres. Apparently, this was a few centimetres too much seeing as he landed his bum hard on the pavement. Jinki shot his head towards the spot Minho sat in, now nursing his bum from the hit.

"Who's there?" Jinki's voice was stern and with a hint of panic. "Just come out or I'll come over." Minho considered this for a couple of seconds before he decided that doing as Jinki said was better than pissing him off further.

"It's just me," Minho laughed nervously at the startled Jinki. He was still in a cramping pain from the fall.

"Fuck," Jinki mumbled to himself, pressing a forced smile onto his face. "Minho-yah... You saw that?" Minho was tempted to play dumbfounded but decided to be honest, thinking it would enable him to find some answers as to what he had just seen Jinki do. He nodded as he stepped forward. "Shit, I thought I was alone." Minho watched as Jinki panicked. "Minho." Both of them stood frozen on the empty road. "You can't tell anyone. Promise me to keep this a secret. It's bad enough already that you saw."

"I won't say a word to anyone," Minho smiled, saluting to Jinki, which caused him to crack a smile for only a short moment. "Tell me more about this, though." Minho needed his curious mind to be enlightened.

"It's best if you don't know more than you already do." They began walking back towards town.

"Please, I promise not to let anyone know. Please," Minho pouted. Jinki sighed. "I'll blackmail you if you don't say yes!" Jinki raised an eyebrow at the pure, uncorrupt eyes of Minho with doubt that there was any substance to those words.

"You wouldn't blackmail anyone..." Minho cracked a good boy smile.

"Probably not, but won't you tell me? If you don't, I'll... Follow you around until you do." Minho was satisfied with this, sealing the promise with a firm, confident nod. Jinki looked up at Minho with a mild look, which threw him off.

"Why don't we do something fun then?" Jinki grabbed a hold of Minho's arm and he knew he had lost. Minho would get it out of him one way or another. It had been nothing more than the innocent look in the tall boy's eyes that reassured him of this. Jinki was wondering and he also knew that he couldn't help it. They walked with thrilled steps the bus that took them back into the city.

Jinki was not planning on taking Minho anywhere busy and, sure enough, Minho was surprised to find himself on the balcony of Jinki's flat. Minho got the feeling that Jinki spent most of his time out there, seeing as there were already pillows and blankets overflowing the small balcony. Hidden between fluffy pillows were books and an empty mug here and there that Jinki hastily removed for Minho's comfort. There were fairy lights decorating the metal bars that protected them from the long fall to the hard ground below.

They sat down on the balcony that they had tiptoed inside to get to. Jinki had family visiting, all fast asleep at the late hour. Jinki knew they would kill him if he woke them up. They would anyway when they found out that Jinki had let someone see him do magic, but he'd like to at least stay alive one more night with the sweetness that Minho's shining eyes provided him.

The two didn't mind the silence that had existed from the moment Jinki unlocked the front door to the moment they sat opposite each other in the warm summer breeze on the small balcony.

"I basically live out here. I tend to fall asleep here, sometimes on purpose, sometimes not." The softness of Jinki's chuckle made Minho feel welcomed into Jinki's favourite, most private space. "Don't you have a place like this? Somewhere that's yours."

"I like to think of the streets as mine when I walk them alone late at night. That's why I wasn't back in the city. The fewer people, the more of it is mine." A night breeze delicately tangled itself in Jinki's hair and watched it's own doing with fascination as it played around with his messy hair. Jinki smiled at Minho, showing off his crooked teeth. "I like this place too... It's like there's a magical feeling about it, excuse the bad pun." Jinki's smile turned into a quiet laugh.

"Nice one."

"Not to be pushy, but my curiosity is killing me. Can you tell me more about magic?" Minho didn't need to ask twice because Jinki felt something that made him remember what his mother had once told him.

_"There might come a day when you meet someone, and somehow, unexplainably, you'll want to tell them everything. You'll want to bring them into this world. There won't be a moment of doubt in your mind that you can trust them... That person will not only make you a better wizard, but also a better person and a happier person. Tell them everything, but only them. Let them carry the secret with you till the very end."_

"Okay... But if you tell anyone..." Jinki pointed a finger at Minho, making him jump and nod hastily. "I was born into a family of magic, well my mother is a witch. My father is like you... We call you norms, he used to be anyway. Now he knows a few basic spells but nothing like my mother... She's the best I've ever seen." Minho saw the spark of passion and admiration in his eyes.

"So, in theory, I could learn magic too?" Jinki nodded.

"Only if you become part of a family of magic through love. I can hook you up with my little sister if you're interested," Jinki joked, making Minho take his eyes off Jinki as he chuckled half-heartedly. "My parents would love someone like you. They always say I'm too expecting, whatever that means." Jinki searched for Minho's eyes, quickly getting what he wanted. Minho even let him have a small smile.

"Why would they like me?" Minho asked, the statement very much awakening his curiosity.

"You're so intuitive and unknowing... And by that I don't mean that you're stupid, I mean that you let yourself be taught instead of making assumptions. You also have such a curiosity for everything, which I guess I also have but not the way you do." Minho's smile grew wide and his eyes bright. Jinki's stretched out his leg, causing it to brush lightly against Minho's. "Wanna try something cool?" Minho eagerly nodded and Jinki gestured for him to come closer.

"What is it?"

"You'll see..." Jinki smiled smugly. "Give me your hand." Jinki moved up on his knees behind Minho and grabbed Minho's hand. Minho subconsciously leant a little backwards, towards Jinki. "Let your fingers follow mine, let them lean into mine." Minho nodded, his eyes concentrating on their hands moving together. Jinki pointed his hand towards the desk drawer inside his room, that he knew contained a stack of paper. As Jinki made it slowly open, Minho gasped in surprise as he felt the magic in his fingers. The drawer opened and out flew a piece of paper, slowly coming towards them. As Minho took in everything with fascination, Jinki grabbed his other hand and aimed it for the pencil lying on his desk. He moved the paper up against the window, the pencil anxiously floated around in front of it. Minho stared in anticipation as the pencil, that Jinki had turned yellow just to show off, drew on the blank piece of paper. Jinki drew yellow pedals on the piece of paper.

"Anemone..." Minho spoke the word so quietly that Jinki only just caught it. The pencil dropped together with their right hands. Jinki folded his left hand around Minho's, crumbling the piece of paper. This caused a displeased noise to erupt from Minho.

"Just wait," Jinki whispered close to Minho's ears, shutting him up. The paper spun around a couple of times before it began taking the form of a real anemone and soon it became one. It came closer to them and Jinki let it into Minho's grip before he let go. "It's for you," Jinki smiled a satisfied smile at the amazed boy sitting in front of him, staring at the flower. "I can do much more than that I just thought this was cute," Jinki spoke to make up for having silenced Minho completely.

"Thank you, Lee Jinki." He looked up at Jinki, who was beaming down at him. Jinki sat back down, making room for Minho to sit next to him. "Why an anemone?" Minho asked as he got comfortable next to Jinki.

"My father told me that he was given an anemone just like this from my mother the day she told him the truth about her... Skills. He told me that it was her way of thanking him for the way he had reacted, which was with a big smile and an open mind." Jinki rested his chin on his knees to avoid looking into Minho's eyes. "I'm glad you're the one who saw me."

"I can't say I don't agree." Minho studied his flower very thoroughly.

They fell asleep on the balcony an hour later and both woke up in the morning, confused and flustered as there was a hard knock on Jinki's locked bedroom door.

"It's 11 am kiddo, how long were you out for last night?" Jinki shot up, staring at the door, then at Minho, then back at the door.

"Yeah, I'll be right out." Minho looked suddenly nervous as he realised the situation. "My whole family has woken up so, um, they have to meet you. There's no way around it I'm afraid." Jinki scratched the back of his neck. Minho just nodded, taking a deep breath. The flower had been mushed in his hand from having kept it there all night. He held onto the flower still. Jinki unlocked the door and Minho followed close behind him.

"There you are you nightcrawler." Jinki's sister locked eyes with Jinki.

"Yeah, I'm here... Um, family..." Everyone looked at him. "This is Minho. Say hi." He grabbed Minho by his sleeve and pulled him into view. The dishes washing themselves fell down in the sink and the whole room went quiet.

"Jinki are you crazy?" His aunt asked him. He looked at his mother, who was smiling back at him and then to his father, who was doing the same. His sister looked at their parents and realised what they had seen. She turned her head to look at Minho's hand. She just barely contained her excitement as Jinki's eyes met hers.

"No... Well yeah... No... Just hear me out, okay?" They nodded, a few sighs audible around the room. "Minho caught me doing magic yesterday... I thought there was no one around. It was reckless, I know, but that's not the point. The point is that he won't tell anyone but he basically knows everything now."

"Oh dear lord."

"What if the ministry finds out?"

His mother's smile turned into a chuckle. His father rolled his eyes with a kind smile. His sister sent him a thumbs up and raised her eyebrows.

"Should we erase his memory?"

"For god sakes no. Would you take a look at what's in the boy's hand." Jinki's mother shut everyone up with her bright chuckle. Their eyes all met the yellow flower sitting in Minho's hand. "Give my son some credit you faithless bunch." Jinki's parents both stepped forward to hug their son and shake hands with Minho, not saying too much because they could tell from the look in Jinki's eyes that the two boys hadn't figured it all out yet.

"Good to meet you." Jinki could tell that Minho was both confused, nervous and in complete awe of the situation. Jinki decided that he should probably get him out of here to allow the poor boy to breathe for a bit. His parents seemed to agree.

"You two go put your shoes on and take a walk. I'll make you both a sandwich you can eat on the way," Jinki's father smiled warmly. Minho noticed how familiar his smile was.

"Yah, stop staring." Jinki gave his relatives an annoyed look before grabbing Minho's wrist, taking him to the front door. "Sorry about that." Minho smiled reassuringly at Jinki, who seemed to relax a bit at the smile. The two left as soon as they had received their breakfast neatly wrapped in baking paper. They looked for a place to be alone and ended up inside a park by a small lake. The trees made their spot more exclusive and just perfect for the two.

"Your dad's sandwich was good."

"My mum might be great at doing magic, but my dad is the cook in this family." Jinki lay his head down in the grass and Minho followed suit.

"I'm quite an alright cook too."

"Good, cause I'm not," Jinki chuckled. "I guess it's a wizard thing."

"Must be," Minho chuckled and bit his lip, which didn't go unnoticed by Jinki. "Don't worry, I'll whip you up some dishes so good you'll think I'm the one with magical powers."

"I can't wait." Jinki rolled onto his side, enabling him to comfortably stare at Minho. His eyes were open, staring at the leaves of the tree above him. His cheeks had a rosy feel to them and his lips were parted slightly. He took a deeper breath before he turned his head, his eyes very close to the ones above him. They were looking down at him with so much emotion he almost had to look away to process, but he kept his eyes glued to Jinki's.

"You look like you're having an inner monologue about whether to kiss me or not." Minho's joke didn't feel like one to either of them.

"Are you sure you aren't one of those creepy mind-reading wizards?" Minho's expression grew serious and Jinki took the pause in conversation to bring his lips down to Minho's, pecking them. Minho's hand went up to his lips as Jinki smiled proudly down at him.

"W- wh-"

"When I met you yesterday, something happened to me that made me trust you more or less instantly. I knew from the moment I grabbed your wrist, that I would end up telling you everything. That's a thing we, in our world, call the love spell. It's not a spell, but something unexplainable that seems to happen to some wizards and witches. It's like love at first sight, but then again not really. It's hard for me to explain but, I guess, I'm trying to say that you're probably my soul mate without making it sound creepy or forward."

"Oh my..." He took a deep breath and Jinki felt his heart begin to race. "I guess I can live with that," he nodded. "I have been experiencing strong anxiety over the thought of being separated from you since I stepped onto your balcony... I think I might be feeling some of that soul mateness."

"Don't feel pressured by this love spell thing, for all I know It might not even be true. I might have just fallen for a norm."

"Oh stop." Minho pushed Jinki's shoulder so he fell back into the grass. Minho moved closer to Jinki and pecked his lips, making Jinki's crooked teeth come back on full display. "Don't shoot down the love spell. I'm pretty sure it's legit."

"Minho I love you... I'm sorry, but I love you." Minho laughed loudly and threw his arms around Jinki, whose face had scrunched up in confusion.

"Jinki you are a nut. Don't be sorry. I love you too. I don't know how many kisses it'll take before you understand that." He pulled away, locking eyes with Jinki once again. "Should I try again? Maybe a little longer? Or with more force?" He laughed again, Jinki joining him this time.

"Give me all of them. Don't leave a single one out."

Their lips met again, softly and cautiously moving together. Jinki put a hand on Minho's hip and clutched to that as his heart began to pound. Minho's lips were soft against Jinki's pulp, thick and fluffy ones. They explored each other's mouths with caution, figuring each other out, seeking reactions.

It took the boys no time to find out everything about each other. When they weren't stuck on each other's mouths they would be sitting on Jinki's balcony talking for hours. Every school day became significantly more interesting when Minho turned his head to look over at Jinki on the other side of the classroom. The secret glances managed to go unnoticed by everyone but the two.

"Take me out. I have the house to myself and I don't want to be alone," Minho demanded over the phone.

"I'll pick you up in 15."

Jinki was ringing Minho's doorbell 10 minutes later after shouting a goodbye to his parents and more or less running all the way to Minho's door. Minho ran down into Jinki's arms.

"Hey you," Jinki chuckled. Minho kissed Jinki's cheek before grabbing his hand and pulling him down the street.

"There's something I want to know." Minho pulled at Jinki's sleeve with curiosity. Jinki hummed for him to continue. "Is there a dark side?"

"There are good and bad people everywhere but we don't have a Voldemort if that is what you mean." Jinki laughed loudly, finding the concept quite amusing.

"What do bad wizards and witches do then?"

"The same thing as yours just with the help of magic."

"Do you have killing spells and such?"

"Well, yes, but not many master them. They are very complicated and are not certified by the government. Only people with a very special license can use them and only as a last resort. If a witch or a wizard were to stop a criminal, they would use disarming and paralysing spells." Minho listened intently to every word Jinki spoke. There was nothing he found more interesting than the world Jinki lived in, with the exception of Jinki himself of course. As they turned a corner and Minho's mouth was about to open once more, Jinki stiffened.

"What's wrong?" Minho noticed Jinki's discomfort instantly.

"We have to walk the opposite direction right now." Minho looked back as he was pulled away with Jinki. A group of people their age seemed to be looking right at him with mean eyes. "They're my bullies so to speak. They know magic and I'm certain they would find it very funny that I'm in love with a norm who also happens to be a guy. We don't want them after us right now. They won't do anything too harmful but I can't be careful enough, at least until you know some defending spells."

"O-okay," Minho stuttered, startled from the situation. Jinki gave him an apologetic look. "I think they saw us... They stared at me as we turned the corner." Minho felt a slight fear creeping up inside of him.

"Then we better go." Jinki took Minho's hand in his and walked back to Minho's flat. It was easy for Minho to feel how tense his boyfriend had become and sat him down on his living room sofa. He made them hot chocolate and spent the next few minutes relaxing him with sugar sweet kisses and endless 'I love you's. Jinki fell into Minho's touch, making them both smile.

"I would give up my magic to stay in your arms." Minho chuckled, feeling Jinki lay the dominance on Minho for once. Jinki's head pressed into Minho's chest and used one hand to draw circles on his arm, the other was wrapped firmly around him. Minho held Jinki tightly, rocking him back and forth slowly.

"Those bullies ain't got nothing on us." Minho's remark made Jinki laugh up at his boyfriend. "As soon as I'm taught some magic, I'll be better at magic than you in no time. They won't know what's coming." Jinki scoffed, punching Minho's arm.

"In what world would you ever get better than me at magic?"

"Just you wait and see," Minho teased, pointing a finger at Jinki jokingly with a concentrated face, whirling it around as if he was attempting a spell.

"What are you trying to achieve by that you noob." Minho gave him a dark stare, making Jinki move up from Minho and walk a few steps backwards, his cheeky grin not leaving his face. Before he knew it Minho was chasing him around the living room. Whiny screams and joyful laughter came from the two and soon Jinki was wrapped in Minho's arms, being tortured with tickles until he found it hard to breathe.

"You know I can beat you any day even without magic," Minho smirked down at Jinki in satisfaction and Jinki narrowed his eyes.

"Sadly, you're kinda right about that," Jinki scrunched up his nose. "Could you make me another cup of hot chocolate sweet, strong boyfriend?" Minho chuckled deeply as he grabbed their cups and left the room. Jinki followed.

"Hey, those guys... Were they the people you were cursing over the night I saw you do magic?" Jinki responded with a hum, bringing the milk to Minho. "What did they do to make you so furious that day?"

"You know in Harry Potter how they call norms, well muggles, who learn magic mudbloods?" Jinki's eyes darkened.

"Oh dear," Minho commented with a saddened expression. He had an idea where Jinki was going with this.

"We have a similar thing. They make fun of me for having a norm for a dad... I get so mad. He's one of the best people you could come across. I can't bear their mocking laughter." His fists clenched. "And now... Now I have you and I don't want them to find out because I'm afraid of what they might do. They would never challenge my dad... He's a grown up... But you don't even know a single spell yet. I'm worried... I..." Minho approached Jinki with gentle steps. He wrapped his strong arms around Jinki's body that was slightly trembling. Jinki nuzzled his face into Minho's chest, allowing his boyfriend to comfort him.

"It's gonna be okay. It's not like they'll kill me, and they sure as hell won't be able to scare me away" Minho felt the smile that spread onto Jinki's face against his chest. Minho's words were always so comforting. It never took long for Jinki to feel at ease just being in his presence. Jinki was positive that they would be able to take on the world just the two of them at this rate.

With a shared look between the two, Minho brought Jinki's lips to his own. He grabbed Jinki's hips and pushed their bodies even closer. Jinki's was pushed back against the counter and he felt Minho's warm tongue come into contact with his bottom lip. They parted for access. There was something different about this kiss and they both knew it. It was bolder, stronger, braver. In fifteen minutes' time, Jinki was taking off his boxer shorts, throwing them across the room with Minho underneath him, biting his lip. Jinki had never had sex before but was fully convinced that Minho must have been the best in the business, as he would cheesily refer to it as afterwards, draped in sweat and absorbed in Minho's big brown eyes. Despite calling Jinki a nutter and bashing his arm softly, Minho was certain that Jinki was all he'd ever need to survive. They could make it through anything together.


	5. Jongyu - Lonely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably my proudest work.  
> Angsty loneliness - based on Jinki's station mv for Lullaby and Jonghyun's mv for Lonely.  
> Word count: 2,5K

He realises that the silence has become his only friend. The only one left he can trust to stay with him from the moment he wakes up in a bed that used to be occupied by slow, heavy breathing next to him, to the moment he goes back to sleep, sometimes on the sofa when the silence seems to laugh at him upstairs. Most of their quality time is spent looking out at the blue abyss from his big window. He often finds himself toying with the thought of letting it swallow him. The thought, to him, is beautiful. It is hypnotising to watch the waves hit the sand and retract back into the ocean. Sometimes he sits there reading. This is usually the reason he finds longing waltz arrogantly through the front door, accompanying the silence.

He looks up from his book about a lost boy and plays with the strings on his morning robe, that has recently become his favourite thing to wear. He looks out of the window and spots a figure that is facing the ocean. He becomes aware of the while it has been since he has last seen someone in the sand, or anywhere near his house for that matter. He is aware that people are a rare sight here at this time of year. There is nothing he wants more at this moment than to go out there and speak to him but his worst enemies, fear and doubt, have settled in front of the door, blocking the way. Instead, he watches as the man stops and stares out at the ocean like he too has spent so many hours doing. The man walks back the way he came and disappears out of view. He steps away from the window, finding his person faintly reflected in the glass.

"Lee Jinki," he sighs and turns away.

Every day he sits on his windowsill, watching the man look out at the ocean and walk back. He counts the days by the black marks on the man's arm. By the time of the 27th mark, the man, in his white and blue button down and light blue jeans, enters the blue abyss, that seems to have gone untouched for a while. It must have been hungry because the man keeps walking, still fully clothed, further into the cold ocean. He feeds it.

The book about the lost boy is left behind on the windowsill and the door is left open as Jinki pushes aside the two guards, who have shrunk to nothing. He runs into the ocean after the man whose last strand of hair has entered the mouth of the blue abyss and will soon be chewed and swallowed. Jinki is running as fast as his body can manage. He reaches out for the man underwater, spotting his dark hair just below the surface. Jinki carries him up on the beach.

"Can you hear me?" Jinki grabs his wrist in panic, feeling a still beating pulse. He does everything he remembers of basic first aid. There is no breathing so Jinki wastes no time before pressing his hands down on the young man's chest. He has only counted to seven when his body jerks and water escapes his lungs through the mouth. Once again Jinki is quick and puts his arms under the man, carrying him inside his house and laying him down on his sofa. He takes a few steps back from him. He becomes aware of the weeks (months) it has been since he has last had someone inside his house.

Jinki feels how the bravery seeps out of every crack of the house, kindly shown out by the doormen who have grown giant again as he finds himself afraid of losing a person he has no relation to. This feeling only grows stronger as the man opens his eyes and looks up at the frantic Jinki.

"Are you cold?" Jinki certainly is and he is sure that the blue lips on the boy are a sign of the same.

"Yes." His voice is shaky but it has been a long time since Jinki last has had someone speak to him. It nearly makes him jump. "V-very cold." He stumbles over his own words and shivers, goose bumps visible on his bare arms. Jinki helps him upstairs to his bathroom where he sits him down on the closed toilet lid and wraps a towel around him.

"I'll get you some dry clothes. Stay right here." Jinki rushes away from the hopeless puppy eyes that stare up at him and into his closet, looking for his comfiest robe. He finds his softest one, the brown one, and grabs a pair of underwear and a t-shirt. He brings it back to the man, sitting just as before on the toilet, staring at the door. "I'm back. Take these. You can change in here. Just give your wet clothes to me when you've finished. I'll put them somewhere to dry." Jinki receives a disoriented nod and leaves to change out of his own wet morning robe.

He leaves the dry robe untied, playing with the strings as he waits in the hall across from the door to the bathroom. Jinki looks up as the door opens and their eyes meet once again.

"Uhm, thank you," the man speaks up. His quiet voice tells Jinki that he is just as nervous as himself, if not more. There is an insecurity to his voice that Jinki recognises from his own mind.

"It's no problem. Let me take your clothes. I'm Lee Jinki." He leads the boy back down the stairs and into the kitchen, where he lets his name slip from his lips with such a fragility that it takes Jinki a few seconds to process the words 'Kim Jonghyun'.

He puts the clothes to dry by the big window.

"Do you want anything to drink, Jonghyun?" He sits him down on a chair by the wooden table. His nervous eyes look up at Jinki and he nods his head. Only now does Jinki spot the dark lines underneath each eye. He looks drained. A state that isn't unfamiliar to Jinki. He smiles shortly at Jonghyun before boiling water for tea.

"I did it on purpose," Jonghyun speaks up. His voice is as fragile as before but shows a certain kind of courage.

"I guessed, cause I... I saw you here every day. I don't have a lot to do other than sitting on my windowsill," Jinki laughs scornfully at himself. Jonghyun's face gives away that he hears the pain, the cry for help behind the cold laugh.

"You thought about it too then?" Jinki pours the boiling water over the tea in the pot and brings it to the table. He answers Jonghyun with a nod and next to the pot he places two teacups that he has inherited from his grandparents. Jinki's palms are clammy as he holds his teacup tightly.

"I'm alone most of the time, so I find my mind wandering some pretty dark paths." Jonghyun's nod gives Jinki a feeling of mutual understanding. A warm feeling builds itself up inside of him, competing with the silence that is attacked by the many words that leave Jinki's mouth.

"Why is it that you're able to hate life so much that you want to stop it, end it?"

"If you ask me life is a neutral thing. It's not life itself that makes you sad or happy, but all the little things and the big things that affect it. Some are born into a life of happiness and love and some are born lonely. Life is not a constant because it is neutral. It changes as the world around you does, as you do. I think the only way out of our misery is to change, but that's hard to do when you have little to no motivation." Jonghyun stares up at Jinki as he shares his thoughts. Jinki's words seem obvious to himself and he is surprised to see the look of fascination in Jonghyun's eyes.

"I guess I knew that, but I never quite thought of it like that." He looks down at the teacup, tracing the golden edge with his thumb. Other than his moving thumb Jonghyun sits still as a statue. "I..." Jonghyun trails off, shutting his mouth again.

"You what?" Jinki is desperate for conversation, for a human to be speaking directly to him. The silence hates that but the silence has always been a bad friend anyway. There is no need to let it occupy the kitchen.

"I really missed talking." Jonghyun's eyes are glossy, almost teary. "To someone other than myself," he adds with a chuckle of relief and pity.

"It would be really nice if you stayed for a bit." Jinki lets slip what he's been thinking about ever since their eyes first met. Jonghyun's words have made him brave.

Jonghyun's smile is beautifully melancholic.

There's no answer but Jinki knows what Jonghyun is thinking because they both know the silence all too well and they both wish they didn't. So they sit and let the silence creep back over them, but the silence has turned kind in the meantime and Jinki wonders if it is because of Jonghyun's smile.

It's mean to presume that Jonghyun needs to stay. It's mean to presume that he isn't just too exhausted to get up. Jonghyun turns his head because he doesn't want to smile at mean people.

"Do you live close by?" Jonghyun downs the last bit of tea left in the old cup. He stares down at the grains of tea at the bottom. He looks for shapes because his mother had believed in tea reading and Jonghyun has begun to believe that anything can speak in desperate times. He answers with a simple yes. "So you live here all year too?" Jinki sighs. He's lost a battle because his opponent is doing worse than himself. Jinki doesn't think this is fair.

"Yes, I do. It's quiet in the winter but I'm used to that by now."

"Why do you think people leave us? Are we that bad?" Jinki fights the deceiving silence that has returned, cold, too cold, colder than he's ever felt it before. Maybe it is a breeze but the windows are closed. It is the silence.

"We're that sad. No one wants a self-sulking, sad friend." He gives the silence room to reply. It laughs. "When it pains you to be around people because they look so happy, laughing with friends or holding hands with their partners. That's sad enough to make you unwanted. If you can't even be around people how do you expect them to be around you?"

"You find someone like yourself." Jinki's voice is as shaky as Jonghyun's has been before it grew cold and hard like the silence. Jonghyun looks up at the tears that are forming in Jinki's eyes. They're hurt by the expectations that got too high, by the sliver of hope that opened only to close itself again.

It's mean to presume that Jonghyun wants to stay. It's mean to presume that he isn't just too exhausted to get up. Jonghyun turns his head because he doesn't want to pity mean people.

Jinki spills tea on the wooden table between them. Jinki doesn't look at it because it's mean to turn the other cheek when someone is screaming for help. Jinki doesn't look at it because it's mean not to pity mean people, who aren't really mean.

It's mean not to notice.

Jonghyun starts to see ugly faces in the spilt tea. He looks away because he has begun to believe that anything can speak in desperate times. He looks up at Jinki because he has begun to believe that anyone can tell that these are desperate times.

"I'm just too exhausted to get up." Jinki sees through the lie right into Jonghyun's foggy mind. Jonghyun isn't sure if he is trying to convince Jinki or himself. It seems irrelevant to even have opened his mouth.

"I've been too exhausted for a long time now." Jinki tries; but Jonghyun is complicated; but Jinki reads him like an open book and Jonghyun is irritated.

Jinki desires to see Jonghyun's too skinny cheeks rise into a smile, but Jonghyun's smile isn't for anyone. Jonghyun's smile is not even for himself. Jonghyun's smile got lost somewhere in the silence and now he can't find it. Jinki found it once or twice, but that was not his own, that was a borrowed smile... Right?

_...Right._

The angel on Jonghyun's shoulder is laughing. It's taunting him... It's not an angel, though. Jonghyun was born with a devil on each shoulder, one disguised as the good, the other as the silence. Jinki was born without any angels or devils. Jinki was born, raised, picked up and left alone. His parents call sometimes. His parents call and they ask him if he has enough money.

 _Yes, I'm fine._   ~~(a lie.)~~ _Great, we'll see you soon._ (a lie.)

Isn't it mean not to notice?

Jonghyun presses play on the paused scene. He releases the teacup from his cursed grip and lets it brush against Jinki's cheek where the tears sting his sugary skin. They sting Jonghyun harder because Jonghyun doesn't believe in them until they force him to feel the pain that they brought, the pain that he brought. Jonghyun doesn't let his hand fall. Jonghyun deserves the pain. The angel that is a devil tells him to enjoy the pain. The devil that is the silence tells him to take his hand away. The silence is a bad friend; it has always been.

"There's so much pain here."

"It was worse before you came."

Jonghyun stays.

Jonghyun stays because the pain eased when Jinki's eyes expressed warmth towards him. Jonghyun stays because it's nice to be exhausted when there's someone to take care of you. Jonghyun stays because it's mean not to notice. Jonghyun stays because Jinki needs to be noticed. Jonghyun stays because they both need to be noticed.

The book about the lost boy is put back on the shelf.

It does not take long for them to realise that Jonghyun is in no need of the lonely house down the road. His boxes fill the living room and his presence fills the silence.

Jinki shuts the front door, the last box being set down on the floor. With their backs to the front door, they find each other's gaze through the mirror opposite them. Jinki's face brightens in a way he forgot it could. Jonghyun smiles. Jonghyun has begun to believe that Jinki found his smile for him somewhere in the silence.

"Lee Jinki," Jonghyun mutters with his eyes glued to the clear reflection of him in the mirror.

And then Jonghyun puts his lips on Jinki's because his smile looks sweet and Jonghyun is curious about the taste. Jonghyun tastes mornings in bed on Jinki's lips. Jonghyun tastes tea and cake in the kitchen, sunlight from the window, sand and saltwater, lost boys lost together.

The silence smiles at its two best friends. The silence departs silently. There's a note on the fridge for the new silence. 'treat them well', it says.


	6. 2Min - Lost and Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff & growing up + brief smut  
> Wordcount: 2,5K

_“The irony of feeling small when I am over six feet tall had you sold on me.”_

_Bry “Your Life Over Mine”_

They’re lost. They’re lost in the forest and Minho is doing his best to calm his worried boyfriend because little boys worry and big boys apparently kiss their foreheads and reassure them of a solution.

“Minho.” Taemin starts to cry. Minho closes his eyes for a second to gather himself. “Minho,” Taemin repeats with tears rolling from his eyes and down his beautiful cheeks, flustered from the panicked situation. “We’re lost.”

“Calm down baby. Calm down Tae.” Minho has him in a strong embrace, caressing his hair lovingly. Taemin sobs into Minho’s chest. “Relax. There’s an edge to the forest. We’ll get out. Besides, it’s good to get lost sometimes.” Taemin calms down in the arms of his caring boyfriend. The heat radiating from him gives a certain feeling of security.

“I’m scared,” Taemin’s voice is shaky.

“We’ll find a way out.”

“It’s not that… It’s the bugs Minho.” Minho laughs. He can’t help it. He laughs as his boyfriend is crying in his arms. He laughs, but he laughs warmly. He laughs in a way that makes Taemin feel not only annoyed but safe too. He can’t help but smile against the soft fabric of Minho’s shirt. Minho runs his hand down Taemin’s spine. The little boy is reassured and the big boy is ready to get him a solution.

Minho grabs a tight hold of Taemin’s hand and they walk. It doesn’t take long for Taemin’s worn feet to make him speak up.

“How long has it been, Minho?”

“We’ve been out here for somewhere between two and three hours.” Minho doesn’t want to know the exact number. Even he has started to worry but he shuts up about it because big boys keep their cool when the little boys can’t. “Are you tired?” Taemin nods. They stop. “We should sit for a second.” Minho sits in the dirt between twigs and fallen leaves. Taemin hesitates for a moment before placing himself between Minho’s two legs, his back against Minho’s hard chest, touching the velvety skin of his bare arms with his comfortably daring fingers.

“I was thinking before…” Minho hums as he brings his water bottle into Taemin’s hands. He gulps some down. Minho does the same. “I was thinking… If we never get out of here I could definitely live with the bugs because I have you.”

“Because you know I’ll kill them if you cry out about them?” Minho raises an eyebrow and chuckles at the sweet boy leaning on him.

“Maybe.” Taemin turns to send Minho a smile he can only describe as mischievous and awaiting. “You know… It wouldn’t bother me that much. It kind of reminds me of shooting the video for "View". The idea of escaping to somewhere, where our rules are the only ones that apply. To top it off it would be with the people I love the most. Like right now. I love you Minho.” Minho shakes his head. Taemin sends him another mischievously provocative smile.

“I love you too, crazy forest child.” Taemin shakes his head as he laughs the laughter of a little boy. Minho chuckles like a big boy. Minho kisses the nape of his neck like a big boy. Taemin turns his head and brings his lips onto the full, round lips of Minho. This is not something little boys do much, but sometimes little boys grow up by the touch of a big boy. Minho cannot resist, as expected of a big boy who is in love with a little boy with big boy tendencies.

Minho feels something stir inside of him that doesn’t fit in a forest. It fits in Minho’s bed back at the dorm. It fits where he can lie Taemin down and kiss him all over till he’s yearning for Minho to take him. Minho pushes this aside because big boys have to control themselves.

“Do you think Jinki is worried?” Minho nods. “We should get up and hurry home.” Minho nods again. Minho brushes the dirt off his bum as he stands up from the forest floor.

“I hope we find a path soon.” Minho shows his desire to get out of there. Taemin reacts with a squeeze of the hand because little boys think everyone is allowed to be scared, even big boys like Minho. Minho appreciates that. Taemin lightly brushes his free hand up and down Minho’s bare arm. Minho feels Taemin pinch his skin lightly.

Minho stops again. Taemin gives him the eyes.

“Taemin we’re in a forest… And we’re lost.” Taemin looks down, getting shy. He’s been Minho’s boyfriend for years and yet this subject never fails to make him go red in the face. He never approaches it with words. He has his gestures like pinching the skin on Minho’s arm or running his index finger in circles just beneath the older’s ear.

“I know we are.” The statement comes out as a whisper, although not intended that way. Minho takes a step closer. He brings his lips intoxicatingly close to Taemin’s ear.

“Taemin…” The moaning whisper is almost too much for Taemin’s worn legs to handle. He holds onto Minho’s shoulder. “There are bugs everywhere.” Taemin takes a step back, giving Minho a displeased look. Little boys don’t enjoy the big boys teasing them. “Not here.” Minho grows serious. Taemin pouts but accepts that he has lost this one. After all, big boys know what is best. He gets by with a taste of Minho’s sweet lips.

“Let’s just… Hurry home,” Taemin says as he grabs Minho’s hand and stomps on. Minho smiles at his stubborn boyfriend. Taemin thinks about Minho was he drags him along. Taemin thinks about the smile at is always on his lips. Taemin thinks about how he has such a temper, yet Taemin rarely experiences it. Taemin thinks about how much it takes to piss Minho off. He wonders if he should test this. He doesn’t. He doesn’t like angry Minho.

He looks back at Minho. He catches a glimpse of worry in Minho’s eyes before Minho cuts the eye contact.

_Big boys keep their cool when the little boys can’t._

_Little boys think everyone is allowed to be scared, even big boys like Minho._

“Minho…” Taemin shows concern for the older boy. Minho throws on a big boy smile. Taemin sighs and hooks his arm tightly in Minho’s. “We’ll find a path soon.” Taemin feels how the forest makes him grow older. Minho feels how the forest makes him grow backwards. Now he’s a big boy with little boy tendencies.

Sure enough, they’re on a narrow path just about five minutes later. Taemin beams at Minho, who lets himself sigh in relief.

“Let’s get home Taemini.” Minho grabs Taemin with new found strength and throws him on his back. He runs quite a while like this, Taemin cheerfully laughing from his back with his hands clutched tightly around parts of Minho’s shirt.

Taemin sees something different up ahead. “Not trees!” he yells.

“Not trees?” Minho chuckles. “Did you leave your grammar somewhere in the forest?” Taemin giggles as he bashes Minho’s head. “I’ll drop you kid. Be careful.” Taemin kisses the nape of Minho’s neck and he can’t help but smile because Taemin is the cutest little boy that makes Minho feel like one too.

Minho takes him all the way home like this, letting the little and exhausted boy rest on the big exhausted boy. Minho takes the long way around the back because today is not the greatest day to be recognised by half of Seoul with a sleeping Taemin on his back and the look of someone who has been lost in a forest for a few hours. Minho manages to press the doorbell with utmost caution. He hears Jinki’s voice speak the two boys’ names in panic.

“Yes, it’s us. We’re okay.” Jinki lets him in and Minho steps into the elevator, listening to Taemin’s breathing as he feels his chest go up and down against his back. He stays still as a statue for the little boy.

Jinki stands in the doorway and Jonghyun is right behind him. Even Kibum has made his way to the dorm to be with his two hyungs who both seem to be worried out of their minds.

“Minho, you were almost gone for seven hours.” Minho furrows his eyebrows. He must have greatly miscalculated when he had checked the time on his phone, that didn’t have any service out in the forest.

“I didn’t think it was that long… We got lost. I’m sorry. Let me just bring Taemin to bed. I’ll come in and talk in a second. Minho makes his way past his three worried friends and into Taemin and Jonghyun’s room. He places Taemin carefully down on the bed.

“Minho,” Taemin mumbles.

“We’re home Tae. I’ll come back in a second I just need to reassure the other’s that we’re alright. Just sleep.”

“Put me in your bed first… It smells like you.” Minho smiles at the comment and brings Taemin back in his arms. He carries him into Minho’s bed where Taemin happily throws off his shoes and tiredly kicks out of his jeans before burying his face in the pillow, sniffing it very obviously. Minho throws the blankets over him.

“I’ll be back.” He walks into the kitchen full of serious big boys. Minho becomes small. Jinki becomes soft.

“I’m so glad you’re okay. We were worried out of our minds.” Minho feels arms wrap around him. He lets himself become the little boy. He lets himself receive a hug of comfort. “Are you both okay?” Minho nods.

“We just got lost. There was no connection and when we got back to the city I couldn’t really call you cause Taemin was sleeping on my back and I was doing my best not to get noticed too much.” Jinki hums in response and Kibum nudges at Minho with a cup of tea.

“Drink before you go take care of Tae.” Minho takes the cup with a small smile. He takes a sip.

“How’s Tae?” Jonghyun asks, sitting down across from Minho.

“Exhausted,” Minho chuckles. They look at him in that way they sometimes look at their friend, who is so sweetly in love that they almost feel it themselves. Jinki pats him on the back. “He might be sleeping in my bed tonight. He asked me to put him there…” Minho looks at Jinki apologetically. He chuckles.

“I’ll borrow Taemin’s bed tonight.” He nods understandingly because the expression on Minho’s face screams exhaustion and Taemin is in their bedroom waiting to be held by the small tired boy. It would only be best to leave the two for themselves. Jinki is fine spending the night giggling with Jonghyun about whatever there is to giggle about and fall asleep on the floor because their pillows and blankets are down there anyway and caressing Jonghyun’s hair always gets him falling asleep even with his insomnia.

“Go to bed Minho.” Kibum’s voice is soft. “We’ll cook some dinner and leave you some if you wake up okay?” Minho nods and gets up. “Can I crash here tonight?” This is the last thing he hears before he has slouched out of range and nears the door to his bedroom. He stops for a second, staring at his boyfriend, who is fast asleep on his bed in nothing but his underwear and a t-shirt. Minho undresses down to his boxers. He lifts the covers with caution and wraps an arm around his sleeping boyfriend. A satisfied hum can be heard from Taemin’s huddled body.

“I waited for you, Choi Minho.” Minho kisses his forehead and smiles. The little boy lifts his head onto the big boy’s chest. They sleep.

They slept very early and Minho finds himself waking up at 11 pm to the sound of Jinki, Jonghyun and Kibum talking in the other room. He smiles shortly before he hears a whisper coming from Taemin.

“Did you wake up too?” Minho nods. Taemin cuddles closer to Minho. “Thank you for today. It made me remember that it’s okay to get scared even when you’re supposed to be brave.” There is a pause. “Even you… Choi Minho. My brave man.” Minho’s cheeks flush red as he pulls Taemin closer.

“I would deny but I’m too lazy right now.” Taemin chuckles as he starts running his fingers up and down Minho’s arm. Minho feels a pinch or two and he knows what’s about to happen. Minho pulls Taemin’s face up to his own and puts his lips on Taemin’s. He wastes no time slipping his hand under Taemin’s shirt, up his skinny body. Their kiss gets increasingly heated as they lie there. Taemin moves on top of Minho, who anticipates the boy’s next move. Taemin throws his shirt down on the floor and gently moves his crotch back and forth on Minho’s. Not much time passes before their underwear is off.

Minho thinks there’s nothing better than to have Taemin a sweaty mess on top of him. He bites his lip in between moans as Taemin moves to please his boyfriend. Minho is, of course, very pleased. Taemin’s moans change. His eyes roll to the back of his head and his cum goes all over his chest. Minho watches in awe until his own orgasm comes along and he can do nothing but throw his head back and moan Taemin’s name repeatedly. Taemin slows down, then stops completely. He throws himself down next to Minho.

“A shower maybe?” Minho suggests with a tired smile. Taemin nods and they take their time getting up from the bed. They sneak into the bathroom, afraid to be seen only in towels and covered in something they won’t be able to explain away. Not that the three older boys don’t know what they do but the confrontation isn’t needed.

They clean up and dress in their underwear and a t-shirt each. Taemin borrows his favourite shirt from Minho’s closet. They waddle into the kitchen, hand in hand, dying for something to eat. As Kibum promised there is food for them in the fridge. Minho heats it up and Taemin gives him a back hug every ten seconds.

“Minho…”

“Mhm?”

“I hope you know that I see everything you do for me…” He squeezes Minho a little tighter. “You don’t have to be so brave for me all the time… It’s good to get lost sometimes, remember? That way you can get back on your feet even stronger than before.”

“You’re a wise child. I’m glad I have you.” Taemin smiles a proud smile at his tall boyfriend, who is now looking down at him… Not down… Just at. He looks at Taemin and suddenly Taemin is no longer the little boy. Minho is no longer the big boy. They’re just two boys stuck in the middle, a little lost, a little found. Does it really matter as long as they're on their way somewhere with their someone?


	7. Jongyu - Under the Blue Light | part 1/2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is already posted as its own story before I made this collection but I felt it should be here too because I have OCD when it comes to my fics. Love yall.
> 
> Curiosity & fluff.
> 
> Wordcount: 3,1K

Bathed in blue light Jinki felt the man's arm wrap around his chest, dragging him outside. The reason why he had felt his legs go numb within seconds was unknown to him still. There was much for Jinki to be confused about as he looked back at the many eyes staring his way. They too seemed to be just as confused as Jinki himself. Not being able to do much about the situation he smiled and nodded at the staring eyes. He found that to make the eyes look even more confused. Finally, Jinki was free from the eyes as the doors to the club closed behind them. The man put him over his shoulder without a word.

"Uhm excuse me..." Jinki began, trying to engage contact with the man making his face red from the blood rushing there. The man hummed. "Where are we- actually can you put me down or something? The blood is rushing to my face and I'm getting lightheaded." Jinki was pulled off the still nameless man's shoulder and was now being carried bridal style instead.

"You still can't walk I'll have to carry you all the way." The man looked straight forward as he walked. This enabled Jinki to stare at his face without the awkward eye contact that would usually follow this.

"Very well. All the way to where, though?" Jinki asked, still not satisfied with his lack of knowledge on what exactly was going on.

"My place. I'm Jonghyun by the way. Kim Jonghyun." His gaze had yet to have flickered from the pavement right in front of him.

"Is this some really creative way to get me into your bed or?" Jinki smiled widely at the stranger Kim Jonghyun, enjoying his own funny remark. Jonghyun looked amused for a short moment.

"No. I'm saving you from a rather unpleasant situation."

"Am I gonna be getting more out of you than that?" Jinki raised an eyebrow, staring at Jonghyun's intense face.

"When we get inside." The rest of the walk was quiet. It was late, much later than Jinki had intended or wanted it to be. The streets were emptied of people and the only traceable sounds were the calming clacking of Jonghyun's boots on the asphalt and the occasional car driving by. Jinki began to wonder how long it would take Jonghyun to get tired from carrying him. Jinki wasn't overweight but he was a grown man nevertheless. Still, Jinki could not trace a single sign of him wearing out. Jonghyun turned to a door and stopped in front of it.

"What do we do now?" Jinki asked, still not able to as much as feel his legs.

"Hold on tightly to my neck," Jonghyun instructed and Jinki did as told. Jonghyun bent down and sat Jinki's feet down on the ground. Of course, they wobbled without Jinki's control. Jonghyun stood back up holding Jinki's back for support as he pulled his keys out with the other hand. "I should have just thrown you back over my shoulder," Jonghyun said with a pained face as Jinki tried to keep his whole body up by clinging to Jonghyun's neck.

"That would have been smart," Jinki said as Jonghyun began shuffling Jinki onto his back, holding onto his legs. "Neat," Jinki said and kept his arms around Jonghyun's neck. He walked up the stairs with Jinki on his back and unlocked his door with less difficulty than the first one. Jinki took in everything he could as Jonghyun carried him into the living room and dumped him on the sofa.

"Are you comfortable?" Jonghyun asked, standing over him.

"Yeah... Your place is very vintage. I like it a lot." Jinki was too busy looking around the room to pay much attention to Jonghyun's question. That was, of course, until he remembered why he was there. "Oh yeah, by the way. Could you maybe explain why my legs are completely numb?" Jinki asked calmly. Jonghyun nodded and sat down on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

"The guy who got a drink sent to your table put something in it. It shouldn't be permanent if I'm correct, but you should stay here until we know for sure."

"Why did he put something in my drink?" Jinki furrowed his eyebrows as he considered if his friend's birthday party had been worth all this trouble now.

"He wanted to fuck you," Jonghyun bluntly told Jinki, who was startled by the words. "I knew him a long time ago. You don't want to have anything to do with him as you can probably guess from the situation you're in now." Jinki was quiet for a few seconds.

"So I was right about that... But can you blame him? I'm pretty fuckable." Jinki grinned at Jonghyun, knowing he had made an odd joke at an odd time. Jonghyun let a single chuckle leave his mouth before his expression grew serious once again.

"Coffee?" The serious expression on Jonghyun's face made Jinki feel like he was being interrogated and asked if he was guilty of murder. Even so, Jinki soon found it amusing and smiled widely at the serious boy in front of him.

"Do you perhaps have tea?" Jinki's smile stayed plastered on his face as he watched Jonghyun stand up to go into the kitchen. In the meantime, Jinki attempted at pushing himself up in a seated position with his arm strength. He looked around the room until his eyes landed on the desk in the far corner just by the window. It was messy and most of the drawers were half open. There were old mugs standing next to the laptop and the stacks of books and papers. The desk looked to be as old as all his other furniture. Jinki almost felt as though he had been carried onto the set for a movie about a writer or a journalist living alone in a small city flat.

"Here." Jonghyun put the mug on the table in front of Jinki. He sat down next to Jinki's feet, taking a sip of his own mug before setting it down and facing Jinki. Jinki looked questioningly back at him. "I have to check if you're getting feeling back to your legs. Jinki nodded simply, giving Jonghyun permission to touch him. He reached up and squeezed Jinki's ankles. He looked up for a reaction on Jinki's face, but he shook his head. He touched all the way up to his knees, but still nothing from Jinki.

"Is it permanent?" Jinki asked. For the first time, Jonghyun traced worry on his voice.

"I might have checked too early. It still hasn't been long and I'm guessing he'd want this to work until he was... Done with you." Jonghyun flinched at the last words, remembering things he wished he couldn't. "How much is numb?" Jonghyun changed the subject.

"Till upper thigh-ish," Jinki answered. Jonghyun hesitated momentarily.

"So you can feel this?" Jonghyun squeezed Jinki's upper thigh and Jinki nodded. "I'd give it an hour," Jonghyun said, same serious expression as previously. "Is there anything you want other than tea? Are you hungry or do you just want to relax? If you want to sleep, I can carry you to my bed."

"Are you staying up?" Jinki's question sounded needy as he was sitting there, unable to move his legs with a beautiful man asking him if he wanted to sleep in his bed. All Jinki's young, horny and very gay mind could think of was staying next to Jonghyun because he enjoyed the calm, serious look that he had in his eyes and how they would turn worried for a moment before quickly returning to their calm state.

"I'm not that good at sleeping, so yes I'm staying up." Jinki's eyebrows furrowed. "I have insomnia," he explained further. Only now did Jinki notice that his eyes did seem to look a certain kind of tired. A kind smile was sent Jonghyun's way and he couldn't help but return it.

"I'll stay up a while longer then," Jinki decided and attempted at pulling his legs in so he didn't take up all the room on the sofa.

"Need help?" Jonghyun's amused smile made his eyes light up in a new way. Jonghyun helped Jinki move his legs and seated himself closer to Jinki, facing him with his legs crossed. "Wanna do something?" Jonghyun asked leaning his elbow on the back of the sofa. Jinki nodded eagerly and they both thought for a while.

"Let's just talk. I want to know more about you." Jinki sent the serious man in front of him a cheeky smile before opening his mouth once again. "What do you like? Just anything."

"Sex." He responded without hesitation and with no sign of amusement to trace on his face.

"Good one. You're not alone there... Nothing else?"

"I like writing especially at night when I can't sleep."

"What do you write then?" Jinki smiled to himself when he turned out to be a writer much as he had predicted from the messy desk.

"Anything really. Poetry and short stories mostly. I like to put small conflicts into stories and leave them just below the surface for the reader to find. I haven't published anything though. Very few people have ever even seen my work." Jinki listened closely to every word as he stared at Jonghyun's moving lips. They curved upwards into a smirk. "Are you even listening?"

"More closely than you'd think." Jonghyun's cheeks seemed to turn a few shades redder. Jonghyun asked Jinki to tell him something he liked.

"I like sex and I like smiling." Of course, a huge smile followed this statement, that Jonghyun soon wanted elaboration on.

"Tell me more about that."

"Which one?"

"Both."

"Okay, sex... Well, that's because I like being loved in all the senses of the word. It might seem like a basic and obvious thing to say, but it really is something I care a lot about and the sex is a way of saying everything you feel because words never seem to be enough. I like to smile because I don't hide my feelings much and I'm happy a lot. When I smile I also become happier because of the smiles I receive in return. I like the way people's eyes light up when their smile is genuine. It gives me a boost. I guess I just like people and love. Sex and smiles are just two things, that fall under those categories." Jonghyun stared at Jinki's thoughtful face as he wondered how such a man could exist. So happy, carefree even, yet so reflecting and somewhat wise, even if it seemed like a strange word to use about a young man like him, it seemed to fit. Their conversation continued until 5:18 turned to 5:19 when Jinki let out a loud, sleepy yawn.

"Bedtime maybe? It's..." Jonghyun paused to look at the time on his phone. "5:19 after all." Jinki nodded sleepily and stood up from the sofa to find the bed as quickly as possible. He was about to lift his left foot when he realised that he was standing up. He looked down at Jonghyun with a smile on his face, pointing to his legs. Jonghyun laughed a happy laugh and got up next to him. "Try walking. You might be a little shaky still." Jinki took a step and, sure enough, he was a little unsteady. Jonghyun stood right behind him ready to catch him if he should lose balance completely. Jinki quickly got the hang of it again and turned to Jonghyun.

"Bedroom?" Jonghyun grabbed his arm gently and led him through the living room and to the old, white double doors. Jonghyun grabbed the door handle to reveal a room with a large bed opposite them. It looked incredibly comfortable and Jinki was very drawn to it. The bed hadn't been made and the duvet, blankets and pillows were spread across the bed. Jinki didn't find it to make the bed look less inviting. In fact, it did the exact opposite. It made the bed, and the whole room, look even comfier. It gave Jinki a homey feeling that he didn't want to let go of.

"It's a little messy bu-"

"It's lovely." Jinki walked to the bed and threw himself down on it. "Are you gonna try and sleep too?" Jinki was already getting cosy, hugging one of the duvets as he looked at Jonghyun, still standing in the doorway.

"Yeah, I'm exhausted." He neared the bed where he grabbed a blanket and turned to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" Jinki's voice sounded stern, caring and needy all at once.

"To the sofa."

"Just sleep here. It's your bed after all and I don't mind sharing." Jinki rubbed his eyes sleepily and Jonghyun smiled at how childlike he could look. So innocent and so painfully cute. He nodded, not in the mood for a pointless argument with the sole purpose of Jonghyun showing that he was humble and kind when in reality both of them wanted to spend the night lying next to each other.

Jonghyun put the blanket back down on the bed and began to undo his belt and undress like Jinki was doing, forcing him to sit up from the comfortable spot he had found on the bed. He was quick to take off his trousers, leaving him in a t-shirt and underwear. Jonghyun on the other hand, slept mostly naked but decided to keep his underwear on this time. He wasn't shy, but he thought it was best not to, seeing as they had known each other for no more than a few hours. Jinki watched him as he pulled off his t-shirt and revealed an incredibly fit body. This didn't surprise Jinki since he had stared at his arms quite a few times throughout the night. He threw himself down on the bed, grabbing the other duvet to pull over himself. On each side of the bed, they lay looking into each other's eyes.

"Your bed is as comfy as it looks," Jinki beamed lazily at Jonghyun. The smile was returned. Jinki rolled onto his back. "These are the best moments."

"What do you mean?"

"Lying like this with someone special, someone exciting, just like this. Wanting more than we have, but at the same time being completely fine with how it is, because the lust is oddly satisfying as much as it too is frustrating." Jinki turned his head to look back into Jonghyun's eyes.

"Wouldn't fulfilling the desires feel more satisfying."

"Sure, but don't you enjoy the mutual, unspoken lust that lies heavily upon the room, with two individuals doing their best at containing this feeling, not letting it slip even when it's so damn obvious? I live for that feeling." Jinki spoke with much passion visible in his eyes. Jonghyun nodded. Jinki sighed comfortably and did a 360 roll to get closer to Jonghyun. His smile was goofy when his eyes once again found Jonghyun's.

"There's something about you," Jonghyun chuckled warmly.

"There's something about you too." Jinki smiled up at the beautiful face of the man, propped up on his elbow only in his underwear and sharing a bed with him. He couldn't quite fathom how Jonghyun's dark brown puppy-like eyes were staring back down at him. Jonghyun's hand moved to Jinki's chest where he played with the soft fabric of his t-shirt.

"I like... Kisses too." Jonghyun stared at his own hand on Jinki's chest. "The comfort it gives no matter the situation. The feeling of having someone else's lips on my own is so many things at once. It's love, it's lust, it's a confession of any kind of mutual attraction and it kills loneliness. I need that sometimes..." Jonghyun confessed with his eyes still shyed away from Jinki's.

"Kisses are nice." Jinki agreed, bringing his hand up to Jonghyun's face and moved it so Jonghyun had no choice but to look him in the eyes. "You're allowed to kiss me you know." Jinki smiled softly at the somewhat pained face looking down at him. Jonghyun moved slower than he wanted to, but couldn't find the powers to, above Jinki. Jonghyun's face was just above Jinki's. Only a few centimetres of air between their lips, reducing slowly until Jonghyun felt the softness of Jinki's pulp lips against his own dry ones. Jonghyun's eyes fluttered closed and so did Jinki's when Jonghyun pressed his lips further onto his. Jonghyun felt Jinki's lips part, letting Jonghyun access him better. A sigh of satisfaction left Jinki as he moved his hands up Jonghyun's arms. Without warning Jinki let his tongue slip into Jonghyun's mouth. Jonghyun pulled away and Jinki looked puzzled up at him.

"All the blood just rushed to my... Yeah, let's continue later." Jonghyun awkwardly moved his leg back and once again propped himself up on his elbow to look down at the dazzling man lying next to him.

"That was quick," he teased Jonghyun and Jonghyun flicked his arm softly, otherwise ignoring his remark. He too was starting to feel exhausted from the long night. "How are we ever gonna sleep with all that bright light?" The sun had begun to rise and it was shining straight into Jonghyun's room.

"I have something." He turned to his small nightstand and rummaged through the drawers as he spoke. "The doctors recommended it to make me sleep better. It doesn't work much, but it's nice when I finally do get tired and it's too bright to sleep." He pulled out a remote looking thing and pressed a button. The room turned dark and, for the second time that night, the two of them were draped in blue light. "I see why it would be relaxing, but cure insomnia? Maybe a little naïve of me to believe."

"Maybe," Jinki scoffed jokingly and threw and arm over Jonghyun's stomach, pushing on it to get him to lie back down. Jonghyun obeyed, thrilled to find Jinki's hand had stayed burning wonderfully on his skin. Jinki shuffled closer, having missed the feeling of sleeping next to someone else and feeling the heat radiate off of them. "I also like the feeling of your skin on mine," Jinki mumbled into Jonghyun's chest.

"I like that too." Jonghyun wrapped his arm slowly around Jinki, who was holding on tightly to Jonghyun. He took a last look at the man, who looked a lot smaller now, clinging onto him with closed eyes and blue light shining on his skin. Like a god, of only good, he looked under the blue light.


	8. Jongyu - Under the Blue Light | part 2/2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Curiosity and fluff.
> 
> Word count: 1,8K

"Okay, my turn. Between tea and coffee, you're a tea person," Jonghyun said with much confidence as they sat opposite each other, eating breakfast in Jonghyun's small kitchen.

"That's too easy. When you asked if I wanted coffee last night I asked for tea and I did the same just now." Jinki narrowed his eyes, pointing at the mug in front of him. Jonghyun scoffed.

"Too easy? I didn't know this had to be difficult." He crossed his arms and leant back in his chair, which gave Jinki a better view of his abs as he still hadn't put on a shirt. "You sleep with clothes on for sure. I can tell you're not a naked sleeper," Jonghyun said instead.

"Correct. You sleep naked don't you?" Jonghyun answered with a hum and took a bite of his toast. "You prefer summer over winter." He looked into the eyes of the shirtless man in front of him, awaiting his answer.

"You're right. I'm gonna guess you're a winter person. You look cuddly in that snowy way." Jinki chuckled at this but nodded his head yes. "You've slept with quite a few people I think. Not an insane amount but I think you've had your fair share," he continued. Jinki nodded with a slight blush becoming visible on his cheeks.

"You haven't. Not because you can't, because you won't. You like sex though, but you're picky," Jinki guessed. Jonghyun thought for a second.

"Close, but I'm not picky. I'd just rather have sex when there are feelings involved. I like the tenderness that is always present, no matter how rough the sex is." He took a sip of his coffee and Jinki couldn't help but stare as he did so. He felt an urge to kiss his coffee flavoured lips when he sat in front of him so effortlessly sexy.

"Can we do something else now that I lost?" Jinki said, still looking at Jonghyun with fascination. Jonghyun smiled at the older and placed his hand on the table. Jinki came up with different games they could play, looking around the kitchen as he thought. Jonghyun still sat across from him, staring at the boy completely absorbed in his own thoughts. Jonghyun reached across the table and grabbed Jinki's hand. Jinki snapped out of his thoughts and looked over at Jonghyun before smiling down at their entwined hands.

"Any ideas?" Jonghyun asked, his serious eyes locking Jinki in a gaze he could not escape.

"I want to know more about the guy from last night. You told me you knew him..." Jinki trailed off, his curiosity getting the best of him. He squeezed Jonghyun's hand once as he watched him prepare to answer.

"We used to go out. I usually judge well, but he seemed to trick me and that's why he's dangerous. I had no idea I was making a mistake until I had already been hurt badly. I wasn't stupid or inexperienced. He was tricky and quick; so quick it didn't allow me to think. That's why I snatched you out of there. I didn't want you to become his next target." Jinki listened carefully to every word and nodded along as Jonghyun spoke to him. "It's very likely that he numbed you so that he could rape you without having you run away." Jinki tightened his grip on Jonghyun's hand at the forward words. "There's nothing to worry about anymore." Jonghyun smiled shortly but reassuringly, and Jinki instantly relaxed in the comfort of Jonghyun's company.

"Thank you for saving me, my hero," Jinki said in an overly dramatic voice and with a wide grin that showed his slightly crooked teeth. Jonghyun stared in awe at the angelic smile from the angelic man in front of him.

"I'm glad I did," Jonghyun responded, feeling how Jinki made him softer and softer each second. All of a sudden Jonghyun noticed Jinki's eyebrows furrow and his eyes look worried back at him.

"What exactly did he do to you?" Jinki's voice gave away his fear of the answer.

"He was very forceful and he never listened when I said no... It never got as serious as rape but it sometimes felt like it was a little too close. He hit me a couple of times before I finally got rid of him. Even after that, he tried to get me back a couple of times but his yelling and threatening didn't tempt me quite enough." Jonghyun looked at their hands as he spoke but moved his gaze back up when he found his hand empty of Jinki's. He saw Jinki lift his chair as he stood up and sat back down on it when he had reached the other side of the table where Jonghyun sat. He wrapped his arms around Jonghyun warmly. Jonghyun smiled into Jinki's shoulder.

"I wouldn't do something like that to someone as lovely as you," Jinki whispered and took in Jonghyun's sweet scent. He wondered how it was possible not to do good by this man. Jinki was, of course, a very positive person and seeing the good in people was what he did; with the exception of people who hurt his loved ones. Jonghyun could feel that. Jinki kissed Jonghyun's cheek out of plain intuition. He bit his lip before bringing Jonghyun in for a strong, rough kiss. Jonghyun grabbed Jinki's t-shirt as he kissed back, closing his eyes. He heard Jinki push the chair away from behind him and move up on Jonghyun's lap. This pleased Jonghyun a lot and a smile, that broke the kiss, was there to prove it.

"I like it when you do that." Jonghyun stared up at Jinki's face dreamily and Jinki smiled proudly down at Jonghyun's serious gaze.

"I like it when you give me that serious stare." Jinki grinned and kissed Jonghyun's forehead.

"I like it when you smile at me."

"I like it when you bite your lip at me."

"I like it when you sit on me."

"I like it when your hands are around me."

"Kiss me again." Jinki obeyed this command and slid his hands slowly down Jonghyun's naked upper body as he reattached their lips. His hands roamed the younger's body as their kiss deepened.

"I wanted you all morning," Jinki admitted, pulling away. "It's hard not to when you look at me like that."

"There's definitely something about you... Wait." Jonghyun paused. "I never got your name." Jinki bit his lip playfully.

"Lee Jinki, but you can call me baby." Jinki grinned at his own corny words.

"I'll be holding you to that." Jonghyun pointed a finger at Jinki, who quickly took the opportunity to grab it between his teeth softly. Jonghyun laughed. "You're so adorable today." Jonghyun's smile grew wider than Jinki had seen yet. He let go and pecked Jonghyun on the lips before standing up from his lap.

"I'm gonna have to see you again but I need to get home to my roomies. They're still texting me nonstop." Jonghyun nodded firmly and walked to his room to find a shirt. On his way, he yelled that he would follow Jinki home. Jinki smiled to himself as he pulled on his jacket, waiting for Jonghyun. "Wow." He breathed out. Jonghyun came back and grabbed his jacket before kicking his shoes on.

They walked for 20 minutes before reaching Jinki's front door. Jonghyun kissed Jinki. He felt Jinki's tight grip on his arm.

"Stay the night."

"Okay." There was not a moment of hesitation from Jonghyun's side. The longer he could spend with Jinki the happier he was. "Will your friends think it's fine?" Jonghyun asked as they entered the elevator.

"As long as I don't bring a whole party over they don't really mind," Jinki reassured and grabbed Jonghyun's hand. Jinki offered to take Jonghyun's coat once they got inside. Jonghyun handed it to Jinki and kissed his cheek swiftly.

"I like the smell of your flat."

"I'd love to tell you it's natural, but the truth is that Kibum works very hard to keep our flat smelling homey and make it seem like it wasn't deliberate," Jinki told him, chuckling at his roommate's strange ideas.

"He did a good job then," Jonghyun said as they began to walk towards the living room.

"Thank you. I do try." Kibum sat by their dining table with a cup of coffee with a smug smile on his face. Next to him sat Minho and Taemin, who were both looking curiously at Jonghyun.

"So that's Kibum," Jinki explained to Jonghyun. "And those two are Minho and Taemin." Jonghyun greeted them with a short bow of the head. "This is Jonghyun. The guy who abducted me yesterday." Jinki introduced and placed his hand softly on Jonghyun's lower back.

"So he dragged you out of the club right? None of us saw but I asked around for you afterwards and everyone said you had been dragged out by some guy." The two of them nodded at Minho, who had asked the question.

"What exactly happened?" Taemin asked as Jinki lead Jonghyun towards two empty chairs by the table.

"Remember that guy who came over with a drink for me?"

"That we all told you not to drink, yes," Kibum answered, his voice salty. Jinki ignored the comment.

"Turned out he put something in it that numbed my legs, so when I was dancing afterwards I began to wobble a little. Jonghyun grabbed me out of nowhere and pulled me outside. Jonghyun used to know the guy so he had kept an eye on me after he had come up to me. He carried me all the way to his place and made sure I was fine and that I regained the feeling in my legs before sleeping." Jinki tried to keep it short, deliberately not telling his friends about the long talks or the multiple kisses that had been shared.

"We owe you a thank you then, for helping Jinki." Minho smiled at Jonghyun, who returned it nervously. Jinki squeezed his hand reassuringly underneath the table.

"There's something with you two. What else happened?" Kibum detected. At this point, this didn't surprise Jinki anymore. Kibum was quick to pick up on the atmosphere surrounding a person or in this case two people.

"We kissed," Jinki admitted, looking over at Jonghyun to make sure he was still comfortable. He looked back at Jinki with a smile that held all of their questions, confessions and little touches from last night and that same morning. It told Jinki that he had not been this comfortable in a good while, that this moment was important because he realised that there was more than something about Jinki. This moment he realised there was everything about Jinki and he wanted to see it all. Jinki smiled back to let him know he had felt that since their eyes met for the first time, under the blue light.

"Get a room."


	9. Taekey - Powdered Sugar | part 1/2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to my excited little friend Sandy. Love you to pieces.
> 
> Fluff with elements of angst in the form of bullying + non-graphic violence.
> 
> Wordcount: 4,7K

 

It has been a week now since Kibum moved into his new flat in a small town just outside of Seoul. His flat is simple and each room is messy in such a way that anyone coming in will be able to guess his occupation instantly; a sketch artist.

Kibum looks up from his current sketch to grab his trusty coffee mug. He looks out of the window to find two innocently unfamiliar eyes stare right back at him. Taemin's heart skips a beat. He has been caught. He cannot get himself to move, not even his gaze shifts from the artist's across the road. The eye contact is a little too intense for Taemin's liking and yet he can't look away. He smiles nervously at the boy across the road before finally being able to break away from the eyes staring back at him. He spins 180 degrees on his heel and leaves his room, the embarrassment becoming too much to handle.

He walks down to his parents' bakery, regretting it instantly as a basket is put in his hand, sending the smell of freshly baked bread up his nostrils. The card on top reads: "From the neighbours". Taemin already knows what this means.

"Could you deliver this to the young man across the road. We want to welcome him to the neighbourhood." Taemin sends his father a desperate look and gets a stern one in return. He gives up the already lost battle and walks out of the shop with fearful steps. It takes him just about two minutes to press in on the button that his finger dwelled on and he's starting to freeze, standing still in the cold weather. A few silent moments go by.

"Who's this?"

"The baker's son," Taemin sighs with a pained expression. He finds this to be more than embarrassing. He is buzzed in and walks up the stairs to the second floor. The young sketch artist stands in the door with a puzzled look on his face. He raises his eyebrows, gesturing for Taemin to explain his visit. He hands the basket over, their hands brushing against each other as Kibum grabs it. Kibum feels a spark run through his fingers at this moment. He looks down at the letter, understanding the situation.

"Oh, thank you," Kibum smiles shortly at the boy from across the road, who stands completely still in front of Kibum.

"I just delivered it, but I'll make sure to thank my parents," the boy speaks up nervously. Kibum finds it quite amusing to watch, knowing that he is flustered from the staring contest just minutes ago.

"What's your name, baker's son?" Kibum's curiosity seems to have a funny effect on the boy. He looks up into Kibum's eyes and opens his mouth just slightly before pausing nervously and then speaking up.

"I'm Lee Taemin."

"I'm Kim Kibum. Nice to be formally introduced," Kibum's chuckle makes Taemin's face red as a cherry. He looks down at his feet before shyly agreeing.

"I'll get back home. Enjoy the bread." Kibum hums and waves goodbye to Taemin, who turns to get back down the stairs. He jogs down and across the road. He passes on the thank you from Kibum and gets a caring pat on the head and a loving smile from his father.

Back in his room, Taemin glances over at Kibum every now and again. He likes the concentration visible on Kibum's face as he absorbs himself in drawing.

He spends the next day doing the same thing. One time he glances across the road and finds Kibum gone from his place at the working desk. Thinking it is probably a visit to the toilet or for making coffee, he brushes it off. This is until his mother comes into his room to tell him that the boy across the road has come to see him. Taemin walks down to the shop, feeling an explosion brewing inside of his nervous self.

"Hello, Lee Taemin." He looks different without his homey clothes, making Taemin internally break down over how Kibum can make him nervous just by putting on a jacket and some nice trousers. He greets Kibum politely with a bow.

"H-hello."

"I'd like to ask for your recommendation."

"R-recommendation? On what?" Taemin feels how he is being taunted by the walls. He feels the room shrink as Kibum just smiles at him. He looks up at his mother as she walks away, leaving him with nothing to hold onto. His parents shut the door to the back room. Taemin stands frozen in his spot.

"Bread," he speaks simply. Taemin hesitates, not sure why he has been asked this. Kibum keeps smiling.

"Okay... W-what kind of bread? Buns or loafs or something s-sugary?" He curses at himself for stuttering. He's never been a fan of his nervous stuttering but he has always been this way and his family all find it adorable. Taemin cannot see why.

Kibum can.

"Hmm... Buns," Kibum nods surely. Taemin walks behind the counter and browses through the shelves behind him. His nerves ease as he gets his mind on something he knows well without being confronted with Kibum's smiling face.

"These have some rye in them, which I like a lot and these ones are carrot buns. I personally love those." He looks back at Kibum who nods, looking up at the bread.

"I'll take three of each, thank you." Taemin nods, getting the bread ready for him. Kibum hands him the money, thanking Taemin for the help. Taemin thanks him back. "I will see you again," Kibum smiles and turns his back.

"I could, uhm," Taemin starts. He grabs the table in front of him hard, regretting that he spoke up in panic because something in him wants a guarantee that Kibum's words are true.

"Yes?"

"If you have a usual order you can sign up for delivery on certain days and I'll come over with your order freshly baked exactly when you want it... It's a service we have," Taemin nervously babbles.

"That might be nice. I like a bun in between drawing," he nods, coming back to the counter. "Do I just give you preferred dates?"

"Yes, that and time as well as the order. Our busiest times are Saturday and Sunday mornings from 8-11 so if you're smart you avoid those," Taemin tips with a smile that he immediately regrets.

"Well, if I ask for delivery on a Wednesday morning, wouldn't you be in school?" Kibum asks, curiously.

"I'm home schooled. I deliver in the mornings before my private teacher comes," Taemin says with embarrassment and regret. He's a dork and he knows it. He hates it because here comes a young man, a few years older than himself with his life under control and his social skills seemingly perfected (at least compared to Taemin's) and Taemin feels like dying because other than wanting his level of success he also very badly wants the man himself... But Taemin is a dork.

"Okay, well Wednesday morning at nine it is. Do I pay you at the door?"

"That's up to you. Here, fill this out." Kibum fills out the form and Taemin puts it in the Wednesday pile that was empty just before.

"Thank you for buying your bread here." Taemin bows and Kibum smiles as he leaves the shop.

He wakes up early the next day. It's Saturday and, ironically, one of his busiest days. He puts on a colourful sweater and stares at himself in the mirror. He shies away from his own gaze and takes it off again. Instead, he wears a long sleeved shirt with black and white striped shirt and his faithful blue jeans with a hole by the knee from the time he fell on his bike and ruined Mr and Mrs Nam's pastries. He had to hurry back to his parents and switch the pastries for new ones and pedal faster than ever, apologising very out of breath about being late to the kind couple who let him have a glass of water before he went home.

He takes a deep breath as he leaves the bakery with today's deliveries. He grows nervous as he does the last delivery. It increases by the second as he nears the house of his old classmate's. He parks the bike and walks up to the door. As he rings the doorbell he feels his fingers start to shake. He begs for Joonho to still be sleeping.

"I'll take it, mum," Taemin hears and as the door opens the sweat breaks out on his forehead. Joonho's lips form a smirk as he finds Taemin standing nervously in his thin shirt and shivering slightly in the cold weather.

"Gaymin. It's not as fun in school now that we can't make fun of your clothes anymore." Taemin thinks of the sweater. He holds back any show of feelings, eager for the conversation to end.

"Here's your bread. We hope you enjoy it and we wish you a good day," Taemin says as he hands the bread to Joonho. He hurries back to his bike, making eye contact with Joonho a last time as he turns around on his bike. He speeds away from the house, tears falling down his red cheeks as he goes.

He rides past his house out to the outskirts of town where he goes up on a hill. It's been a while since he's been here. Last time was the day he decided to get home schooled. He had been pushed into a bush with thorns and had small cuts up and down his arms and face. He had sat on hill top crying for an hour, not at the cuts but at the wounds that followed. He had been called a filthy faggot. He had been called a disappointment to his family by someone who didn't even know his parents and yet he believed the words that left his mouth. He remembers that day so clearly as he sits on the hill again, looking at Seoul that lies on the horizon. He misses the trips he would take to Seoul with his parents when he was younger.

Taemin makes a wish. He wants to visit Seoul again soon. He is sure that the pollution and the loud noise would clear out his mind. With his work on weekends, it's hard to make time for it and he would have to convince his parents that he can handle himself alone in a big city. He shivers in the cold. He wipes off the tears and gets off the hill as the uneasiness and the longing becomes too much.

Wednesday comes around and Taemin wakes up nervous. He gets ready in a hurry and gets the freshly baked bread ready for Kibum. He waddles across the road in his boots but no coat. It snowed last night for the first time this winter, leaving a layer of snow on the ground like powdered sugar on Taemin's favourite pastries. He presses the button next to Kibum's name and is buzzed in. He hurries inside the building and walks up the stairs to Kibum's door. Kibum isn't anywhere to be seen from there.

"In here," Kibum yells from somewhere inside of his flat. Taemin pushes off his shoes with melting snow on them and walks inside, his heart beating faster at the smell of pencil shavings and coffee. He finds Kibum by his working table with a cup of steaming hot coffee next to him "Hello Taemin," he smiles. "Sorry I wasn't at the door. I'm so close to finishing this so I'm getting a little excited. Wanna see?" Taemin nods curiously. He looks at the strips of drawings. "They're for a comic. It's a big job and this is only the fifth page. I have to constantly send in my work to the writer and meet with him in Seoul. It's a bit stressful actually," he shares, realising that he did. "Oh, sorry to be boring you with that. I'll take the bread so you can get to your lesson," he smiles at Taemin.

"Oh no, it's okay. It interests me," Taemin reassures as he hands Kibum the buns that he ordered. He's jealous that Kibum gets to go to Seoul for work. "I have an hour before me teacher comes," he informs with a smile.

"Stay?" Kibum cocks his head to the side.

"Okay," Taemin agrees happily. Taemin ends up in a woolly blanket, listening to Kibum's stories as he draws and eagerly talks. He fetches him coffee when the cup is empty and they laugh together until Taemin can't drag it out any longer. He says goodbye to the young sketch artist, happy that they'll see each other again next week. He hopes he will be asked to stay again.

Taemin feels better that week. The emptiness that he's circling around in seems to become less. There's something (a coffee scented sketch artist) that takes a bite out of that emptiness with every glance they share through their windows. Taemin feels comforted by the warmth of Kibum's smile and the messy state his black hair usually is in.

Taemin walks across the street in the thickening snow. He's once again without a jacket since the trip is so short. He's buzzed in almost immediately and he rushes up the stairs to the warmth of one of Kibum's woolly blankets and a cup of morning coffee.

"Hello again, Taemin. Come inside. You look cold." Taemin steps inside, greeted by the cheerful Kibum in a Samurai Jack t-shirt and pj-bottoms. They sit down by his desk like last time and Kibum serves him a cup of coffee.

"How's the comic going?" Taemin asks with his legs pushed up close to his body and a blanket around him. He sips his milky coffee.

"It's going as smoothly as it can. I've been to Seoul once this week and we see very eye to eye." Taemin nods along, feeling the envy come back to him.

"I wish I could go to Seoul. I haven't been for at least a year. It's a place for me to clear my mind." Kibum smiles understandingly.

"White noise," he words it and Taemin gets that. He nods eagerly. Kibum chuckles. "What do you need white noise for?" Kibum pulls out a pencil and starts drawing as they speak.

"I work most mornings on delivery and then I spend my day being home schooled and doing homework. I help my mum and dad in the evenings with closing down and prepping for the next day. In the weekends I work in the mornings but I have no friends because I don't have time to make them so I never see anyone outside of my family... Except you... And it's really comforting. Thank you," Taemin ends gratefully.

"Have you always been home schooled?" Taemin shakes his head.

"I dropped out two years ago when I was 16."

"Why did you stop?"

"Bullying." Kibum frowns.

"It must have been pretty rough for you to stop going to school."

"I was the unlucky victim. I had no friends because people were either bullies or scared of them... See this?" Taemin points to his left cheek where a thin scar is visible on his otherwise smooth skin. Kibum nods, allowing himself to brush his thumb on it. "I was pushed into a thorn bush. One of the thorns cut especially deep right there." Kibum puts a comforting hand on Taemin's thigh.

"Do they still bother you?"

"I deliver to one of the boys' house every Saturday. He likes to call me a coward amongst other things. It's not pleasant but at least they don't seek me out."

"If they ever do, you better yell my name and I'll come right out to kick their asses." Taemin chuckles shyly as he looks into Kibum's eyes. Kibum smiles warmly back at the young boy. He finds Taemin stunning and it was hard to understand how a boy like that can look so insecure. His past explains a lot and Kibum finds himself curious about the full story because it seems there's more from the way he squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. He looks into Taemin's glossy eyes and decides not to ask any more questions.

"Can I draw you?" Kibum moves on and picks his pencil back up. Taemin blushes shyly covering parts of his face with his coffee cup as he slides slightly down his chair.

"O-okay," he stutters. Kibum smiles warmly at the red-faced boy in front of him. Taemin sits very still, awaiting what will happen next. Kibum starts to chuckle as he reaches towards Taemin, whose eyes widen. He puts a hand on the tip on Taemin's cup and lowers it to reveal Taemin's flushed face.

"I need to be able to see your face." Taemin crumbles inside at his own idiocy and he sits up straighter for Kibum to get a good view of him.

"Why do you want to draw me?"

"Because your expressions are almost cartoonish. You have a certain cuteness to you that seems surreal. It fascinates me. I've drawn you before... From the window," Kibum explains, deeply consumed in drawing and looking at Taemin's features. "Taemin, tell me about your childhood because something in me tells you that it has stuck with you."

"Why do you think that?"

"I'm an artist. I observe well and your eyes have an innocence I haven't seen in any other 18-year-old's before." Taemin bites his bottom lip, not knowing how else to react to that. "It's charming, Taemin. You're very charming." Taemin can't hold back the smile that shows on his face. He takes a sip of his coffee.

Taemin spends the next few silent minutes wondering how a man can redefine beauty so drastically for an 18-year-old dork with no friends. Even Kibum's simple words become pretty because of the way he says them. His fringe covers his eyebrows in such a way that the scar on the right one reveals itself from time to time. Taemin likes to look at it because things that tell a story are always worth an extra glance. Just like how Kibum took an extra look at Taemin that first day.

"What are you thinking about?" Taemin reacts with a few blinks as he realises that the question was directed towards him. He cracks a tiny smile.

"Second glances," he replies peacefully in his woolly blanket, feeling the safest and warmest he's felt in a while. Kibum finds him incredibly fluffy and the drawing that is produced depicts this warm mood. When Taemin has crossed the road to his lessons, Kibum sits in the company of his lo-fi playlist colouring in the brown blanket that matches the chocolaty eyes and compliments the shy smile.

Taemin stands in front of Jooho's door again the next Saturday. The words cut just as deep as they did last week. He jumps back on the bike as quickly as he can and rides to the hill. It's beautiful on a late winter morning even if Taemin's view is blurred. He goes back home and is greeted by the warmth of his parents' arms.

The next few hours, Taemin spends nestled by his window with a book about coming of age. Kibum spots him from his desk and falls in love with the view. He draws Taemin with his wide eyes, staring down at the excitement that the book stores. Taemin glances up at Kibum's window to find him drawing intensely at his desk.

"How can he work this much even on a Saturday?" Taemin asks himself, bringing his attention back to the book in his hands.

Taemin gets fed up with words and puts the book aside. He goes downstairs to dress in his winter jacket and big boots to keep warm in the cold snow outside. Taemin needs some cold, fresh air in his face and a little walk. As he places the woolly hat on his head he hears a familiar voice from the bakery.

"That would be lovely, thank you." Taemin sticks his head out from the door that separates their private home from the shop. The door makes a creaking sound that causes both his mother's and Kibum's heads to turn in his direction. He awkwardly stumbles into the room.

"Hello," he greets politely. His mother and Kibum chuckle at his flustered state.

"Hi," Kibum replies cheerfully. Taemin's mother gives him a certain look and Taemin rushes over to grab Kibum's bag of baked goods.

"Let me help you with this." Kibum chuckles once more as Taemin stands with the bag in his hand and in his large jacket and red woolly hat.

"You're all ready to go I see," he jokes as Taemin stumbles once more across the floor to the door. As they leave the shop Taemin's mother shouts a goodbye that Kibum returns. Taemin is too focused on keeping his feet walking beside each other instead of on each other.

"How's the drawing you did of me?" Taemin asks as they walk up the stairs.

"It's good. I coloured it in. Do you wanna see it?" Taemin lights up as he nods at Kibum. They go inside and Kibum shuffles out the drawing from the desk where it still lies. Taemin comes jogging, having to spend a little extra time with all of his clothes.

The drawing is placed in between his delightfully chubby fingers. He stares up at Kibum with an astounded smile and shining eyes. Kibum raises his eyebrows questioningly.

"Do I really look like this?" Kibum nods as Taemin continues to look from the drawing to Kibum. "But..."

"But?"

"It's so beautiful." He cocks his head to the side with furrowed eyebrows and a still astounded smile.

"Just like you," Kibum says and Taemin blushes a million shades of red, hiding behind the drawing.

"N-no," he stutters and lowers the drawing so just his eyes reveal themselves to Kibum "I really don't." Kibum rolls his eyes and takes the drawing from Taemin's hand.

"That's you Taemin. I drew you exactly how I saw you. I didn't add anything or take anything away. That's you." Taemin bites the inside of his lip and looks down at the ground. "You're very beautiful, Taemin. Don't doubt that." Kibum puts the drawing back and serves the stumbling boy some coffee in the kitchen.

"Kibum, why did you start drawing?"

"Because it soothes me like the noise of the city soothes you," Kibum sips his coffee and his eyelashes bat in a catty way. Taemin admires the grace and then he envies it. He envies the effortlessness of which Kibum does such things. He envies the confidence and the lack of self-awareness. He envies Kibum's beauty.

Sunday comes around and after delivery, Taemin decides to take the walk he never got to go on the day before. He walks further into the small town, past his old school and past Jooho's house (at a fast pace) and back home again. He's on the other side of Kibum's building when he hears a yell directed towards him. He keeps walking, afraid to look back.

"Yah, Taemin! We told you to stop!" He is pulled back by his shoulder and Jooho's face stands inches from his in a threatening way. Taemin takes a step back but Jooho has a good hold on his jacket.

"Let me go!" Taemin yells with a shaky voice which causes the group of boys to laugh at him. He swallows. "let me go." Joonho shakes his head.

"I'd rather keep you for a little while." Taemin avoids his gaze, trying to wish himself away from Jooho's grip. He feels a slap to the cheek.

"Yah, did I tell you, you could look away?" Taemin's eyes fill with tears of fear. Jooho grows an ugly smirk. "The faggot is crying now." His friends laugh and Jooho pushes Taemin into the snow. He gets threatened with a beating when he decides to yell out.

"KIBUM! HELP ME, KIBUM!" Nothing matters at this point. All he remembers are Kibum's words and he has a tiny little bit of hope that he might have heard it if he's home. The boys laugh. Taemin feels a hand pulling him up and then he feels a screeching pain to his nose as he falls back down in the snow.

"Calling for your boyfriend now?" Taemin cries as the words sting him.

"Yah! Leave Taemin alone!" Taemin looks up to find Kibum storming towards Jooho. "Fuck off." Kibum can be surprisingly intimidating. Taemin has only every experienced his soft side. The one that brings him coffee, draws him and calls him beautiful. Jooho considers for a moment but Kibum won't have it. "I told you to leave are you deaf?!" Joonho is obviously taken aback by the volume of which Kibum can yell.

"We don't need this that badly anyway. Faggots." They leave and Kibum grabs Taemin from the ground in a rush.

"I saw you from the window and then I heard you call when I came outside. I ran all the way down. Are you alright?" Taemin sits up. He nods, the tears and the bleeding nose say otherwise.

"The words hurt more than the beatings." Kibum nods, bringing Taemin's head close to his chest in a tight hug. "My nose hurts a lot."

Kibum gently grabs Taemin's face and pushes his head up. He immediately takes action, finding a patch of untouched snow and pushing it together with his ungloved hands. He puts the snow on Taemin's nose, colouring it red. Taemin stares up into Kibum's eyes as tears continue to fall. The snow has temporarily stopped the bleeding so Kibum rushes Taemin inside.

Taemin sits on Kibum's sofa as he recovers while Kibum rushes around to make sure he has everything he needs.

"Just sit down. That's all I need," Taemin tells him and Kibum stops stressing, sighs and sits down next to Taemin. He puts a comforting hand on Taemin's thigh. The bleeding has stopped but his nose doesn't look too good.

"They... Called you a faggot..." Kibum tries to bring up what he heard, afraid that the subject is too touchy.

"They found out that I'm gay... T-that's why I got bullied in the first place," Taemin clutches at his own shirt.

"Hey, relax." Kibum grabs Taemin's nervous hand. Taemin wipes away his tears with the other hand as he calms down from Kibum's comforting touch. "You're under a lot of pressure..." Taemin nods. His head lands in the crook of Kibum's neck, pulling himself closer to his antidote. Kibum feels more like a pain killer.

Kibum gets an idea. "Taemin, I know you have to work this weekend but can't you get the weekend off this once?" Taemin looks up from Kibum's shoulder.

"Why?"

"Come with me to Seoul. I'm going there for work next weekend and I could use an extra hand or two." Taemin's puffy eyes start to sparkle.

"I- I can?"

"If you want to then I'd love to go with you."

Taemin drags Kibum down to the shop to kindly ask his parents for permission. They notice Taemin's puffy eyes, the bruised nose and red cheek and they've been here before. They know the sad look he's been having in his eyes lately and they surely know the spark that is in them now. They allow him to go because they know he needs it. He hugs everyone in the room including their neighbour, who just came in to buy a loaf of bread.

As Taemin's excitement dies down and Kibum goes back home, his parents ask him about his nose, already knowing the answer.

"Taemin, did something happen?" His father gently caresses his red cheek. Taemin nods, letting his father hold him in the kind of loving hug only a parent can give you. "Is it still Jooho?" Taemin nods again. His mother kisses his hair.

"I'll talk to his mother when I do the delivery on Saturday," she whispers into Taemin's soft hair. His father brings her into the hug and they stay like that in the empty baker's shop for a little while.


	10. Taekey - Powdered Sugar | part 2/2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still dedicated to my favourite person, the Taemin to my Kibum, miss Sandy-shi.
> 
> Shy fluff and adventure + brief smut  
> Wordcount: 6K

 

As soon as Taemin’s teacher leaves on Friday, Taemin rushes downstairs and throws on a jacket, shoes and his trusty red woolly hat. He throws his prepacked bag on and gratefully takes the brown paper bag of pastries from his parents.

“Make sure to share with Kibum,” his mother jokes warmly and Taemin nods happily. He skips out of the shop and to the other side of the road where he rings Kibum’s doorbell. His parents watch him through their shop window as he stands, tripping on the doorstep. They watch the way his face lights up when he sees Kibum. The two boys hug and Taemin finds a string on Kibum’s bag to hold onto as they walk, making Kibum laugh loudly at the smolness.

“He’s in love,” Taemin’s father says with a sigh. His mother smiles as the two wander along the snowy street to the train station.

The two take a seat and Taemin puts his brown bag on the table. He leans back with a sigh, enjoying the feeling of his world getting larger.

“Your parents gave us pastries?”

“I know the trip isn’t very long but my parents insisted.”

“I’d say we have enough time to devour some pastries,” Kibum chuckles as he takes one out and gives it to Taemin. He takes a huge bite, followed by a huge smile. He has a line of powdered sugar on his upper lip. Kibum takes a bite of his own and mocks Taemin’s smile sweetly, making Taemin blush once more.

When the pastries are long gone only traceable by the white on Taemin’s jeans from the fallen sugar, Kibum pulls out some work papers that he reads, leaving the table in silence. Taemin takes this chance to study Kibum one more. He likes how he fiddles with the edges of the papers as he reads and how he nods his head to himself once every half page. He also notices the concentrated lip biting. He once read that some people find unconscious lip biting sexy. He’s never truly understood what that meant till this very moment. He bites his own lip in fascination as Seoul starts to reveal itself outside the window. Their station is announced as the next one and the two pack up and go to the doors. They step out of the train and Taemin feels more tension seep out of him. He scrunches up his nose that is still moderately bruised, looking over at Kibum who is checking his watch.

“We should drop off our stuff before we meet Yusei.” Taemin nods, not having any idea about where they’re dropping off their stuff or anything at all really. He follows Kibum out of the station and onto a busy street. They take a couple of turns and end up on a quieter street. “We’re staying at my friends’ house.” Taemin looks worried at Kibum. “No need to worry. They’re very nice guys and the place is pretty big for a Seoul flat,” Kibum reassures as they walk up to a smaller building with only about four floors. Kibum rings the doorbell to a flat on the second floor.

“Kibum?” The voice asks excitedly.

“It’s me,” Kibum chuckles. Kibum takes Taemin’s hand as they climb the stairs and soon enough they stand in front of a boy around Kibum’s age with a huge smile on his face, wearing red sweatpants and a white t-shirt.

“Kibum-ah,” the boy exclaims, embracing him in a big hug. His eyes meet Taemin’s. “This must be the Taemin we’ve heard so much about.” This comment earns a hiss from Kibum and Taemin blushes; as expected.

“Hello,” Taemin bows.

“I’m Jinki. Come inside.” Kibum shows him to the room they’re gonna have to share. They drop off their belongings and Taemin sits down on the only bed in the room. It feels nice and soft and not to forget big, which makes it not that awkward to share it with Kibum. As Kibum pulls out his papers, two new faces enter the room. One taller than everyone else, the other shorter.

“I’m Minho,” the tall one smiles at Taemin. The short one introduces himself as Jonghyun with a velvety voice. Taemin bows at the two.

“Now, Taemin is a young one so treat him nicely, okay?” Kibum sternly instructs. It seems that the words aren’t as much directed towards Jinki as towards Minho and Jonghyun. They hiss at Kibum before they leave the two alone to prepare for the meeting.

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Just help me carry some stuff. I have a lot of things,” Kibum explains apologetically. Taemin nods. They pack everything and leave the flat. Taemin keeps a hold of the strap on Kibum’s backpack. Once again it makes Kibum laugh, feeling like he’s taking care of the biggest toddler in the world. He notes that he has to keep an eye on Taemin because he seems like the kind of person to get lost or find himself in near death situations before he’s realised it.

“How’s the noise treating you?”

“It’s just what I needed,” Taemin beams. Kibum pulls him up to his side and grabs his hand. It shocks Taemin, who looks at Kibum with his big round eyes.

“Keep close to me. I don’t want you to get lost.” Taemin nods as he feels his heart rate go up to a thousand beats per second. They take the bus to the meeting and Kibum leads Taemin into a tall building where Kibum greets the receptionist. They go up to the seventh floor and they’re greeted by the writer. He looks Japanese and he’s wearing a white shirt with a black hoodie over it. His trousers are baggy and beige. There are paint stains all over them in a million different colours. Kibum says hi and introduces Taemin as his assistant. Taemin bows politely and his bag slides forward down his back so he gets to look very awkward as he stands back up again. Kibum smiles to himself.

The next two hours are spent in the office that smells even more like coffee than Kibum’s home does on workdays. Taemin listens to their discussion until he starts to lose interest. During the remainder of the meeting, Taemin finds many ways to make time fly; like imagining what Kibum’s exes have been like and why it didn’t work out, rolling his thumbs, imagining how Kibum will look tomorrow morning when they’ve just woken up. He wants to see Kibum’s hair all fluffed up from a night on the pillow. He scans the walls that have copies of Kibum’s drawings all over them but these ones have speech bubbles and text on them. It seems to be the main reason for this meeting: Where can they put the speech bubbles and why didn’t Yusei give Kibum more instructions along the way on this?

“Taemin what do you think?” Taemin is snapped out of his thoughts.

“O-on what?”

“Don’t you think there’s enough space for twenty words here?” Taemin looks up with clueless eyes at Kibum and the paper.

“I-I guess...” Kibum sends him a stressed smile and turns back to Yusei.

Taemin also has time to wonder why the two seem so uncoordinated for professionals. He’s aware that it isn’t a big production but it still seems very miscommunicated. To Taemin, it feels like they spend two hours arguing without actually raising their voices or showing their annoyance towards one another. He takes a sip of his coffee and admires the two artists in silence.

The meeting ends and Kibum goes out to pee. Yusei takes a look at Taemin. “He never mentioned an assistant before.” Taemin shifts in his seat, readying for unexpected conversation.

“I-It’s just temporary. I just help him carry stuff.”

“He’s a stubborn fella but he’s a great drawer and he really likes you.” Taemin gives him the same confused look he gave Kibum earlier. “You’re in my comic… Look,” he shoves a page in Taemin’s face and points to a character he’s seen on Kibum’s comic sketches before. The character has a black hair, like Taemin. The character has a short bowl cut, like Taemin. The character has a round nose, like Taemin. A lot of the simple features match Taemin’s. He is reminded of every other drawing Kibum has done of him. There are quite a few, considering how short their friendship has been so far. He looks up at the writer.

“M-me?” Yusei nods. “I’m sorry,” he apologises as he fears that he might have ruined the comic for Yusei, who probably has a pretty good idea of how he wants the characters to look. He shakes his head.

“It’s really good. The more I look at the drawings, and you, I know that Kibum is a real genius.” Taemin smiles shyly. “You’re important to him. I can tell.”

“H-how can you tell?” Taemin asks, feeling nervous again.

“I’m a writer. I observe for a living.” Taemin has heard similar words in the comfort of a blanket and Kibum’s sugary voice. He decides not to befriend any more artists because they all seem to read him like an open book.

Kibum comes back and gathers his drawings. Taemin rushes up from his chair to help, making Kibum smile up at him. The smile lingers in his mind for longer than usual after Yusei’s words. They say goodbye to him and take the bus back to the flat. The flat is empty and there’s a note on the floor just inside saying that the three boys went out for dinner.

“I guess we’ll do the same?” Kibum asks, walking to their bedroom. Taemin agrees. “I know a cosy little place if you’re cool with eating Chinese.”

“That sounds really good,” Taemin smiles. He drops his bag on the floor and throws his jacket in the same place. He throws himself on the bed for a quick minute of relaxation.

“The bed is really soft, isn’t it?” Kibum asks happily, having slept here before. Taemin nods with his eyes closed and a smile on his lips. He feels the bed shift and looks to his side to find Kibum lying next to him. Kibum’s eyes find his. “You don’t mind that we share a bed, do you?”

“It’s fine. It’s a pretty huge bed,” Taemin says, feeling his heart flip a couple of times. Kibum hums in response. They lie there for a few minutes, in need of some rest.

20 minutes later they’re seated at the little restaurant at a tiny table with just enough room for two plates and two cups. Taemin orders duck and Kibum gets tempted to do the same.

“I know we haven’t really had much time to ourselves today but how do you like the trip so far?”

“It’s really nice to get some change even if it means staring at two artists arguing back and forth for two hours,” Taemin jokes and Kibum huffs in 50% amusement, 50% embarrassment.

“I’m sorry about that.” Taemin shakes his head reassuringly.

“It was kind of fun.”

“Good,” Kibum’s eyes meet Taemin’s and they laugh for no particular reason. “I’m glad carrying papers was a good enough excuse to get you to come to Seoul with me.” Taemin looks down, covering his red cheeks as much as possible.

“Thank you for taking me.” Kibum pulls Taemin's face up by his chin and Taemin’s blush grows deeper. “I-it was very nice of you.” Kibum chuckles light-heartedly at the shy boy in front of him.

“You’re too shy for your own good, Taemin. I’m just Kibum.”

“Just Kibum…” He gets a questioning look. “You’re my only friend.” He looks down at his lap.

“I won’t go anywhere,” he smiles. “I’m really fond of you, Taemin.” He blushes.

“I really… Never mind,” Taemin shies away with a tiny smile.

“No, what? Tell me.”

“I just really like how you always say my name at the end of important sentences. It makes me feel warm inside,” he confesses.

“I hadn’t even realised I did that.”

“I notice things too even if I’m no artist,” Taemin jokes and their food is served. They devour their food in silence, both hungry after the long meeting.

At the flat, they’re met with three boys on their sofa in pyjamas and with ice cream. “We’re watching Friends,” they say and the exhausted Kibum and Taemin leave them to it as they head to bed. Taemin sits on the floor as he changes his clothes, very aware that Kibum is on the other side of the bed also taking off his trousers.

Taemin’s sleepwear consists of an oversized Mickey Mouse t-shirt and red PJ-bottoms. Kibum’s consists of underwear and a black t-shirt with superwoman on it. Kibum is the first to cuddle into the sheets, Taemin following right after. He turns off the night light, leaving them draped in a quiet darkness.

“Tomorrow will be fun. We have the whole day for whatever we want to do.”

“I can’t wait,” Taemin replies and the silence returns.

“Taemin…” Kibum whispers.

“Yes?”

“Have you ever been kissed by a boy before?”

“No… I’ve never been kissed at all before…” Kibum sits up and turns the night light on to find Taemin’s cheeks on fire before he hides them under the duvet. He stares up at Kibum with wide eyes.

“I don’t know what I expected… I just… You’re so… Sweet… I-” He turns the light back off and lies down closer to Taemin. “Sorry,” Kibum mumbles and Taemin hums peacefully. He feels a pair of lips press to his forehead.

“Thank you,” he whispers and Kibum finds Taemin’s hand under his duvet. They fall asleep like this.

Kibum wakes up with a slightly clammy hand that is still attached to Taemin’s. How they managed to keep their grip on each other all night is beyond him. He squeezes Taemin’s hand and he stirs a bit. Kibum stares over at the puffy faced boy with the adorable nose and the hair fluffed up on the pillow. He can’t keep his hands to himself as he brushes the hair gently out of Taemin’s face. His eyes flutter open and he scrunches up his face in confusion.

“Good morning,” Kibum says quietly and Taemin makes a grumbling noise that is scarily similar to the one of the grudge. This thought makes Kibum chortle; meanwhile, Taemin is thinking about how Kibum looks just as perky and cute as he had imagined yesterday.

“Good morning,” Taemin grumbles. “Can I sleep more? I never get to sleep past 8.” Kibum nods at the humble request and a satisfied smile appears on Taemin’s face that soon disappears into the fluffiness of the duvet. Kibum joins him and snuggles in close to Taemin, who looks up to find Kibum’s eyes a few inches from his. His head shoots back in shock and he almost slides off the bed, making Kibum burst out in laughter. He helps little Taemin back up and Taemin clambers to Kibum’s body when he finally gets up.

“You’re so insanely adorable, Taemin.”

“You said my name,” Taemin shies away.

“Because it’s important.” Kibum gently moves under Taemin’s duvet and sneaks his arm around Taemin’s waist. Taemin buries his face in Kibum’s neck and keeps his race-winning heart a safe distance from Kibum’s body. He falls back into a slumber with Kibum’s arms unmentioned around him.

Taemin wakes up with his head in Kibum’s neck and his lips pressed onto his skin. He slides his head back in embarrassment.

“W-what time is it?”

“Only 9:30. We woke up early before.”

The only one up is Jonghyun who is in the kitchen doing dishes. He welcomes the two into the kitchen, showing them where everything is. “How’s Kibum treating you?” Jonghyun asks the shy Taemin.

“Very well,” he nervously smiles.

“He’s a good boy deep down but I think it might have to do with a tiny little crush on the baker’s son across the road, eh?” He teases and Kibum stands up, immediately objecting. Taemin’s face turns fifty shades of embarrassed and he looks anywhere but Kibum.

“Don’t mind him. He’s being a dick,” Kibum says, using big hand gestures to hide the truth behind Jonghyun’s words. He sits back down and starts munching furiously on his Cheerio’s. Jonghyun claps Kibum on the shoulder and continues to do the dishes.

“Anything special you two are doing today?” Jonghyun asks, changing the subject like the previous one was never brought up.

“We haven’t decided yet. It’s up to Taemin. Whatever he wants to do.” Kibum looks to Taemin.

“I want to go somewhere that is beautiful in the snow,” Taemin says, knowing that it’s going to snow today. Kibum winks at him, signalling that he’s got the perfect plan.

“That’s a cute wish. You better make it cute Kim Kibum,” Jonghyun comments.

“Yah, what do you think of me? I’m going to make this Taemin’s best day ever!”

“Well,”

“Shut up.”

Taemin gets excited.

Kibum packs a bag with anything they might need, insisting that Taemin leaves his at home so he can freely run around in his red winter jacket and the hat with a little pompon at the top that jiggles as he jumps or runs. Taemin is wearing his colourful sweater today because Kibum saw Taemin looking at it and complimented it, boosting Taemin’s confidence instantly.

They go to a grocery shop first because Taemin has expressed a desire for banana milk through big eyes and jumping on the spot with his hands folded under his chin. Kibum insists on paying for Taemin, who has forgotten anything but the banana milk. He rips one right out of the four pack as soon as they leave the shop.

“I haven’t had this in so long.” He jumps in happiness and offers Kibum a sip.

“The taste is very… Taemin. It doesn’t surprise me at all that you like this.”

Taemin is beaming with happiness as they walk through Seoul together. “How do you manage to be constantly cute? Even when you sleep and you unconsciously end up kissing my collar bone.” Taemin hides behind his almost empty banana milk.

“Don’t ask me that. I’m shy.” Kibum laughs loudly.

“I think I knew that already,” he chuckles. “You’re shyer than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s damn charming for some reason,” Kibum jokes truthfully.

“Me?” Kibum takes Taemin’s gloved hand in his own without a word. They endeavour on a long walk through Seoul without any specific goal. Whenever Taemin spots something familiar he points it out to his only friend, who listens very carefully to every excited word leaving the youngers mouth. He listens to stories about how his parents bought him one of the finest pastries in Seoul but he still found his parents’ better. Kibum explains his journey from Daegu to Seoul and then to Taemin’s little town. Taemin looks like he isn’t breathing when Kibum talks to him. He absorbs every word with care.

“I used to live in that room we sleep in. They keep it free for when I come back for business or just to visit. It’s very generous of them.” Taemin takes a sip of his second banana milk. Kibum gets another sip and a bright smile. The day goes by like this. Banana milk and mindless talk about cities, childhood and snow. In a way, it’s better than anything they could have thought of doing.

They eat at a fancy restaurant where they don’t fit in but Kibum wants to spend big on Taemin. They end up moaning a little too loud at the best steak they’ve ever had, making the tables around them stare and the waiters roll their eyes.

Taemin drinks his last banana milk as Kibum brings him to a place he holds very dear. “I’m taking you to my favourite place in Seoul,” he said to clueless Taemin. They leave the well-lit roads and end up on a darker street, making Taemin’s grip on Kibum’s hand grow tighter. They stop in front of a gate with a passcode lock. Kibum types the code in and then locks them into the little house. Taemin anticipates the content of the house as Kibum finds the light switch next to the door.

“It…” Taemin looks for words. “Looks like your flat back home.” Kibum laughs at his humorously true statement. “Where are we?”

“You’re right. It’s my old studio… Or not mine but I used it. I still have the key because the owner insisted. I’ve been lucky here in Seoul.” Taemin nods, looking around. He sets the banana milk down and zips down his jacket as he spots Kibum de-coating himself. Kibum takes his jacket and hangs it next to his own. “I once spent 24 hours straight here. Thank god there’s a coffee machine.”

“You’d be dead without coffee,” Taemin snickers. He receives a nudge on the shoulder.

“Coffee?” Kibum asks, cracking up at the timing of his question. “What a one-liner, huh?” Taemin giggles with a hand covering his mouth and Kibum’s heart melts at the sight. He makes coffee as Taemin empties the banana milk. They sit down at the paint stained table in the middle of the room.

“It’s a little cold in here.” Taemin shivers. Kibum finds a blanket.

“Can I draw you again?” Kibum bites his lip in anticipation. Taemin nods his head, used to it by now. Kibum fetches his notebook in his bag and a newly sharpened pencil. He starts drawing and Taemin takes a sip of the coffee.

“When did you realise you were gay?” Kibum asks as he sketches Taemin’s outline. Taemin has gotten used to the questions when Kibum draws him. That’s how it always goes.

“I never liked girls. When the boys talked about Girls Generation I was daydreaming about TVXQ.” Kibum chuckles and comments that Changmin does serve some serious looks.

“Do your parents know?”

“Mhm, they do. I didn’t even have to tell them,” he chuckles. “One day they asked me: ‘Taemin, do you like boys?’ And I said yes.”

“If only the rest of Korea would be as chill about it as your parents,” Kibum smiles hopelessly. Taemin frowns, feeling that feeling of being wrong in everyone’s eyes. Kibum sends him an understanding smile and it takes a moment for Taemin to process that fact.

“Are you…” Taemin trails off. Kibum looks up from his notebook.

“Gay?” Taemin nods once. “Yes.” Taemin gulps as Kibum drops his gaze back down to the drawing. “I’m curious what you think about me.” Kibum cocks his head to the side as he studies Taemin’s features for the millionth time to double check that he has memorised them just right. “I want to know what your thoughts were when you sat and stared at me for two hours straight during the meeting. I want to know what goes through your head when you’re with me.” There’s hesitation and a faint blush before any words are spoken.

“I spent two hours predicting how cute you’d look in the morning.”

“What was the conclusion of that?”

“You exceeded expectations,” Taemin smiles, having always wanted to say that. Today, Kibum made it slip right out of him because that’s what Kibum does to him. He makes Taemin more courageous yet shyer than he already is.

“Are you saying you didn’t think I’d look as good as I did? I’m extremely offended,” Kibum jokes and Taemin laughs dumbfoundedly. Kibum cracks a smile at the drawing. “Did you think of anything else or was the thought of my messy hair good enough for two hours of entertainment?” Taemin wafts a hand blushingly in Kibum’s direction.

“I did,” Taemin starts. Kibum is all ears even if his eyes shift between Taemin and the paper. “I became curious about your past relationships, like what kind of people were they? How long? Why didn’t they last? I’m very curious. Especially now.” Kibum is open especially with Taemin, yet Taemin has a hard time figuring him out. He figures it’s because he isn’t an artist.

“I’ve been in a few. They were all pretty normal which I guess makes it why they didn’t last. They weren’t special to me.”

“What is special to you?” Kibum falls silent, pausing the pencil’s journey on the paper.

“When I sketch you, it feels special. I’ve found you to become quite the muse.” He follows up with a chuckle. An anxious atmosphere cuddles itself into the room, right in between the two boys. “I find you more beautiful than anything I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” Taemin almost slides down on the floor from the compliment. Kibum chuckles.

“Every time you say that my insides crumble a little.” Kibum continues to draw as he watches Taemin’s insides crumble a little.

“Why?”

“Because you… You’re so effortlessly beautiful. F-from the way you,” Taemin pauses due to a tongue-tying emergency. “Bat your eyelashes to how you laugh at me kindly.” Kibum laughs at him kindly. “And when you come to save me from bullies with fire in your eyes. That’s beautiful too. I-I actually really, really love you, Kibum,” he laughs shyly yet brightly. Kibum joins in.

“I love you too, Taemin.” Taemin is too shy to get Kibum to elaborate on that so he sits quietly as Kibum draws him. “It’s comfortable,” Kibum adds to the conversation. “I find you very comfortable to be around, Taemin.”

“Y-you do?” Kibum hums contently.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I always smile around you.” Taemin remembers the day they met and the day Kibum scared away his bullies. He remembers Yusei’s words and then Jonghyun’s. He remembers the portrait and the blanket (much like now) and his lips curve slightly upwards.

“I guess I never considered that,” he replies. “I never take it as a given that someone is fond of me. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because no one has ever shown interest in me. No one’s ever even kissed me.” Kibum sets the drawing down on the table and moves his chair closer to Taemin’s. He gently pushes Taemin’s face up by his chin and moves his face very close to Taemin’s, testing the waters. Taemin seems paralysed and Kibum takes that as a good sign. He lets his hand move from Taemin’s chin up to cupping his face. Taemin stares into Kibum’s intense eyes because they stared first. Their noses touch. Eyes close and breathing becomes suddenly deafening in the quiet room. Kibum pushes away the last bit of space between their lips. The kiss is slow and their lips move with a tenderness that calms Taemin in this heart racing situation. Taemin tries to follow Kibum as he falls into his lips, his hands reaching for any part of Kibum to hold onto. Their kiss erases their idea of time. It stays slow and innocent because Kibum wants to keep Taemin intact, fearing that he might break at too much pressure.

When Kibum pulls his lips back, Taemin becomes sticky as glue. He pulls Kibum out of his chair and into a tight hug. With Kibum’s right hand in Taemin’s hair and the left one around his waist, Taemin snuggles as close to Kibum as he can get.

“Better than banana milk and pastries with powdered sugar,” Taemin mumbles into the crook of Kibum’s neck.

“You actually tasted like coffee and banana milk,” Kibum chuckles. “But I agree. Better than snow falling from the sky.” Taemin looks up and Kibum brushes his messy hair away from his eyes. “I promised you to take you somewhere that’s beautiful in the snow,” Kibum reminds him.

“Haven’t you already?”

“Put your jacket back on.” Kibum lets go of Taemin slowly and they put their jackets on. “We’re going out the back door,” Kibum explains as he grabs onto Taemin’s hand. He opens the back door to what seems like a garden but the darkness makes it hard to tell. The only thing they can clearly see is the untouched snow. Taemin is already excited. The excitement turns into a moment of speechlessness as Kibum clicks another switch and fairy lights light up the trees. The snow starts to sparkle like glitter.

Taemin stares without realising that he’s squeezing Kibum’s hand quite hard. The garden as least as big as the house and there are eight naked cherry blossom trees, now lit with fairy lights, standing along stone steps that lead to the top of the garden. Taemin looks back at Kibum, expressing his curiosity. Kibum nods and Taemin rushes to the steps with Kibum’s hand still in his. There’s a stone bench at the top that they reach within a few seconds because Taemin’s tempo is anything but slow. Kibum brushes the snow off the bench for Taemin who smiles from ear to ear as he sits down. They sit and stare at the snow and the lights, both in awe and slightly drunk from the kiss they shared moments earlier.

“I would love to kiss you again,” Taemin says, looking at the trees.

“I would love to always be able to kiss you,” Kibum replies.

“You can.” Taemin looks over at his favourite boy in the whole world. “Would I be the only one that you’d kiss?” Kibum nods at his favourite boy in the whole world.

“Only you, always you.” Taemin blushes and Kibum grabs the chance to kiss him again, throwing both of his arms around his neck. Taemin squeals in surprise, making Kibum stop and pull his head back to smile at his little man. They kiss and then they kiss again and then one more time before Taemin starts to let out silly giggles.

“Let’s play tag,” Kibum suggests, feeling the innocent happiness from Taemin radiate onto him. Taemin chuckles and Kibum tags him, running away in the knee-high snow. Taemin comes running and he’s faster than Kibum had expected. He quickly catches up and jumps at Kibum, tackling him into the snow. “You’re more than what meets the eye, Taemin,” Kibum laughs and he kisses Taemin’s nose.

“How does it feel to be tackled by a shy little idiot?”

“Surprisingly lovely.” Kibum pecks Taemin’s soft lips, not able to get enough of them. Taemin pecks Kibum in return and they stay in the snow until Kibum feels his back getting too cold and moist for his liking.

They go back home to Kibum’s friends, who are being loud in the living room. Kibum delivers them the message that two will be going to bed now. He comes back to find Taemin already in his pyjamas and toothpaste foaming in his mouth. Kibum laughs at the sight. He finishes brushing his teeth and jumps into bed, waiting for Kibum who comes in soon after, charging for Taemin. He jumps down on him and attacks him with small kisses.

“Kibuuum,” Taemin giggles.

“Hello, boyfriend.” Taemin dies a million times, hiding his face behind his pillow as he listens to Kibum’s warm laughter ringing merrily in his ears. “You’re by far the cutest boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

“You’re all I’ve ever had.” Taemin props himself up on his elbow with Kibum sitting in front of him.

“Oh, shut up. That bully of yours is so in love with you.” Taemin shakes his head, laughing. “He sure as hell has a huge inferior complex he needs to deal with.” Kibum rolls his eyes, making Taemin giggle again. “You’re beautiful, Taemin.” Kibum smiles as he pushes Taemin down on his back, propping himself above him on his elbows.

“I don’t believe you.”

“That’s a real shame.” Kibum leans down to kiss Taemin, bringing his tongue in the game which startles Taemin whose hands shoot to Kibum’s arms. He digs his nails into them at the new sensation. Taemin feels Kibum moving his mouth away from his own, down to his neck. He gasps at the tickling feeling of lips, teeth and tongue on his neck. He feels the blood rush to his groin as Kibum bites on his earlobe.

“K-Kibum,” he moans in a choked whisper.

“I’m in love with every bit of you.” Kibum proceeds to slide off Taemin’s t-shirt, making him comfortably uncomfortable. He trembles every time Kibum’s hands grace his skin. Taemin is stripped down to his boxers. He feels incredibly conscious. He’s never been this close to naked in this way before and it makes his heart beat right out of his chest. When Kibum moves his kisses down Taemin’s upper body, Taemin starts to freak out. He picks Kibum’s face up from his stomach and Kibum looks questioningly up into Taemin’s eyes that are filled with a weird kind of fear.

“I’m scared,” he breathes out and it brings out the smuggest smile of Kibum’s.

“I’m only down here to please you,” Kibum comforts and Taemin releases his hold on Kibum’s head, giving up. Kibum continues to the hem of his boxers. He doesn’t waste a second to pull them down. Taemin doesn’t look. He’s scared of Kibum’s reaction. He feels a warm and moist sensation running up and down his vein, making him forget all about the fact that he’s as naked as it gets in front of someone truly mesmerising.

Kibum wraps his mouth around Taemin’s dick and he starts sliding up and down slowly. Not more than 30 seconds later, Taemin feels an oncoming orgasm. He does everything he can to hold back, not wanting to humiliate himself by finishing in less than a minute. Kibum notices instantly. He stops for a second to look up at Taemin.

“It’s okay, Taemin. Relax.” Taemin takes a deep breath and does as he’s told. The feeling comes back but this time he lets it take over and he orgasms like never before. Kibum helps Taemin to the end of his orgasm and he sits back up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Taemin breathes heavily and Kibum lies back down next to him, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek. Kibum laughs at Taemin’s breathless face, placing the duvet over him with care.

He fights to stay awake but Kibum reassures him that it’s fine with a peck.

“I’ll be right back,” Kibum whispers. He hands Taemin his underwear that he’s reaching weakly for. He goes to brush his teeth, meanwhile, Taemin is falling asleep, feeling less awkward now wearing underwear. When Kibum comes back Taemin is breathing heavily, the duvet back off him and his body filling up the whole bed. Kibum stops and stares in silence because he feels suddenly overwhelmed by his luck to have found such a beautiful boy that is now sleeping in a shared bed with powdered sugar falling from the sky outside. He shuffles himself around Taemin, holding him in a soft grip.

Taemin sleeps on Kibum’s shoulder on the train. He’s been tired since last night and Kibum has now found that tired Taemin is one of the cutest kinds of Taemin. Taemin slops out of the train after Kibum and they walk down the main road of their small town once again. Kibum follows Taemin all the way inside the shop where Kibum suddenly feels awkward standing in his boyfriend’s parents’ shop with Taemin who is still in a daze from the night before. Taemin throws his backpack down and pulls Kibum into a tight hug.

“Thank you, Kibum,” Taemin mumbles into Kibum’s neck. “I love you.” Kibum smiles down at the boy in his arm.

“I love you too.” Kibum kisses the top of Taemin’s head, forgetting the world around him. Taemin raises his head to place a kiss on Kibum’s lips. This is when they both realise where they are and who is in the room with them. Taemin turns his head to find his parents smiling at him happily.

“Good weekend?” His mother asks him and he nods with his signature blush that Kibum can’t help but kiss on. Kibum then takes an awkward step back and bows at Taemin’s parents.

“H-hello,” Kibum stutters, making Taemin smile.

“You stuttered,” Taemin beams as he suddenly feels more confident at Kibum's embarrassment. His parents smile to show that they’re nothing but happy for their son and the boy who made his eyes sparkle like the powdered sugar on his favourite pastries.


	11. Jongyu - Unspoken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff/I guess just teen issues of being alone and fear of bullying 
> 
> Wordcount: 6,2K

 It had to be the brown dress shoes and the tightly plaid trousers, that fit his legs so precisely, which made his new classmates look twice; or maybe it was the coat over blazer look with the red tie peeking out from the jacket up to his neck, where it was tied neatly. Personally, Jonghyun was sure it was the original 1920’s alloy glasses of a thin round frame that earned him the glances; on second thought, it was probably the complete set that made him stand out on his very first day of school. On top of being the new student at the front of the classroom with all eyes on him, he achieved a different sort of look from them. He caught a girl rolling her eyes and a boy whispering to his friend whose reaction was a secretive grin and a muted chuckle. Jonghyun had to admit that it was slightly alienating to stand in front of so many looks of judgement, disinterest, even disgust. However, at the very back of the classroom, Jonghyun found two orbs of interest. They looked curious and Jonghyun found it calming to keep his focus there.

“Take a seat down at the back. There are a few empty ones,” his teacher told him with a welcoming smile. Her eyes showed an interest that made Jonghyun sure this class was taught with a strong passion for the subject. He sat down at the back, behind a girl with short black hair. The boy with the curious eyes sat at the next table alone. Jonghyun would have sat down right beside him but had found the empty table next to his much less of a confrontation on his very first day.

Jonghyun had to admit that he felt nervous about the new beginning. The strange looks that his presumably outdated style had gotten him did not make it any better. He told himself from his place at the back that it could have gone worse. There was still the boy with the big, kind eyes who was sitting at the next table all alone like Jonghyun did at his own. He wondered if the boy’s friends were sick or absent for some other reason. Oh, how he wondered about that boy throughout the otherwise interesting class. The only real information Jonghyun got out of that class was that the boy’s name was Lee Jinki and that was much more important to Jonghyun at this moment than anything about the history of Korea. He had already gone through all of this at his last school anyways.

No one came up to Jonghyun that day and he was quite okay staying by himself. Being alone was one of Jonghyun’s many specialities and something he enjoyed very much. From the corner of the canteen, he achieved himself a good overview of the rest of the room. Only very few dared to go into the canteen without any table companion. Jonghyun could count to three, none of which were Jinki, who seemed to be spending his break elsewhere.

The first thing that Jonghyun heard Jinki say was “On Mondays Simon plays basketball at 4:30 pm.” The English teacher, who was a British man, complimented Jinki on his pronunciation. Jonghyun had stared at Jinki’s mouth as a smooth and deep sounds escaped it. He was impressed with the pillowy tone that Jinki spoke in.

At 4:30 pm Jonghyun was not playing basketball but arriving home from a long, exhausting day. He threw his bag up against his desk and dove face first into his bed, only to fall asleep in a matter of minutes, before he would have to get up again to do the day’s homework.

Jonghyun’s second day was much like his first. He spent most of it alone with his mouth shut as he observed his new schoolmates. He wanted to spot all the details before they would come in handy, like the hierarchy, the dynamics and, of course, where the nearest exits were for any unwanted collision with the top dogs. He would spend class with as much focus on his teacher as his mind could muster. Only a few times would he glance over at Jinki, who would either be scribbling notes into his notebook that looked like an organised mess from where Jonghyun was sitting, or he would be looking up at the teacher and nodding very subtly at every point made.

During the lunch break, Jonghyun searched for a change of scene. He sat down on the wide stone staircase up to the school’s main entrance. He threw a pair of headphones on and dug into his packed lunch. As Love-Sadkid blasted into Jonghyun’s ears with grace, he found Jinki walking up the stairs with his eyes on him and an oddly smug smile on his face. Jonghyun smiled back in wonder and touched his face to ensure there were no food stains around his mouth. Jinki was out of sight when Jonghyun looked back up.

The bell called it an early day at 2:45. Jonghyun packed up his things and left the building alone. He walked behind the two noisy boys from the very front of the class as they were talking and laughing all the way out of the building. The noisiest one put his arm around his friend and this made Jonghyun feel lonely for the first time at his new school. He moved his gaze to his feet instead and wished for another pair to appear next to his. He turned to the right as he reached the road with his eyes still looking downwards.  _At least they have each other_ , Jonghyun thought, directed at his feet. As he got away from the noise of the students rushing from school, a new sound appeared. The sound of jogging sneakers accompanied his own expensive clacking and soon a pair of feet came into view and an arm was flung around Jonghyun’s shoulder. He looked up in surprise to find the same smug smile he did at lunch but much closer, so much closer.

“Hello, Kim Jonghyun.” His tone was honey-sweet yet weirdly cocky. Jonghyun’s expression was of surprise as he clutched tightly onto his brown leather briefcase.

“Hi, Lee Jinki.” Jinki kept smiling like the situation did not faze him at all and it made Jonghyun feel at a loss for words. He just listened to the sound of Jinki’s coat rubbing lightly against his own until it made his lips curl upwards subtly. They walked silently like this. Jonghyun’s left hand on his briefcase, the right in his pocket. Jinki’s right arm casually around Jonghyun’s shoulder and his left hand on the strap of his yellow backpack. Both of their eyes on their feet that had matched up to each other’s rhythms.

“I have to turn,” Jinki broke the long silence. They slowed down to a halt at the corner. Jonghyun looked up at Jinki.

“Oh,” was all he managed to say, hardly hiding his disappointment.

“Tomorrow, 7:30 am on this corner,” Jinki announced before turning on his heel with that strange smile that made Jonghyun stare after him for a little longer than what was considered normal… or decent.

Jonghyun had certainly had his doubts about Jinki’s intentions on their silent walk. He was worried that a mean prank or some fucked up ritual was being pulled on him. Yet, when he arrived at the empty corner at 7:27 that morning, he was not at all worried. There was something about the look and the odd smile from the day before, that made Jonghyun feel that he was understood. At exactly 7:30, Jinki waltzed up to Jonghyun and threw his arm around his shoulder like he had done the day before.

“I wonder what you wear for PE,” Jinki shared as they began to walk. Jonghyun was, once again, only left with the option of staring with his mouth agape as if he were to speak. Jinki kept smiling.

“Just shorts and a t-shirt,” Jonghyun managed to emit from his paralysed mouth.

Between two of Jinki’s fingers was the fabric of Jonghyun’s coat and Jonghyun sighed at the tingle that it created through the several layers.

In the empty classroom, Jinki sat down in his usual spot and Jonghyun glanced at the empty chair by Jinki’s table. Jinki smiled smugly and pushed out the chair with his foot. Jonghyun exhaled deeply, realising he had been holding his breath and he set his bag down on the floor next to Jinki’s bright yellow one.

At this point, not a lot of words had been exchanged between them and Jonghyun was thirsty for knowledge of what was happening behind that odd smile when a couple of students came into the classroom and disturbed their silence.

“Keep away from that guy. He is easily offended,” Jinki pointed. Jonghyun had already guessed this from his concentrated people-watching during his first two days. Their eyes met again and Jinki winked. “I see you’ve already observed quite a bit, maybe you already knew.”

“Was I that obvious?” Jonghyun chuckled in embarrassment. Jinki shook his head with a slow, dance-like movement and his grin returned to his face.

“I’m just more of a pro than you are,” he whispered and turned away to get his books from his bag.

_The less one will speak, the more of a mystery one will become._

Jinki’s arm rested comfortably on Jonghyun’s shoulders on the way home. “What was your old school like?” Jinki asked with a head tilt.

“Louder. There was so much noise and it was directed towards me a lot.” With Jinki’s nod, an understanding between the two was founded and Jonghyun felt less alone with his worries and with his thoughts, as with everything that Jinki seemingly understood.

“Hmm,” Jinki said. “What do you do to de-stress?”

“I play the bass,” Jonghyun answered without a second of hesitation. Jonghyun saw a fire ignite in Jinki’s eyes and they made Jonghyun want to use his words, that Jinki otherwise made so hard for him to find. “Wanna see? I’ll take you to where I work.”

Jinki waited outside while Jonghyun collected his bass from his flat. He came back down with a case on his back. Jinki’s arm snuggled in between Jonghyun and the bass where it would usually go and without a word, they walked. Jonghyun would steal glances at Jinki here and there and Jinki would play with the collar of Jonghyun’s coat so respectfully and so peacefully. Their slight, yet significant height difference made their way of walking together perfectly comfortable, perfectly perfect.

“You work here… As what?”

“I teach kids how to play.” Jonghyun pressed down on the doorknob. The room was small and lit up with the low autumn sun shining through the big windows. Jonghyun took a seat and plugged his bass into the speaker. “What do you like?” Jinki cocked his head to the side and grinned smugly.

“Bass players.” There was a moment of silence before the two broke into a fit of laughter. It was hard for Jonghyun not to look at Jinki as they laughed because Jinki’s face turned a shade of happy that Jonghyun had never experienced before. His smile was so wide that his delightfully crooked teeth and even his gums showed while his eyes completely disappeared into their own creases.

“I meant style of music but I’ll take that,” Jonghyun spoke up. He plugged his phone into the little speaker behind him. His hands grazed the bass.  His fingers touched the four fat strings of his bass as he sang quietly along to the sugary song, that had been his favourite since Jinki’s funny smile pointed at him for the first time.

It was during this, that Jonghyun would steal a glance at Jinki and realise exactly what he was doing to Jonghyun. It was then, that he realised how Jinki’s eyes and Jinki’s smile had a healthy power over him. It was then that he realised how much he wished for his insecurities to be comforted by the arm around his shoulder. It was then that he realised how much he needed the boy in front of him, how much he needed the lack of loneliness.

And then Jinki smiled that new smile. Oh, fuck, how Jinki smiled that smile so well. Somehow Jinki opened up in the little space and Jonghyun felt as if in on a special secret. The sound of Jinki’s silence changed its tone with the sound of Jonghyun’s voice.

“You listen to lo-fi.” The connection had been made with the glistening eyes and all the sweet, sweet wonder.

“It understands me, whether I’m gloomy or hopeful. It’s music that never hurts… It soothes.”  _Like an arm over the shoulder, eh?_

Jinki scanned the walls before stating that Jonghyun had it nice here. Jonghyun agreed politely and they both wondered why that was. Jinki’s chuckle flowed out of him like a symphony that Jonghyun’s bass could never compete with.

Jonghyun’s mind had been infiltrated by small smiles and short sentences that would haunt him for the rest of the day. He sat on his balcony with his laptop, distractions in the shape of crooked teeth fell over his head as he tried to focus on the words he was writing. Everything he wrote appeared to correlate to Jinki in some way, shape or form. He did not hit himself over the head, no, because Jonghyun was a smart young man. His distraction became his inspiration, another secret to keep.

“When do you teach bass then?” Jinki asked after Jonghyun’s kind decline to coffee after school.

“From 5-7 every Thursday.” Jinki nodded and Jonghyun felt a squeeze on his shoulder.

Jonghyun settled down in his chair with his bass and plugged it into the speaker. He leant back and stared up at the white ceiling with a long-drawn breath. Jinki had been forcing himself into Jonghyun’s mind in the form of questions and wonders. The most pressing wonders were of the minimal conversation the two had engaged in and how Jonghyun seemed to lose his sense of words in Jinki’s presence, the element of surprise and that arm… So many questions that could not really form themselves into questions.

Seohyun walked through the door with her father and took Jonghyun’s attention away from his thoughts. She beamed with pride and excitement over her newly cut fringe that Jonghyun greatly complimented. His father said hello and goodbye and left the room. 10-year-old Seohyun sat down on the chair opposite Jonghyun's and plugged her bass in. She pulled out her folder with all of Jonghyun’s messy illustrations and instructions on them.

“Alright, did you practice what I showed you last time? I know it was a little hard but I’m sure you’ve mastered it.” Seohyun grinned from ear to ear and pulled her bass up close.

“I did my best.” She played the homework perfectly and Jonghyun clapped. “Mr Kim, why were you looking up at the ceiling like that when I came in?” She tilted her head in curiosity and Jonghyun chuckled. He found it amazing what kids could pick up on, not that he had been very subtle.

“I just changed schools, so I have some worries,” Jonghyun smiled and expected it to be over at that.

“About friends? Do they bully you?” She frowned up at Jonghyun.

“No, not at all. I found a friend… Kind of. I don’t know about him.”

“Do you like talking to him?” Jonghyun sat in thought for a second.

“Well, we don’t talk that much.”

“My dad says that a person that you can just be quiet with is a person you are very comfortable with.”

“Your dad is a clever man,” Jonghyun smiled at Seohyun for a moment before they got back on track.

Jonghyun stopped in his tracks in front of the glass doors on his way out and the strap of his guitar bag slid down his right shoulder. His eyes met another familiar pair before he gathered the strength to pull the glass door open.

“Hey there. I thought you’d might like some company on your way home.” Jinki mixed the first and the last smile that he had flashed Jonghyun. The smugness was present but the happiness was dominating and it made Jonghyun desperately want to smile back. Jinki’s arm found its usual resting place, nuzzled between Jonghyun’s neck and the case on his back. It was silent as usual until they reached the inevitable corner.

“Still thirsty for some coffee?” Jonghyun dared to ask and got an interested look in return. “I’ll serve you some at my place. It’s not far.” Jinki kept his arm where it was resting so well and let Jonghyun lead the way.

His parents had said a quick hello before Jonghyun showed Jinki to his bedroom. He trusted few in his room alone but somehow Jinki was one of them. He stood in the kitchen as a cloud occupied his mind; it was wearing a kindly smug smile and had curious eyes. The coffee was on the trey and Jonghyun walked towards the hypnotising thing inside of his bedroom. Jonghyun was determined. Jonghyun was going to ask questions. Jinki was found looking through Jonghyun’s books.

“You have a lot of poetry on your shelves,” Jinki commented before turning away from the bookshelf. Jonghyun poured Jinki a cup before filling his own, as any good host would do. He pulled the hoodie over his head and threw it in the corner of his bed that he then offered Jinki to sit down on. Jonghyun sat on his rug and poured milk into the brown warmth in the cup as old as his glasses.

“Do you read poetry?” Jonghyun asked before burning his tongue on the scolding coffee. He flinched and Jinki’s lip quivered upwards.

“I like words.” Jonghyun snickered at the irony as his left eyebrow raised in judgement.

“That’s funny.” Jinki cocked his head to the side with a wondering smirk. He wafted his hand in the air as to cast Jonghyun’s comment aside. This made Jonghyun laugh a little harder, and with that, he accidentally fell in a little deeper. “I like words too.”

“I’m surprised you don’t talk more. I thought you’d be a talker.”

“Ditto.”

“Why?”

“Your smile… It’s so bright, but now I understand that your smile is your words. When you smile at me I know what you’re telling me. It’s, it’s quite extraordinary.” As if on cue, Jinki smiles at Jonghyun.

“Wanna hear a secret?” Jonghyun edges closer and Jinki smiles again. “I actually love talking… I bet you’re more of a singer.” Jonghyun furrows his eyebrows. “You sing your feelings.” This time it is Jonghyun, who replies with a sly smile that indicates that his lyrics are something he prides himself on.

“I think you should talk more if you love it so much.”

“Is that not what I am doing right now?”

“I guess so.” They smile at each other and Jonghyun’s chest tightens in relief of having been found by someone who cares. He wonders if Jinki feels it too.

Jinki empties the content of his cup. “I should go before it gets too late.” Jonghyun nods and gets up with Jinki.

“I’ll follow you home.” Jinki smiles very honestly.

Jonghyun’s eyes light up at the sight of Jinki’s cosy house. He is so tempted to go inside with Jinki but he keeps quiet. Jinki knows when he sees Jonghyun’s smile. He huffs out air.

“It’s small, but I like it.”

“I like it too.” Jonghyun turns to look at Jinki and feels taller so suddenly. “Thank you for today. I was glad to see your smile so unexpectedly.”

“I was happy to see yours too.” And then Jonghyun gets kissed right on his smile and Jinki’s steps fade and silence with the smack of a door. He stands until he feels the autumn chill creep under his jacket.

Jinki’s arm is the main source of comfort and support that Jonghyun realises he has at school. The weird looks have not stopped since he started and he feels it is only a matter of time before they turn into harsh words. He awaits them with such anxiety that he jumps at any harsh sound that could possibly be directed towards him.

“You’re just fine,” Jinki says as they go to lunch. Jonghyun looks at him. “You’re not alone here.” He feels the warm squeeze to his shoulder.

It does not take long before Jonghyun becomes wary of the footsteps and laughter behind them. They have a suspicious sound to them that makes Jonghyun push himself closer to Jinki in search of comfort. Jinki feels the pressure to his side and turns his head to find Jonghyun taking his glasses away from his big round eyes and into his bag.

“I don’t have a good feeling about this.” He gestures very subtly towards the boys behind them. Jinki sees the fear in Jonghyun’s dilating pupils and he stops walking to look back. He removes his arm and grabs Jonghyun by his. The group stops behind them. Jinki smiles at them in a different way than how he smiles at Jonghyun.

“Gentlemen,” he greets and the boys just stare. Jonghyun pulls at Jinki’s arm. One of them flashes an evil grin. Jinki tightens his grip on Jonghyun’s arm. “If you’ll excuse us for a moment.” Jinki shoots for the corner and Jonghyun is forced with him and he almost trips. The boys behind them are fast but both Jonghyun and Jinki outrun them in terms of stamina. They end up with their hands on their knees, catching their breaths on a narrow street as far as their feet would take them.

“We’re lucky they weren’t jocks,” Jinki jokes and Jonghyun gives him an exhausted push that makes Jinki lose balance. Jonghyun puts his glasses back on.

“You good down there?” Jonghyun chuckles and Jinki smiles smugly up at him with his hand stretched out in hope of help from the kindly mocking Jonghyun. “We better get some lunch and head back,” Jonghyun struggles to say as he grabs Jinki’s hand.

_Jinki changed Jonghyun’s name to Mr Authentic glasses_

Mr Authentic glasses:  _Was that really necessary? -.-_

Jinki:  _“They might have broken my glasses! They’re authentic!”_

_Mr Authentic glasses changed Jinki’s name to Mr Bad balance_

Mr Bad balance:  _I fell once._

Mr Authentic glasses:  _I barely touched you._

Mr Bad balance:  _Just come over._

Mr Authentic glasses: _Now?_

Mr Bad balance:  _Yes. Bring a toothbrush and an extra set of clothes._

Jonghyun sees the scene play in his head again as he stands exactly where he did last night. His fingers grace his bottom lip before they get to the doorbell. In seconds, Jinki stands in front of him in sports shorts and a grey oversized t-shirt with a washed out logo for something Jonghyun does not recognise.

“What was with the sudden invitation?” Jinki shrugs and smiles hopefully at Jonghyun. He smiles back and steps inside with a curious eye and a polite mind. He takes off his shoes and looks for anyone he might have to say hello to.

“I’m home alone tonight.” The smile from before sinks in with Jonghyun completely and he points to his bag. “In here.” Jinki leads Jonghyun to his bedroom. It is small yet made very spacious somehow. There’s a big bed in the corner, dominating the room. It makes just enough room for a desk and a closet and a little setting of books that can barely be described as a bookshelf, but it is flattering in Jinki’s private space that has been opened so willingly to Jonghyun.

Jonghyun puts his bag down on the floor and sits down on Jinki’s bed where Jinki has already thrown himself. He stares at Jonghyun with that smile in a brief moment, too brief. Oh, fuck, how Jinki smiles that smile so well. Jonghyun pushes his glasses up his nose and finds the grin back yet again.

“I used to be friends with one of those guys,” Jinki shares.

“From earlier?” Jinki nods.

“It stings more that way, when you know them.” Jonghyun is startled that Jinki confesses a weakness with words and Jonghyun realises that there are a lot more crooked teeth behind Jinki’s smile than he had believed.

“It stings more that way,” Jonghyun agrees and lays a hand on Jinki’s thigh. The small caress is timid and soft yet Jonghyun finds the physical contact so much more sensual than otherwise. He remembers the kiss again and his hand gives Jinki’s thigh a small squeeze before retreating.

Jonghyun’s mouth quivers with hesitation. Jinki raises his eyebrows in curiosity and Jonghyun is forced to speak. “Are you okay?” Jinki nods slowly. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Jinki does that thing where he pushes his head to the side as his eyes glisten with questions and his lips quiver upwards.

“Thanks for making sure.” Jonghyun grabs Jinki’s hand; spur of the moment thing. Jinki stands up, mumbling about something to drink so Jonghyun follows him into the kitchen. The atmosphere is set by the lamp that shines down on the wooden dining table and the sound of the boiler. They sit down opposite each other and the warm light hits both of their faces. _Faces look honest in this light_ , Jonghyun thinks. The boiler clicks but no one gets up.

“Are there any plans for tonight?”

“No.”

“Good.” The corner of Jinki’s mouth twitches upwards with a huff. He rises from his chair and pulls down a pot and pours tea into the filter. The steaming water flows into the pot and changes colour. Jonghyun watches Jinki from the back and his mind rushes back to the kiss one more time. His eyes wander up and down the slender back that is covered by his grey t-shirt. He turns around with the teapot in his hands.

“My mum wants to meet you. She says you seem like a true friend.”

“Why?”

“Because I smile more now.” Jonghyun cracks a grin so that Jinki cannot resist flashing his own.

“I smile more too.”

“I talk more too…” Jonghyun laughs at that and Jinki pours them both tea.

It is late when Jinki and Jonghyun finish talking about childhood, music, tea and everything else on their lists of interests. They delved deep and reached high. Jinki yawns and Jonghyun wishes they would never have to sleep.

“Mellow,” Jinki mumbles. Jonghyun nods. Jinki slides into bed first and makes room for Jonghyun.

“We’re not done talking yet.”

“Will we ever be?” Jinki asks in a cheerful whisper. Jonghyun shakes his head. He sits back up and pulls off his shirt. It is easy to tell that Jinki stares for a little longer than what is considered normal… or decent.

“Is it okay?” Jonghyun asks, gesturing to his shirt that is now on the floor next to the bed. Jinki nods sweetly at Jonghyun’s chest because eyes wander, don’t they? Jonghyun sees and he laughs like he had not looked at Jinki earlier. Jonghyun sits on the edge of the bed. He takes off his trousers as he remembers how he had looked at the clothed back earlier. He would go insane if he was lying where Jinki is right now. He turns around to find a stiff body with eyes that hide lust (quite poorly). Jonghyun chuckles as he lies back down.

“I love body shapes.” Jinki is now the one sitting up and struggling with his trousers. Jinki looks down into Jonghyun’s slightly seductive eyes. Jonghyun blinks and the look has been hidden. Jinki manages to push the trousers off and throws them over Jonghyun and down on the floor. He looks down at his t-shirt but he does not dare. He lies back down with his back up against the wall and his eyes on Jonghyun’s hand that lies in the gap between them. “There’s something about the way it can writher and roll that fascinates me.” Jinki nods. “But the face… It can say so much without the use of words.”

“Like what?”

“Like ‘help’ or ‘thank you’ or ‘fuck, I need you’,” Jonghyun chuckles.

“What does my face tell you?”

“Many things, a million things. You have a way of talking with your eyes.” Jinki smiles and his tense body falls relaxed onto his own bed.

Jonghyun wakes up in a dark room, only a tiny ray of moonlight is shining through Jinki’s bedroom window. Jinki is breathing heavily beside him, right beside him, actually. It is as if the two had unconsciously moved as close together as they could without reaching the point of physical contact. The top of Jinki’s head is right in Jonghyun’s face as Jinki sleeps huddled up and Jonghyun finds it looking very comfy. He feels Jinki’s breath tingle on his naked collarbone and he dares to touch Jinki, who looks so small in this setting. He brushes his thumb against Jinki’s arm. He moves just a little closer and wraps his arm gently around Jinki’s waist and his chin rests peacefully on Jinki’s head.

The next time Jonghyun’s eyes open, they find the same exact setting as when they closed except for the morning sun streaming in where the moonlight had been. Jinki starts to rustle in the sheets at Jonghyun’s movements. He grumbles and his hand reaches out for Jonghyun’s arm. He opens his eyes and lifts his head. He is startled by the closeness and he smiles accordingly.

“Good morning. Your arm is a little cold,” Jinki says in a raspy voice as he pulls the duvet further over them. Jinki wraps an arm around Jonghyun’s naked torso and stays in his slumber for a little while longer and he drags Jonghyun with him.

“This is a nice morning,” Jonghyun says. There’s a scent to Jinki’s shampoo, he realises; honey maybe. Sounds from the kitchen make them both stir back up from their comfortable embrace.

“My mum is home… Wanna go say hi?” Jonghyun looks nervous but Jinki smiles and it makes Jonghyun wonder if his mother is just as sweet. They get dressed in lazy Saturday morning clothes and leave the small room. Jinki’s mother spots them before they can say a word. She smiles instantly and Jonghyun sees an uncanny resemblance. She brushes her bopped hair away from her face as she looks at the two with warm eyes. This is not a household that lacks love, Jonghyun is sure of it.

“Hello, you two. Kim Jonghyun, was it?” Jonghyun politely bows before answering her question. Jinki looks shy yet proud next to Jonghyun, showing him off to his mother.

“Thank you for letting me into your home.” Jonghyun pushes his glasses up and Jinki’s mother laughs.

“I didn’t have much say in it actually.” Her laugh is jolly. “But it is quite okay, Jonghyun. Please feel at home here. My son won’t mind, so neither will I.” She makes the two boys test bunnies for a new recipe for pancakes she has found online, to which they do not object. Gluttonous silence falls upon the room as the three eat their first pancakes.

“You two seem close already.” Jinki nods with a smile that mirrors his mother’s. Jonghyun hums peacefully. “It’s good to see Jinki smile more. He’s been smiling none stop all week. Before that, he would come home with a sad frown. That hurts a parent deeply.” There’s an important moment between Jonghyun and Jinki’s mother, with Jinki’s eyes on his lap they make eye contact and Jonghyun nods sincerely and knowingly. His eyes go to Jinki and they stay there.

It’s Saturday and the weather is warm for an October day, so the two end up on Jinki’s tiny back porch on his swing bench with sports shorts, blankets, hot chocolate and a computer. They share stupid videos with each other and laugh until their stomachs protest deeply. Jonghyun shows Jinki a TED talk lecture about bullying and they sit silently watching and listening. Jonghyun looks over at Jinki, who turns at this. When someone smiles at you with such insisting happiness it means nothing but pure love and reassurance. It makes Jinki move closer to Jonghyun and Jonghyun gladly throws his arm around his silent friend on the silent porch. A gust of wind rolls by and they both shiver to the point that Jinki grabs the extra blanket. He wraps it around them both and Jonghyun moves so that Jinki can lie warmly on Jonghyun’s chest and between his legs. He looks up at Jonghyun’s calm face that is looking down at his.

“Six days doesn’t feel like a lot when you just throw the number out there, but it feels like I’ve known you for six years.” Jinki nods to indicate that he knows just what Jonghyun means and the state of the two turns vulnerable as Jinki moves up so their faces meet quite closely.

“I want to know you until I’m at least 6.000,” Jinki chuckles with serious undertones to his strained voice.

“Me too, Jinki.” It is silent now like they are used to. Although, it is as though this silence awaits something of them. Jonghyun has a suspicion of what. He brings his lips to the flattened tip of Jinki’s nose. As he lets go, Jinki finds Jonghyun’s gaze and then Jinki does it again. That thing, where he puts his lips on Jonghyun’s smile. It’s not a kiss, it’s a message that he carries to Jonghyun so tenderly. Then there is a hand in Jinki’s hair and lips are pressed harder together. The resistance is thrown away. It is useless, when something so beautiful places a kiss on Jonghyun’s lips, to pretend it did not. It is useless to let it stop when Jinki loosens his grip. Jonghyun bites Jinki’s lip in an attempt to release his love into him.

Jinki feels like an idiot for welling up whereas all Jonghyun sees is a cluster of feelings released in the man, whom he loves so unconditionally.

“You say I speak well without words, but now you’re the one making me cry from a kiss.” Jonghyun wipes the tears away and holds Jinki tightly in his arms.

“It was never a crime to feel things.” Jinki allows himself to push Jonghyun’s glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“I’ve wanted to do that all week.”

“Why?”

“It looks so wholesome like you gather your strength but then you just look so charming and harmless.”

“Thanks,” Jonghyun chuckles.

It was cold on the porch and Jonghyun spends Monday through Thursday alone at school. He visits Jinki after school every day with snacks and new packs of tissues for him and a kiss on the forehead. Thursday, he goes straight home, readying himself for lessons with Seohyun. She asks about Jonghyun’s friend.

“I found his words in his eyes and in his smile.” She giggles and gives Jonghyun two proud thumbs up.

Jonghyun does not stay behind this time and he walks down with Seohyun and her father. Like last week, Jonghyun raises his gaze to open the glass door when he finds a familiar face beaming at him from the other side. He smiles widely.

“Jinki,” he exclaims as he pulls the door open. Jonghyun hugs Jinki in his big coat and Seohyun starts to laugh so joyfully.

“Is that the boy who talks with his eyes and his smile, Mr Kim?” Jinki looks down at Seohyun and then back up at Jonghyun, who nods shyly.

“That’s him.” Jinki waves and Seohyun flashes him a smile. Her father nods at the two with a kind smile.

“I think you will be okay with him Mr Kim.”

“I think so too. Thank you, Seohyun. See you next week.” They wave as Seohyun leaves with her dad. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Plenty,” Jinki playfully smiles as his arm sneaks over Jonghyun’s slender shoulders. There is nothing but love in Jinki’s touch and Jonghyun hungers deeply as they near his flat, that he knows is empty of people. Inside, all Jonghyun can think about are the words that Jinki whispered to him on the way home. It is all he can think about as he touches Jinki’s face, as he tickles his neck with small kisses, as he gets him down on the bed for best possible access. Jonghyun and Jinki spill what is hidden in the deepest parts of their hearts to each other and they stay up too long, way too long.

“I think I found my voice in your eyes,” Jinki whispers before they fall asleep, as he had done on the way home and like he would repeat so many times on important occasions because the overwhelming truth never seems to be bite-sized for either of the two.

 _The more one will speak, the more loved one has a chance of becoming;_  Jonghyun knows that now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wonder if I noticed that I changed from past tense to present, then yes; it was on purpose. I hope it had the intended effect. Love yall.
> 
> Peace.


	12. Jongyu - Lullaby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god yall, I'm back!
> 
> Fluff and loneliness (in a non-angsty way) - based on Jinki's station mv for Lullaby and Jonghyun's mv for Lonely (again).  
> Word count: 1,7K

Jonghyun's sly hands arise from the lukewarm water and find the lazily tied bow around Jinki's waist, his soapy fingers pull at it. With the loosening bow, more and more of Jinki's body is revealed to Jonghyun’s eyes. Jinki, unphased, smiles down at the bathing Jonghyun. He found it weird how all of his clothes are still on but Jonghyun, his neighbour, is a weird one. He has always known that. Jonghyun’s eyes are as big and round as a young puppy’s. He pulls at the open robe until Jinki pushes it off his shoulder. He gets pulled closer by the hem of his boxers and Jinki drops them. He slides into the tub across from the fully clothed Jonghyun. This is not the first time Jonghyun has called this late at night and had him sit in his bathtub. This is not the first time Jonghyun smiles just because Jinki is here.

Jinki has never said no to Jonghyun. Once, he ditched his friends and rode his bike all the way across town to get into the tub with Jonghyun. His friends call him obsessed but Jinki knows he is only caring for his fragile neighbour and nothing but the smile on Jonghyun’s face is worth all of that trouble.

Jonghyun and Jinki love each other. It happened after that one night where all Jonghyun wanted from Jinki was for him to taste the food he was cooking. He had stayed because he had heard the messy sentences for what they were: A little too much alone time. Jinki wrapped his arms around Jonghyun as he cooked and every so often would be fed a little taste to which he would make a satisfied humming sound. His stomach exploded with warmth, not because of the food but because of Jonghyun. It was love and it still is love in the little bathtub with his knees up to his chin and Jonghyun caressing his hand. They smile at each other until one of them shies away. It is puppy love at its most serious.

Jinki’s life was not missing anything before. Nothing before he left Jonghyun’s house for the first time. It was like the smack of the door was a gunshot right to his heart that could only be healed by Jonghyun’s aromatic presence. He smells like a lot of things, none of which are possible for Jinki to place. Jonghyun smells like Jonghyun.

Jonghyun takes his wet clothes off with some difficulty before stepping out of the bathtub. Jinki hands him the bathrobe that he so conveniently had been wearing when Jonghyun called him. Jonghyun finds Jinki a towel and he dries up until he can step into his underwear again and explore. Jinki finds the duvet sprawled on the sofa. That means Jonghyun has had an unproductive day. His finger has most likely been hovering over Jinki’s name in his contacts all day until he mustered up the courage to call after sundown.

Jinki crawls under the duvet to find the sweet smell of Jonghyun and a softness like no other. His big toe brushes up and down the soft material until Jonghyun comes back with a trey and Jinki’s robe. It goes on the floor and Jonghyun cuddles his back up against Jinki’s tummy. They share the softness and the moon’s tender light. It dances off Jonghyun’s arm and Jinki plants a few kisses there.

Jonghyun is the most comfortable when the moon and the stars are shining down on the two houses. In fact, Jinki rarely sees Jonghyun when the sun is up. He likes winter because Jonghyun calls at six instead of 10 and there is a lot more need for his warmth in the big empty house. Jinki likes it better than his own house. They are both too big for one person and it feels silly that they do not share one space together.

“I should move in.”

“Why?”

“So I don’t have to walk back and forth every night.”

“Daylight is so revealing.”

“You are already revealed to me.”

“Move in with me.”

“Why?”

“So I don’t have to be afraid of the sun every day.”

“If you get scared, I’ll sing you your favourite lullaby.”

“The lonely one?”

“The one about the boy in the bathtub.”

“I love being your moon.”

“I love being your sun.”

They are careful in the morning light on the sofa in which they still lie. They share the softness and the sun’s generous light. It dances off Jonghyun’s arm and Jinki plants a few kisses there. Jonghyun is not as scared of the light as he thought he would be. It doesn’t burn like when he is alone. He welcomes it inside as he brushes his slender fingers over Jinki’s smooth skin. Jinki is his favourite colour and his favourite sound, favourite feeling, favourite taste and favourite sight on a warm Sunday morning. Nothing beats the slow breathing, the swollen face from a comfortable night’s sleep and the grumble to his already deep voice.

They stay in and drink tea, talk in song lyrics and try to cartwheel like they did when they were children until they are draped in the early evening sunlight on Jonghyun’s wooden porch. They share a blanket and a glass of high-quality rum that he had lying around for some unknown reason.

“The sunlight suits you well.”

“You think?”

“Mhm,” Jinki mutters into Jonghyun’s skin. “Very much. So much, that I can’t stop staring.” Jonghyun hides his slender face with his stubby fingers. “You’re a flower that’s been waiting to grow. I can water you all I want but without sunlight, there is no point.” Jinki can’t help but smile as he talks to the man in his arms. He is talking cheesy gibberish but they both have a soft love for that kind of talk.

“The sun is so nice,” Jonghyun replies. His own smile is showing and wider than ever. The sun kisses them goodbye behind the trees and they both want to follow it. When the stars and the moon come out Jonghyun finds a new kind of charm in the night. One that is a lot warmer than the old one.

“If it wasn’t for the sun, the moon would slip by unnoticed every night.”

“I guess I’ve always loved the sun with the moon as the middleman.”

“They’re a good team. They keep the earth thriving together.”

Jinki’s house is quickly sold and Jinki’s stuff fills Jonghyun’s home even quicker. The house does not feel smaller but rather proportioned better. Both Jonghyun and Jinki come to like the newfound noise that comes with having another person around the house. Within the first few days, they realise that they don’t have to go through life like it only has one controller.

Jinki’s favourite thing is coming home from work to the sound of Jonghyun’s piano. He knows then, to make a cup of tea and sit on the sofa just to listen. A favourite pastime of his.

Jonghyun’s favourite thing is listening to Jinki’s breathing when sleeping is difficult for him. It calms him enough to want to fall asleep in the darkness of their shared room.

Their favourite thing is waking up at around 10 on a Saturday and leaving pecks on each other’s skin until they feel capable of getting up to spend the day together on something silly. Now and again they hang out with Jinki’s friends and have picnics at the park. At this point, they even have people over who all seem excited about the new living arrangement. Jinki often talks to Minho about it when eating lunch with him at work. He gets a little clap on the shoulder and a proud smile. All his friends know how he feels no matter how undefined it is.

The first time Jinki is forced to verbally confirm what everyone is just assuming is when Jonghyun’s mother and sister come to visit for dinner. Jonghyun is showing his sister everything that Jinki has brought to their home and Jinki is washing the dishes with Jonghyun’s mother.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For loving him. He needed it and I can tell he loves you a lot too.”

“He’s a lovable person. You raised him well.”

“He is a good boy but with a sad heart.”

“I do my best to make sure he’s happy. His happiness is my own.”

“I don’t have a doubt in my mind that you do.”

Jinki nods as a light blush forms on his cheeks.

“Does he know that you love him?”

“He knows even though we’ve never said it directly to each other.”

“You should talk to him. He needs something steady in his life that he can be sure won’t vanish. You are someone he can rely on but he needs to know that.” Jinki smiles at her and nods with reassurance.

“I’ll talk to him.”

Jonghyun and his sister come into the room with Jinki’s old toy car in Jonghyun’s careful grip. “Hey Jinki, this was your great grandfather’s, right?”

“Mhm, my dad gave it to me when I was 11.”

“It’s so well-crafted and still holding together.” Jinki is nodding when Jonghyun’s curious puppy eyes look up into his. The movement stops as the conversation from before replays in Jinki’s mind and a rush of the purest and most concentrated love hits him.

“I love you,” he says in the kitchen where they aren’t alone but it doesn’t matter. Jonghyun has never smiled so much. He likes the feeling so much that he lets Jinki’s words hang in the air for a while. They are so beautiful and very hard to top but Jonghyun is eager to give it a go.

“I love you too.” His mother and sister smile at him and the boy he loves who loves him too. Things seem to be working now and the tracks have been laid out nice and easy for him so he doesn’t have to guess as much. Jinki places a sealing kiss on his forehead that Jonghyun feels all the way down to his toes so he smiles a little brighter. “Then we can stand by each other always.” Jinki hums through his smile and agrees to a promise he knows will hold for as long as they do, if not longer.

“You can count on me,” Jinki says softly. Jonghyun knows he can and no feeling has ever been this kind to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is alright. I really missed writing stories for this collection :') I'm so glad to be back with all my shawols. Love yall!


	13. New one-shots coming soon :)

Hey guys!

I have been kind of quiet for a while due to the fact that I have been busy with my last year of school. I have been writing another fan fiction that has been taking up all the spare time I have. I am just here to say that once I graduate (end of June) and I have finished my 2Jae fanfic then I will be back to pumping out SHINee one-shots like my life depended on it so you guys better get ready, hehe.

I cannot wait to get back and I do have a Minkey one in the making but I think it is gonna end up longer than a one-shot. Either way, something is coming. It will not be long now. I will also be reading through all of these chapters so I can update them a little since my writing has improved a lot since then and I bet I can find a tonne of grammar mistakes and sentences I want to rewrite. Thank you, everyone, for reading my SHINee stories, I am very passionate about my babes, and thank you so much for the support and love I have gotten here and on Wattpad.

\- Freja Mo :)


	14. Onkey - Touchy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayo! I'm back!
> 
> Hella fluff with a fun twist ;)  
> Wordcount: 3K

It’s hard to resist Jinki when he first starts to get touchy. It can be anywhere at the most unexpected times; it always is, Kibum has found. It can be after several hours of hanging around Kibum’s flat when they finally decide to get up and go grocery shopping that Jinki feels the urge to sneak his arms around Kibum’s back in the middle of the tea and coffee aisle. His hands gently place themselves on Kibum’s lower stomach and his head finds its resting place on Kibum’s shoulder. He will speak in his softest voice as he tries to be helpful by choosing tea. “I like those but they’re more expensive.”

“We can get those, they’re probably a better quality brand.” Kibum always takes the touching well despite how much it makes him want to drop down on his bed in nothing but his underwear and cuddle Jinki close all day. That is what Jinki’s touch does; a touch softer than any other, gentler, more loving and selfish for the right reasons and Kibum is a sucker for it. “Is there anything else you want?” Kibum likes to ask his boyfriend who most times shakes his head with a thoughtful pout and Kibum makes sure to get out of the store and back home as soon as possible. They load the groceries into the kitchen before Kibum lets himself fall into the hands of Jinki and truly appreciate the way every part of him tingles once Jinki’s stubby fingers have been there.

Once Kibum’s senses get overstimulated from the simple touches he tugs at Jinki’s clothes innocently until he is in nothing but his boxers. Kibum admires him with his lips by grazing them across Jinki’s bare shoulders and neck. When he deems himself done spilling his love onto Jinki, he demands that he goes to into bed where he makes his own entry soon after with two cups of tea for the bedside table. He strips to his own underwear and cuddles close to Jinki’s side.

Its not strange that Kibum wants to stay there forever this afternoon, he feels the same every time. What makes today different is his tendency to talk more than just an occasional light thought spoken out loud often related to Jinki’s sweetness that Kibum is drunk on in moments like these. “Jinki.”

“Yes, Kibum?” The soft tone almost throws Kibum off but he is holding onto his words with all his might. He rolls off Jinki so they lie face to face in the white sheets and Kibum can easily run his hand through Jinki’s thick black hair.

“When did you realise you loved me?” The question sounds desperate to the point that Jinki reaches his hand up to caress Kibum’s temple down to his chin and back again.

“Remember when we ate lunch on the roof.” Kibum furrows his eyebrows. “I know. Seven years ago. I was 21, Kibum.” How Jinki ends important sentences by adding Kibum’s name always feels like a soft slap to the face that Kibum takes with joy. Kibum was 19 back then but the memory is still clear in his mind.

_“Why are you sitting up here all by yourself?” Kibum knew something was off about Jinki since they woke up in the dorm earlier that morning. Everyone had, but Kibum was the only one clever enough to figure out where to catch him during lunch. “I was going to have lunch with you.” Jinki’s eyes stay glued to the food in front of him as he shrugs timidly. His long hair falls in waves in front of his face which adds to the gloomy mood that radiates off him very clearly. Kibum sighs with his arms crossed. He rolls his neck around with frustration before dumping down opposite Jinki. “Is it okay if I sit here?” He asks with newfound relaxation in his features._

_“Yes, of course.” Kibum knows what it is about, or at least he has a feeling and he knows just how to comfort his unusually silent friend._

_“It’s weird, huh?” Kibum throws the ball in the air._

_“What is?” Jinki catches it cluelessly just as planned._

_“Being thrown into this whole thing as an only child.” As expected, Jinki’s change of facial expression tells him he hit the jackpot. “Suddenly there are responsibilities and challenges that we haven’t had to deal with before. Minho keeps using my shampoo without asking and it’s really getting on my nerves. I might not hate him anymore but he is really putting the whole ‘friends’ title on the line here… But, without much previous experience, I think that’s what siblings are. Your least and most favourite people in the world and while the others already know this, we’re still just learning.” Jinki’s eyes glisten with recognition and Kibum continues, feeling boosted by the reactions Jinki gives him. “And I know your struggles are even worse than mine. You’re the oldest AND the leader. I can only imagine how tired you are. You waste all your energy making sure we’re all alright.”_

_“I’m tired,” Jinki finally admits with his awfully long fringe covering his eyes from Kibum's._

_“I want you to remember that we can do this together. The five of us are brothers together. It’s not daddy Jinki and his four kids. I promise to be there for you. You’re a great leader because you don’t boss us around, you level with us and simply make sure we’re working well as a team and that gives us some responsibility to make your job easier. We don’t want you ending up growing old before your time,” Kibum jokes softly and reaches out to brush Jinki’s hair away from his face. “And, you know, worst case, it’ll be daddy Jinki and mommy Kibum and their three kids.” Jinki chuckles now and grabs the hand Kibum has placed on his cheek._

_“Thank you, mommy.” They snicker at each other and entwine their fingers “Wanna taste this?” Jinki asks and Kibum nods with his mouth already wide open. Jinki collects a big spoonful and feeds it to Kibum who nods, this time approvingly with a big grin on as he chews._

_“Thank you, daddy.” Kibum barely gets the words out before he cracks up and Jinki follows. The atmosphere has done a 180, courtesy of Kim Kibum, and has become playful and light around them. Jinki points at the sky at one point and Kibum becomes confused when he cannot spot a single thing out of the ordinary._

_“That’s where our heads are.”_

_“Haha,” Kibum says in a dull tone. “Very funny, old man.” Jinki simply smiles at Kibum whose eyes are rolling at the stupidity of his, honestly, cute joke._

_“You’re special, Kibum.”_

“That’s what made you fall in love with me?” Patience fills Jinki’s features at Kibum’s disappointment.

“Well, you’re missing the point, I think. You came up there with me in mind and you didn’t start questioning me about my mood, you simply related to me and it made me feel so much better. I realised that day, that you’re a lot more than what meets the eye. It sparked an interest and when our hands connected I felt so dependent on you and your way of comforting. It’s been like that ever since.”

“Oh,” Kibum says with cheeks flushing red. “I should have thought of that.” Jinki simply smiles and shakes his head. With his hand, he roams Kibum’s back – he is getting touchy again. This time Kibum closes his eyes and grabs Jinki’s hips to pull their bodies closer together. “Don’t stop.” His voice is breathy and his head is obviously in a different world, possibly those damn clouds, so Jinki obeys his command. Eventually, Jinki’s hands have softly caressed every bit of skin he can find on Kibum’s back several times and Kibum’s eyes flutter open.

While Jinki gets touchy with his hands, Kibum likes to get touchy with his lips. He moves on top of Jinki and kisses his chest lovingly. Every peck, press, sometimes lick, screams “I’m yours and I will keep being yours until you don’t want me anymore.”

And Jinki responds with his hands running in lines up and down Kibum’s spine and they yell back; “I’m going nowhere, nowhere without you.” So Kibum falls on top of him in some form of desperation and stays there until Jinki says something.

“Do you wanna come with me to my parents’ house next weekend?” Kibum’s head shoots up from where it was so comfortably resting. “You’ve met them a million times before. You don’t need to be nervous.” Kibum looks like he is buffering with his bottom lip in between his teeth.

“This time is different.” Jinki’s face falls. “You know getting caught on your knees like that, doing what I was doing is not exactly easy to brush off.” Jinki pecks Kibum’s lips as sweetly as he can.

“I couldn’t even look them in the eyes for a really long time after that.” Jinki chuckles to lighten the mood but Kibum remains serious.

“But you’re their son. They’ll look over something like that in a heartbeat. Me on the other hand, I’m now the creep who was sucking their son’s cock under their fucking roof. We were in your old room, Jinki, your old room in their house.” Kibum pouts with shame and his cheeks burn with the memories of that day. Sighing, Jinki gets ready to speak again.

“They do not, Kibum. After talking to them they’ve been able to find the humour in the situation. I even told them how embarrassed you were and they said you don’t need to be. They still love you and they still keep telling me how glad they are that I have you. Do you sincerely think my parents are that petty? You know better, Kim Kibum, you’re just sulking in your own embarrassment but now it’s time to face the music.” A good verbal beating is what Kibum needs sometimes and Jinki is the best at giving them to him. He can make Kibum so ashamed of his actions, head down and muttering his words of apology.

This time, Kibum stays frozen in their eye-contact however, and then he whispers a quick apology to his boyfriend who he knows is beyond correct. “I didn’t mean to think badly of your parents. I never did, I just got so embarrassed that I couldn’t imagine anything but them hating me. Sorry, babe.” The nickname makes Jinki smile as he studies Kibum’s features.

“I know, but you need to hear something like that sometimes or I can’t snap you out of your overly dramatic emotions. I know it’s so embarrassing and I’m not gonna deny you that feeling. I understand it but there’s no way around it, we have to talk to them again.”

“Okay, but if you really acknowledge my feelings you best not start complaining when I squeeze your hand so hard, it will be without feeling when I let go.”

And Kibum does squeeze that hard the second Jinki rings the doorbell to the house. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Jinki shushes his swearing as understandingly as he can and with his free hand, he caressing their entwined hands until Kibum loosens his grip enough to let Jinki breathe. “It’s okay, babe.” With these final words of comfort, the door opens and two smiling faces greet them. Jinki goes right in for a hug which forces Kibum to let go of his hand. With his feet still on the other side of the doorstep, he watches with nervous eyes as they turn to him.

“Kibum, I’m glad you decided to come.” Jinki’s mother brings him into a hug that relaxes him considerably. “Don’t be so nervous. We don’t need to be embarrassed by this. We can just shrug it off. You’re still Kibum who has always made our Jinki the happiest he can be.” Kibum smiles in the embrace before he is let go with a last squeeze. Jinki’s father hugs him too and is let go with a simple red tint on the apples of his cheeks. The rate of his heartbeat has gone down to nearly be at its normal. Without using his words, he thanks them with a bow. Somewhere between the door opening and now, his lips have been sealed shut and the sight makes Jinki laugh. “I think you got him speechless. Congratulations, you have achieved what not even I have managed.” He puts his hand back in Kibum’s and they make their way into the living room.

“I actually have something I want to show you up in my old room and, no, it’s not that,” Jinki is quick to spot the room for a joke that he decides he should fill instead of letting his parents or just leaving it empty to be giggled at. His parents laugh merrily and Kibum has to make a tiny humoured sound as well before he asks Jinki what it is. “It’s this message I wrote before I moved from this house.” Jinki leads him up the stairs and into the room that makes Kibum cringe with regret. That is until he gets distracted by Jinki taking out a chair and standing on it to reach the log going across the ceiling of his old bedroom. From a crack, he pulls out a dusty piece of folded paper. He steps down from the chair and unfolds the paper carefully.

“What does it say?” Kibum asks from the edge of Jinki’s old bed where he has dropped down.

_Dear Lee Jinki in x years._

_I wonder how old you are now? If you are making the music you’ve always wanted to make? If you are famous for it? If you have gotten yourself the brothers you always wanted? If you’re in love or too busy for all that stuff? I wonder if you still dream about boys or if you made it in with the straights?_

_No matter what your answer to any of these questions is, no matter what situation you are standing in, I want you to remember to listen to your heart. That is what I am doing right now and why I am leaving home to follow an insane dream. It sounds horribly cliché to say and I bet it feels even more so for you now, whenever now is, but there is a truth to it. If you let whatever paths you have taken suppress your heart so that you don’t let it feel what it desires to feel, then you’ve done yourself so wrong._

_Are you having a hard time? Open up to someone about it. Are you feeling tired? Make the most of the chances you get to sleep and remember to eat lots. Don’t skip any meals. Are you in love? Tell that person or give them a big hug to show them. You’ve always been a touchy one. I bet your possible boyfriend or girlfriend would testify to that in a heartbeat. Remember to let them know you love them with every gesture and every word. Be a good boyfriend, Lee Jinki, because maybe this is the one. This might be the person to stick with for the rest of your life. Anyways, you take care, okay? Take care and put happiness and hard work first._

_Your former self, Lee Jinki 2006_

Jinki looks up at Kibum with a huge grin on his face. “Isn’t that cool?”

“You were a weird teenager, Jinki,” Kibum chuckles as he gets up to hug him. “But so cute and, indeed, you are very touchy.” To underline that point, Jinki slides his hands around Kibum’s hips and up his back underneath his shirt. “But touchy is good,” Kibum points out.

“You’re just as bad though. You can’t get your mouth off me for a second.” Kibum pulls his face away to show his bitterness. “Evidently so, since you were even caught red-handed too.” Complete and utter wretch is what Kibum feels as he falls back on Jinki’s bed. He is kindly laughed at before Jinki falls down on top of him to speak cooing words to his disgruntled boyfriend. “You know I adore it. Your lips have such a nice shape and they feel nice too, wherever they go on me or whatever noise they spill, I love them regardless.” Jinki pecks the lips in question and earns a big smile from the owner of them.

“Thanks, babe. Now get off me before your parents find us in another compromising position,” Kibum jokes and it visibly relieves Jinki that he can properly joke about it now. “And thanks for sharing that note with me. It was oddly wise like you knew what life was going to be slapping you in the face with.”

“I know I’m a clever boy,” Jinki jokes followed by his dorky laugh that Kibum keeps deep in his heart as a reminder of how simple things can be if you look at them with the right set of eyes; like Jinki’s constantly kind and curious way of approaching things; evident in the message he just read aloud. Even wondering about future struggles was made a bright deal by Jinki’s teenage self. Kibum decides never to lose his touchy side like Jinki could never even imagine losing his. Every touch shared is a promise that their relationship stays simple – simple in the sense that they will never fall and break over silly things like tea. Jinki and Kibum will never fight over tea. Jinki will simply wrap his arms around Kibum, hands on his lower stomach, and Kibum will kiss the temple just in reach as Jinki’s head rests on his shoulder because that is what they are best at.

“Let’s get this one. We haven’t ventured into the world of Chai together and it’s weird because it fits us well.”

“Ooh, that sounds perfect. Warm and rich with spices just like me and you. Guess who’s who.”

“Wipe that grin off your face this instant, Lee Jinki, or I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck, I love fluff.  
> Also hi, hello, annyeong! I'm back and I've been so excited, yall won't believe. It was a little hard for me to get used to this form now that I've been doing the whole weekly update on a longer story kind of thing. I'm getting back on track slowly so bear with me. I have some longer stories for this collection on cue and I can tell you it's gonna be great. Shockingly, none of them involves Jinki but it's good to change things up a bit ;)  
> Good to see yall again. Tell me what you think about my (not so) grand return.


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